despondant witness

IwateBuddy

I moved to a small town about a year and a half ago. A Jehovah's Witness came knocking on my door and I gave him the brush-off but he kept coming back and pestering me until I finally agreed to study with him. We've been studying for about three or four months now and he has lost his original enthusiasm to the point where I am starting to worry about him. I give very detailed objections to his assertions that he can't refute. Yesterday he brought his laptop in with some sort of Bible software but that didn't help him at all. He finally lapsed into total silence for 15 minutes or so and left looking very pale and shaken. He could barely say goodbye. Now given all the pressure JWs are under to perform, adhere to doctrine etc. is there a chance he could lose it and perhaps even kill himself? Has this happened to a JW who can't explain JW doctrine? Can I be held liable if he does?

jwfacts

It can be very depressing realising the Watchtower Society is a cult and can also lead to suicide if the person does not have a support group. I would recommend that you speak frankly with him about how he is feeling, and guide him to this discussion board for support during this difficult time. You are not liable for what happens to him though.

IwateBuddy

Ahhh, unfortunately he doesn't speak English. Is there a site like this in Japanese?

Black Sheep

There is a Japanese forum, but it only has 18 users and is not very busy. It might be best for you to have a look at it before you recommend it to him.

http://bb2.atbb.jp/strongwings/

He would be better off getting psychiatric help from a professional.

Cheers

Chris

nugget

What ever happens it is not your fault. What is probably happening is that he is having an internal struggle since he has been unable to refute your objections.

At your next study try a bit of role reversal, ask him how he feels about the objections you've raised and the lack of clarity within the societies publications. Ask him how he truly feels about the religon he has been championing. Ask him what he likes least about the organisation and if he wasn't a JW what would he have done differently with his life?

Tell him where you have taken your information from and urge him to look at it himself. If he needs to discuss anything you will be happy to listen.

Human beings are fairly resiliant but no one likes to have the rug pulled from beneath them, if you are taking something away then you do need to put something in it's place. Open honest debate in a non judgemental setting is probably what he needs. If he isn't ready then he will probably stop calling and submerge himself back into the organisation.

Black Sheep

if you are taking something away then you do need to put something in it's place.

I disagree. That can result in cult hopping and the poor victim ends up no better off.

Offer friendship, help and advice, by all means, but there is no obligation to be their new spiritual guide.

lisavegas420

The JW's that have come to my house...once I show them my objections, and after they can't change my mind with their bs or answer my questions, they just quit coming over. At least one, stopped going to the meeting all together.

Your study buddy may come back with some more higher powered JW.

Offer friendship, if you're interested in this person as a friend. Know that he is lost and confused.

lisa

nugget

Black sheep I am not suggesting that he offers an alternative religion just a listening ear if the witness feels he needs to look into what has been discussed in more detail. Iwatebuddy does seem worried and concerned about the impact his questions have had all I was doing was suggesting a strategy for the next visit. Hope this helps to clarify things.

Heaven

Is there a Japanese translation of "Crisis of Conscience"? If so, this may help this JW very much.

IwateBuddy

Thanks for the responses everyone. It is all helpful. One of the things about living in a small town is that everyone knows everyone else's business. He can't even blink without it getting back to others. Besides the JW pressure there is this small town atmosphere too.

Having an academic background I am good at picking apart mistakes in a discussion or thesis but my weakness is in human relations. I'm not always the most tactful. He's asked me flat out, "Isn't there anything here you can agree with?" and I just say "No." He's trying to find some common ground for us to build on and I keep suggesting the Bible but he wants to find it in his JW publications. Nugget hit the nail on the head. He seems to be a good guy and if I can help him I'd like to. I have probed for his reactions to some of the things I've shown him but his happy missionary stance had never even so much as cracked until yesterday.

Thanks again for the helpful responses!

despondant witness

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