by hoggieman 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Welcome,
Great advise from Wac and Moshe. I am in a similar situation and by not talking to family members about my opinions have been able to distance myself for many years now.
I have told a few zealous ones that, " there are some things I don't understand fully , however I have faith that Jehovah will show me the way, through personal study and prayer. But for now I choose not to voice my doubts as I do not want to be a cause for stumbling.
P.s. and I am still trying to figure it out.
tt
tt - nice response
I, too, agree with WAC. - on his *first* comment on this thread, not the follow-ups~!!
Maybe call your uncle, tell him you are going through a stressful period right now (it's not even a lie or exageration, is it?) and it was really wrong of you to vent on your mom. You knew it was wrong as soon as you said what you did and it won't happen again. You are thoughtfully and prayerfully working things out. You truly appreciate his concern, love, support and encouragement and will call you mom to apologize for venting on her and causing undue concern on her part.
Then go out and make something really GOOD happen for your and your wife! If you claim 'stress', be ready to quickly start working to alleviate that stress. Starting January 1st (only TWO DAYS AWAY~~!!). Take a class together. Take regular hikes or some other such activity that takes a little time out of service and or meetings but is fun for both of you. (A strong-in-the-truth witness I know has recently taken up bicycling and has even enterred some competitions or other such big bicycling events. To my knowledge, no one is giving her flack for it.)
Once you talk to the uncle and make quick peace with your mom, Phase II of your fade has then begun. Congrats!!
-Aude.
You've been given good advice, so just wanted to add my welcome! (In over thirty years....out with my husband for about four)
Moshe put it very well, Are you happy? I spent over 20 years in that cult and had to tell myself all the time that I must be happy because we serve a happy god. I was miserable and once I accepted that I was unhappy then I was able to see that the problem was not me but the organization. I dissassociated myself (faded) and now I can truely smile and say Iam happy. Do not let the society push you around. You hold the cards. It is your life.
Audesapere-good point about my mom...will do. I am trying to be honest with myself and not live a lie..that is why just laid it out for my mom. I have small kids and do not want to teach them it was ok to hide things form people. Did not want to brief them on what to say and not to say when talking to grandma. But in retrospect it was just too fast. I have not gone to a meeting in maybe 2 moths…before that I would get maybe 4 out of 10.
Yes, I am happy. I feel like I have a better relationship with jah than ever before. I am study the bible way more than before….I am doing this out of sincerity, not compulsion-which feels better. I can stop being afraid of what I would do if my kids got into a serious accident. I am a sad though about the potential loss of some family and a certain loss of the rest for me and my family. Also some serous regret and sadness about how I treated my dad before he died because of his opposition to the org. But all in all I am good.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
Just wanted to say welcome and I hope you can smooth things over with the family. Remember you need to be honest with yourself, but you don't owe everyone else access to your private thoughts.
It is great you and your wife are on the same page. That is a great foundation. Take good care of the little ones and give them a balanced life and a great future.
Hi Hoggieman
Good advice from the ex elders on this thread.
Whats more you are best to fade away gradually. Saves a lot of hassle all round.
TE
Hogieman,
I was in a very similar situation last year. My wife knew how I felt and expressed it to an elder in our KH. This Elder was not only a family member but also the best man in ny wedding. Our kids are also best of friends. When he said he wanted to talk my response was;
"I want you to understand there are some things bothering me. I am not ready to express these thoughts as any misinterpretaion by you could put you in a position that you will not be comfortable with. Once I sort some things out in my own mind be assured I will rely on you for help. Until then, please respect me as an uncle and friend."
I never went back to meetings and still talk to him weekly. He got the point. As long as I wasn't vocal he would be cool.
Welcome Hoggieman! What doubts did you specifically mention?
