Assembly Call: PLEASE Come Back & Help Us Out---Ministerial Servants & Elders!

by minimus 74 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  HintOfLime

  As long as they keep piling on the rules and 'conscious matters' whereby 'picking wrong' means you can't serve - then they will continue to lose servants.

  Every time they add a new "conscious matter" you can take the existing servant body and multiply it by 0.99. Repeat 100 times.

  • Want to grow a beard because you look good with one? You're outta there.
  • Want to bleach your hair a little lighter for fun? You're outta there.
  • Did your barber cut your hair a little shorter than you asked? You may be out of there (I actually got counciled about this. I had to explain I didn't want it as short as the guy cut it. Dumbasses.)
  • Have an old tattoo from your childhood? You're outta there.
  • Think it's too hot to wear a suitcoat on sunday? You're outta there.
  • Want to just carry a bible to the door and talk about it instead of a bookbag full of liturature? You're outta there.
  • Want to go get an education? You're outta there.
  • Want to see an R-rated movie? You're outta there.
  • Want to see a PG-13 rated movie, but it has boobies? You're outta there (my brother nearly lost his privalges for seeing Titanic - based on the 0.0001% chance a witness saw him leave that theater, he could stumble someone.)
  • Get a little "carried away" with your girlfriend and start necking or your hands wander a little too much? You're outta there, bud.
  • Have a night where your wife and you get a bit horny and try a few new things.. and you let it slip to a buddy? You're outta there.
  • Drink a little too much at a party? You're outta there.
  • You actually went to a party, rather than sing kingdom melodies with a few friends? You're outta there.
  • Do you miss a meeting or saturday morning service every week due to your job? You're outta there.
  • Have a facebook account? You're going to post something that means you're outta there.
  • Not good friends with an elder or the son of an elder? You're outta there.
  • etc. etc.

  Basically, if you're a normal human, you do not apply. They can beg all they want - but nobody but old boring or broken people can measure up to all of that... and even they have to keep a few secrets.

  - Lime
• 

  rockmehardplace

  outlaw has it right. i am made of flesh. not toilet paper.
• 

  1914BS

  No facial hair yet Jesus had plenty
• 

  HappyGuy

  I HATED wearing a suit and tie. The first meeting for field service I showed up at my hair was half way down my back (I had only had 1 study), they tried to tell me I could not go in service. I just laughed, yeah, like you are going to tell me that I cannot talk to people about God. Right. THen they told me that they didn't want me to say that I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I said "I'm not one of Jehovah's Witnesses so I wasn't planning on saying that", they told me to say I was a "Bible student". I said, "don't worry about me, I know how to talk to people". I brought a whole bunch of Good News paper back Bibles that I was going to give away. They got REALLY upset about that. I said "I can't give away Bibles"? They answer "No, not THAT Bible". I never did understand what was wrong with the Good News Bible, I always loved that Bible.

  Anyway, they always use the excuse about the no beard, short hair, suit and tie thing that you need to make a good impression and people will trust you more if you look like an FBI agent blah blah blah. My piont is that I don't trust people in suits and ties, never have, never will. I am far more likely to trust a down to earth dude who just stepped off his motorcycle who has a beard and long hair and a leather jacket on.

  This notion that people won't "trust" you if you don't have a suit and tie on was true maybe 70 years ago, but it certainly is not true today. I work in the computer industry a lot and whenever someone in a suit and tie comes around someone will make the joke "hey who's the DEA agent"?

  I read somewhere that the Jehovah's Witnesses are an 1800s puritanical, fundamentalist sect and they were right.
• 

  minimus

  I seriously don't think they get it. They are the ones who force elders and servants out. NO ONE can do everything they expect of you.
• 

  stillajwexelder

  Minimus - you are 100% correct. I too have had a "shepherding call" begging me to reach out again. They must be desperate!!!!
• 

  Mickey mouse

  stilla, you should do it for the craic.
• 

  finallysomepride

  walk in the path of jesus, just don't look anything like him or you are out. Neva wanted to be one & thank god I was never considered.
• 

  Mary

  Golly.......I wonder if they'll get so desperate that they open the doors to the female species.
• 

  cyberjesus

  haha a CO whom I know came to see me to tell me to hurry back up that they needed many elders back in mexico. They must be desperate to talk to Dfd guys like me :-)