How to Keep Nosy JW Relatives at Bay

Open mind

My family is in the process of reaching out to establish friendships outside the JW religion. At some point we will likely be ready to fade into total JW inactivity. When we do that there will inevitably be numerous well-intentioned attempts to snatch us from the jaws of Satan.

1. Do you have any particularly effective phrases or sentences that let the concerned JW know that you're not willing to pursue a "spiritual" conversation but at the same time, not saying something that is blatantly apostate?

2. If you know of any threads that address this (I'm sure there's tons) please post a link.

Thanks again to all the posters here and to Simon & Angharad for helping me and my family see the light of day.

om, wife & kids

SixofNine

1. Do you have any particularly effective phrases or sentences that let the concerned JW know that you're not willing to pursue a "spiritual" conversation but at the same time, not saying something that is blatantly apostate?

Yes! I just watched a couple of seasons of "The Wire" and I think I have several phrases or sentences that would be effective. PM me for details. Better yet, just rent a few episodes, it's great family viewing ;)

Open mind

Thanks sixofnine!

You have a PM.

om

zarco

OM -

I think relatives figure things out. We usually just say something like, we hope you are right, time will tell, I have been thinking about that and still can't get my head around it.

We had a family gathering recently and come to find out, none of the family were active (we all live in different parts of the country). We also invited a few friends from when we were young and they are not really active either. It was funny to find out that we were all in similar circumstances. We had a healthy discussion about how harmful it is to be isolated from educational, sporting and similar activities growing up. The two families that still have school age kids allow them to participate in sports and other activities. All of the kids have plans to go to college. We were all in agreement that none of the kids should consider baptism until they are finished with college.

It was a surreal experience.

Zarco

jabberwock

Yes! I just watched a couple of seasons of "The Wire" and I think I have several phrases or sentences that would be effective. PM me for details. Better yet, just rent a few episodes, it's great family viewing ;)

Phrases from the Wire? Please don't keep these just between the two of you. If you really don't feel comfortable posting them then please send me a PM.

Mickey mouse

This is a brilliant thread on "The art of fading" by Expatbrit.

Open mind

Thanks for that link Mickey Mouse!

I remember reading it when I first started lurking here, but it's all the more personally relevant now.

om

OnTheWayOut

Mickey posts a good link that is very true. Remember the point that you have to accept that the fade might not work.
That doesn't mean not to do it, for that would be the most pitiful life, but it means that you must pursue the life after WT and accept that some people will never accept it. You just hope that your family are not the ones who don't accept "inactive" ones. But if they are, they are.

I am ready with "But I have not left 'the truth.' I am always in pursuit of 'the truth.'"

Dagney

In the beginning I said something like "I have some things I need to work out between me and the corporation. And for now, it has to be between me and (cough) Jehovah."

I wanted them to be clear it wasn't a personal issue with anybody. I wanted them to know I had problems with the corporation, and I hoped it would be relayed as such.

I also am waiting to say, "I was raised to value the the truth, and search for the truth, and stand up for the truth. That has not changed." And leave it at that.

I wanted to say you should always be in control of the conversation. If you present a position of strength and power, chances are the interrogation will be deferred to another time when they think it will be more favorable to their intentions.

no more kool aid

Micky mouse that was a great link. We just get quiet and eventually excuse ourselves when the relatives get too preachy.

Actually they don't say a whole lot. I think they are afraid to know what would rock stable JW's like ourselves out of the organization. If I gave them a non apostate reason they would call it petty. If I pulled out the big guns, like dates, flipflops, the UN, sexual abuse, my fade would be over. So I don't say anything and keep conversation superficial.

How to Keep Nosy JW Relatives at Bay

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