Pardon Me, but I Hate My Husband. (page 2)

straightshooter

Some love to proclaim bad news thinking that this will reach hearts. But it is the "good news" of a compassion and love that is really good. Hopefully Nathan never becomes a ministerial servant or elder because it only gets worse.

Farkel

With such a fine resume, Nathan should make Circuit Overseer in no time.

Farkel

palmtree67

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver is one of my favourite books, I have read it many times.

I'll tell this story about the last trip I took with my ex. We were in a particularly poor country. I was conversing with a local man about his country and he showing me some of the local money. I traded him a Canadian $5 for a few of his - he was clearly getting the better end of the deal, and I felt like I was getting a cool souvenir.

My ex-husband had a fit when we got back to the van and berated me for about 10 mins about how stupid I was, didn't I know that what I got wasn't worth $5?? I was an idiot for allowing myself to be ripped off. The other 3 couples in the van (all JW's) merely watched him take a strip off me and never said a word. I felt like a misbehaving little child who had just gotten a good scolding.

And he still can't figure out why I left him.

compound complex

The true-believer husband, who can neither express himself in words nor on paper, may, nonetheless, think ...

What have I become?

A madman like Paul, zealous beyond all power of reason, a misogynist? Saving souls, not for Christ, but for a publishing corporation posing as a religion? Not souls saved, but mindless slaves peddling the word - their convoluted, coercing words - not His. This isn't what I signed up for. Betty has always been on the nose when it comes to the truth - truth about the basics - humanity, compassion, just plain old goodness of heart. Well, she still is - my dear wife is the real deal.

Not me, Nathan Adamson, the golden boy, the young preacher wunderkind, groomed by the elders to run the business of minding the flock. Keep the 99 penned up, doing their mindless busy work, and the one little sheep who strays? No question; he's incorrigible. He has doubts or fears or some embarrassing vice ... If he was of our sort he would have stayed, not strayed....

The times I want to tell Betty how proud I am of her - how I cherish her - for her kindness, her compassion. Instead, I rage against her by the power of Almighty God of the desert. It's too late ... I've gone past the point of no return.

She looks into my eyes, with tears in her own:

'What, dear Nathan, have you become?'

'Please forgive me, my beloved wife ... I have no words for you but an abundance for the congregation.'

Thank you, dear friends, for your thought-provoking posts.

Love,

CoCo, a remorseful former husband

Quentin

An astute insightful view of what a marriage often becomes. I know now Kathy must have always loved me, living with what I became after we married. Thanks CoCo for bringing realty to your stories.

Quillsky

This is a well-drawn portrait of an unequal relationship....

My husband merely glowered during the course of my tiny intercessions; I was still in the safe embrace of our householders' company. It was the volley of harsh rebukes that scorched my ears once we returned to our car. I tried to reason with Nathan, attempting to explain my understanding of the Scriptures. Berated and beaten down, I learned to keep my place.

Since I left the Witnesses I've experienced the same dynamic with a man I was close to who, thank god, I didn't marry.

It's not a JW thing as much as a dysfunctional male thing.

compound complex

Thanks, Quentin and Quillsky, for responding.

Your comments help me get a better sense of who I am and what we males - with or without a controlling religion reinforcing our beyond-rude behavior - have done to our loved ones, that in the name of Jehovah.

It's taken me nine months to frame Nathan's heart-rending but unspoken words of remorse to the one most needing to hear them. It took seeing a particular movie today to trigger the above admission.

Again, my appreciation to you both.

CoCo

Hopscotch

Dear CoCo

Nathan is a product of years of training by the mysoginist WTS who want their married women followers to be submissive little mice, doing everything for their lord and master husbands, putting up with all kinds of neglect and abuse and most importantly, to keep quiet about it all.

Nathan is a victim too just as his dear wife Betty is.

Hopscotch

compound complex

Dear Hopscotch:

It's great hearing from you again. I hope that you and yours are well.

Yes, both are victims. While I was "Betty" regarding the manner portrayed out in service, I was "Nathan" in other ways. The story is somewhat the composite of typical JW guys' behavior - bad.

Gratefully,

CoCo

Pardon Me, but I Hate My Husband.

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