Welcome to the New World

purplesofa

Even for a JW's way of thinking~~~~

There are just so many things in this little write-up by a JW that is so assuming and twisted

2 Year Meeting after Armageddon

Dear Brothers, Please include the reminders below in the NRO (New Resurrected Ones) 2-year review meeting. Thank you. WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD! We hope your stay here has been a pleasant one. However, to assist in making your new life pleasant and enjoyable, please consider the following reminders. 1. With regards to food, we must ask you newly resurrected ones to please get over the idea of eating meat. This is particularly important in view of all the animals walking around now. Thus. 2. NO, you cannot have a hamburger, filet mignon, or baby back ribs. Look, everyone is going through adjustments to be here, it's not just you. After a while, you will get used to vegetables--really. 3. Many of you are anxious to get in touch with long lost loved ones, but you're going to have to be patient. There is no email anymore. So those of you who were alive in the last days of the old system, you're just going to have to rely on word of mouth and/or letters for now. You can't update your Facebook page, nor tweet "I can't believe I made it!" on your Twitter account either.

We don't have any plans for anything resembling the Internet until at least after Satan is removed from his abyss and destroyed, so you're looking at least 1,000 years minimum. (Now you can appreciate how everyone else lived before the 1990's.)

4. While we're speaking of technology, for those of you who lived in the 20th century , television is also out for now. (Do you know how ugly the New World would look with antennas sticking up all over the place?) Have you ever seen a satellite dish in any of the Society's New World illustrations? Didn't think so.

We promised to get you here, and you made it - that's great. But you're not going to be able to catch up on all the movies, sporting events, or Star Trek episodes that you missed after you died. And don't even THINK about reality shows.

5. One of the blessings of the New World is peace with the animal realm, so it is sad that some are engaging in practical jokes.

For example, on at least three occasions, friends have evacuated the water and beaches of the shore when someone on land thought it would be funny to yell "Shark!" This put a good scare in everyone until they realized that sharks are now as timid as minnows. It may have been funny watching your brothers and sisters run from the water, but this isn't loving, is it?

6. In the Old World, when asked, "What do you want to do in the New World", almost everyone has said, "learn to play an instrument." Therefore, many are doing this today.

Please.we beg you -- JUST STOP.

Realize that you're not a very good musician. There are other talents you could pursue at this time. Music is just not one of them.

However, if you insist on continuing, could you at least keep it down please? Close the windows? Shut the doors? Practice in a closet?

Someday you may perfect this. But you will not be perfect for at least 1,000 years and neither will your playing.

Consideration people, that's all we're asking.

7. Finally, we're all happy to be here in the New World and there is much work to do. Everyone is required to work, and we do have sufficient time off to rest and recreate. Yet, it has been reported that some brothers have attempted to call in and take SICK DAYS.

Brothers, there are NO SICK DAYS. This is the New World, remember? Does the expression "No resident will say, 'I am sick.'" sound familiar?

You may have been able to use this excuse for your worldly employer, but it won't be accepted here.

Now, we hope everyone will cooperate with these points for the benefit of everyone.

peacedog

carpediem

OMG I can actually imagine that letter being circulated!

WingCommander

Uh, wow. Only a JW douchebag Elder or wanna-be MS could write something so disgusting.

Can you imagine living into the New Order, and then all of a sudden be completely beaten down with all of these Pharasitical rules? I'd up and smack the sh*t out of an "Overseer" on the first day!! I couldn't take being talked down to on such a level, it is beneath human dignity.

This email shows what for a twisted, sick, manipulating, controlling attitude these disfunctional socially retarded cult-freaks have towards nearly everything.

Where is the love? What, no singing praises to YHWH and Jesus? Oh no...the letter is all about controlling YOU.

Want to know what life would be like in a JW New Order? Imagine a giant boot stomping on your face for all of eternity. Truly Paradise Brother!!

- Wing Commander