The Ransom for Nitwits

by Farkel 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Mark 10:45: "For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."

    1 Timothy 2:5-6: "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time."

    The Ransom that was Taught for the First 1,000 Years of Christianity

    Due to Adamic sin, humans were captive to satan, satan had acquired "ownership" over them, and God "had" to somehow, buy them back from Satan! It's pretty hard to imagine the Creator of the Universe and everything in it, getting over His head in debt to one of his own kids, but that's what they believed. God, being that He is, well "God", would look pretty bad if his credit rating ever dropped below 850, so he must have felt obligated to pay that debt and clear things up. So, in effect, God made a deal with the Devil, his kid.

    He made this deal with the Devil by buying his human kids back from Satan by killing his firstborn kid, Jesus. But God was clever. He "tricked" Satan with a "bait and switch" tactic by resurrecting Jesus!

    When Satan complained that he got screwed on the deal, God said, "I said I would kill Jesus, but I never promised not to resurrect him almost immediately after. Now give me back my human kids." God can be such a prankster.

    This doctrine is what was actually taught for about the first 1,000 years of the Christian era.

    Modern Religions Which Teach a Ransom Doctrine Similar to Jehovah's Witnesses

    Today, besides Jehovah's Witnesses, there are very few religions outside of the Eastern Orthodox churches and the Protestant World Faith Movement who believe in the Ransom Theory.

    Here are two major ones who do:

    1) The Eastern Orthodox churches: their leaders are the ones with the big scraggly beards and look like they haven't washed their hair in several months. That is because they haven't washed their hair in several months. When it comes to their dress codes and grooming, think "Taliban." They also have those big garish churches with the domes, spires and goofy colors and are found in cities where the sun never shines through the thick black fog. You know, the kind of buildings you saw in old vampire movies as a kid and that gave you so many nightmares. Think "Red Square" in Moscow and you'll get the picture. If history is any indication, I guess people probably preferred to live under Stalin's Communism rather than have to attend those scary churches and listen to guys with scraggly beards and dirty hair tell them what to do.

    2) The Protestant world-faith movement is a very conservative branch of Christianity, which among other things love tent-revivals, whacking crippled people on their heads to make them walk again, lots of screaming, crying and talking in strange languges. But mostly they worship a God who is always (I mean ALWAYS) short on cash and needs more of it. LOTS more of it. But they are REALLY good at doing "the wave" together!

    So, to summarize, when it comes to groups who believes in the "ransom" doctrine, Jehovah's Witnesses keep pretty good company.

    The Common Christian Teaching on the Purpose of Jesus' Death

    Most Christians believe that because of Adam, all other humans were born in sin and pretty much, sin is what humans do best. They believe that to get out of this mess, Jesus came along and died to wash away those sins and take the burden of them upon himself. This was voluntary on the part of Jesus. He didn't have to do it, unless God had yet another "or else" clause in the deal. Yeah. God probably had one of those for Jesus, too.

    So Jesus comes to earth, does a few magic tricks, tells some good stories and pisses off almost everyone. So they hanged him. On a giant popsickle stick. A few days later, he's home again except now he's drenched in the sins of everyone alive and everyone who was ever alive. The Bible doesn't quite explain whether he has to be burdened with carrying around all that sin for eternity or not, or whether he can just "wash" it off, but for the moment, everyone was able to dump their sins onto him.

    What about the "new" sins, though? What happens to those? I guess they just keep piling on top of Jesus or something. If Jesus only had to carry just my personal sins, that alone would make him a cripple. I shudder to think what he would be like with everyone's sins, especially those of the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses(tm), not to mention those of your average politician or real estate agent.

    Anyway, for most Christians, that's sorta how it works.

    The Watchtower Ransom(tm)

    But not Jehovah's Witnesses. They believe Jesus paid a ransom but not in the traditional sense as I've already outlined. No! Not Jehovah's Witneses!

    Now, this part is going to get a bit complicated, so bear with me here. When you have a debt, and it is paid, there is no more debt. When someone is taken captive and a ransom is paid, the captive is released. The deal is done.

    Humans have been taken "captive" by sin. The Bible says the wages of sin is death. When one dies, the "wages" are paid. I mean, what MORE could a human give in wages than his own life? If this verse is to be believed to mean what it says, then there would have been no need for any "ransom." Just let everyone die. Done deal. Clean slate. Debt paid. Maybe in that case, the "ransom" could be considered a "down payment" on eventual eternal life for humans.

    But a real world ransom is never a down payment. It is the ENTIRE payment. Then again, who believes that Jehovah's Witnesses live in any real world?

    But as usual, nothing is as easy as it should be in dubland. In dubland, it is taught there are some people who will never see another second of life in all of eternity, DESPITE the fact that they paid the wages of sin by dying, AND the fact that Jesus died and "ransomed" them from their sin. No! In dubland, not only is ONE payment not enough, but TWO payments, including one made by Jesus Christ himself is not enough!

    Let's take a quick look at the "reasoning" of the ransom doctrine as taught by the WTS. Keep some meclizine and dramamine handy as you may get dizzy and nauseous from reading what is to follow:

    Adam "lost" the right to eternal life for mankind.

    Oh, wait! He didn't "lose" it because he didn't have it yet. He would have only had it to "lose" if he had eaten of the "Tree of Life", which he didn't do. So, logically he couldn't "lose" what he didn't have to "lose."

    At any rate, God killed Adam by making him die when God didn't have to kill Adam for making him die since Adam really didn't "lose" anything for the human race. What he lost was God's favor. That is NOT a good thing to lose. Adam would verify that fact if he could.

    So God punishes billions of people by not giving them eternal life because Adam "lost" something he didn't have. Do you understand this VERY important point? Adam couldn't have "lost" something he didn't have to "lose" in the first place! God punished people for a bogus reason according to WTS doctrine!

    So in order to fix what already is a "false cause fallacy" about losing the right to life Adam didn't have in the first place and then making people die, God comes up with a novel solution. The way to "fix" people losing the right to live is to kill someone. Better yet, to kill his own kid!

    To put this in human terms so even a dummy like me can understand it, let's say my second-born kid did a really bad thing, like disobey me. So I decide the best way to resolve this problem is to kill that second born and then kill all of the future offspring of my second born after letting them lives for a few years. Then a few thousand years later also go ahead and kill my FIRST-born kid who did nothing wrong, and then I say "that settles the score."

    But the problem here is that does NOT settle the score. Besides, people get killed for no sensible reason and certainly not because anything was their fault. In the real world, when a person is taken hostage and a ransom is demanded and paid, the hostage is then immediately released. Fair deal. It's extortion, but at least both parties benefit. But Bible God of the Watchtower is WORSE than one just demanding extortion. He doesn't even keep his end of the deal.

    Humans were taken hostage by Adam and because of that, billions suffered and died. Then the "ransom" was paid and humans are STILL screwed up 2,000 years and billions of more deaths later. No Adamic Paradise has been returned. No perfect life has been returned. No eradication of old age, death and misery has been returned. After 2,000 years there is NOTHING to show, and I mean NOTHING to show for that "ransom" that was "paid" 2,000 years ago. No! Now the best (and that is an iffy "best") that can be expected is another 1,000 years of testing and then a "final exam" which is supposed to be the worst "final exam" in the history of mankind. THEN the "ransom" is paid-in-full. But even after that, if you screw up, you're toast.

    But it is even worse than that! Jesus didn't really pay a ransom for you and I directly. We get NO benefit from the mediator of mankind unless we go through the mediator's mediator for mankind, to wit, the Watchtower Printing Corporation. Without them, Jesus' ransom doesn't mean squat for anyone. To put it in a nutshell, in order to get the benefit of Jesus' life insurance policy you have to go through his exclusive agent, and even then, your chances of collecting on it are pretty slim. The fees for that agent are very steep to pay and they've never paid out on a single claim. Ever.

    Some "ransom."

    Farkel

  • Goshawk
    Goshawk

    Thank you Farkel, you brought a smile when I needed one.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Any of the several 'applications' of the 'ransom' system in Christian thought is ludicrous, as you pointed out so well, Farkel.

    None of it makes a lick of sense, which might explain why the lemming masses flock to accept it?

    Jeff

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    The mental gymnastics are dizzying in WT world!

  • glenster
    glenster

    The comparison I think of:

    - usually the idea is that, considering mankind's bad choices with their free
    will, they weren't in God's good graces as deserving eternity so He condemned
    them to only have so much life then die (given in the story of Adam and Eve in
    the way God punished them and their descendants). Then, since some had been
    faithful and worthwhile, the one who left them in their previous state, God,
    took the burden of responsibility onto Himself and reconciled the faithful (or,
    Universalism, everyone) to Himself on the cross with the offer of heaven.

    That should be enough of a matter of faith. However:

    - The JWs leaders' version has a literal Adam and Eve, God needing a perfect
    person to be sacrificed to make up for Adam's sin (although Adam was already
    punished with death for his sin) which caused all subsequent people to be of sin
    and die (although God is given in the story as the one who punished Adam and Eve
    in the way that caused their descendants to have the same fate--Adam and Eve
    were only of the understanding that they'd die if they sinned, so can't be
    responsible regarding the descendants).

    The descendants could only offer sacrifices for their personal choices to sin,
    not end the condemnation, either (which wasn't their resonsibility to make up
    for, so they weren't considered by themselves or God as being in any position to
    make up for it, even if they could have sacrificed a sinless person).

    So God sent archangel Michael (who also had nothing to do with it) appear as a
    person and be sacrificed to make up for what Adam did (which Adam died for, as
    he was told beforehand he would if he sinned, so he had nothing to do with the
    fate of the descendants) which is actually to make up for the descendants being
    condemned by God. This way, the descendants (who had nothing to do with it)
    could say they were sorry (for something they didn't do) by believing in having
    Michael (who, again, had nothing to do with it) die. Michael took it good
    naturedly, although I would have complained.

    The JWs leaders give this as a matter of God's judgment requiring it.

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    glenster,

    If it rings your chimes to come up with a new fairy tale to explain something when another fairy tale on the matter is logically demolished, then God bless you.

    Be sure to feed your invisible purple unicorn. They need care, you know.

    Farkel

  • Olin Moyles Ghost
    Olin Moyles Ghost

    Good work, Farkel. As a believing JW, I never understood the ransom. How could being dead for 36 hours compensate for Adam being dead forever? And if Jesus paid the ransom 2000 years ago, why are people still dying? I always figured it was too "deep" and I wasn't "spiritual" enough to understand it. Kinda like the "issue of universal sovereignty"...

  • glenster
    glenster

    Farkel:
    You're crazy. I have a hope commitment in a possible God and know I'm doing
    it when I'm doing it. There's a difference. I like some crazy people, though.
    The order of the interpretations of the interpretations is the other way
    around--I relayed an old one that works for the material and that I don't see
    the sense of the relatively new JWs leaders' one.
    (PS: my Dad was a cartoonist for the Pittsburgh Press. I used to have Mad
    magazines from the 1st couple years of it.)

  • moshe
    moshe

    The Bible doesn't explain how Jesus' sacrifice actually works in practice. As they say, the devil is in the details. Thanks for the lesson Farkel.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    I ran some. Then I quit.

    Now I'm toast.

    Thanks Farkel. That was one of the best rides down the ransome rabbit hole I've ever taken.

    om

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