by AllTimeJeff 15 Replies latest jw friends
A life lesson here folks, if only I could talk to 19 year old ATJeff, I would tell him.
"You tell that crazy bitch that a job pays for the bills. If you can get insurance,
it will pay for the therapy she desperately needs. Stick to your guns!".....ATJ
........................ ...OUTLAW
this is how their marriage started. Young, mental illness and pioneering!
Yep, that's the JW way
Thanks for sharing. I can relate to much of your experience. I actually loved that video you referred to, although now that I've grown up, I would really like to know where all those interviewed are today, especially the ex-surfer dude. He would have been better off still surfing, and I would have been better off not believing that I wanted to be like him. It is amazing that a a full-time servant can have a mental disorder, not have health insurance, not makeenough money or the skills to really support themselves, and not have a weekly family study, but still be appointed by God's spirit and an example to all only as long as they continue their full-time status. Sad indeed. Look forward to hearing more of your story - you are not alone.
The sad fact is, it's the easiest thing to do to marry poorly in the borg. The best marriages always seemed to me to be the irreagular/inactive, who actually invested time in their marriage instead of the borgs ridiculous schedule.
Jeff, I've noticed that too. Matter fact, I'd say the people that are irregular/inactive seem to be more normal in general than many of the ones indoctrinated beyond hope. I'm single now man, and it's funny that the one's I'm attracted to, are the ones that aren't drones. It's the ones not making the national average hours, not commenting, not so much as even reading a scripture. They might comment once in a while. What I like about em though, is when you talk to them after the meeting or outside of a JW scenario in a normal setting, you can't help but be intrigued by who they are. It's attractive. The average pioneer amongst other drone types speak to you as if you're interviewing them. Can't stand that.
Question for you Jeff, looking back on it all, would you call your 19yr ol self, a "nice guy"? As in the "Nice Guys Finish Last Class"? I've seen your story and others play out so many times. As a teen and young adult I was "nice guy." Always the nice guy that lets some woman run all over him. As I came into my own as an adult, I vowed I will NEVER get married to someone who doesnt want to work. I will NEVER marry a pioneer. If a woman shows the slightest sign of mental instability, I would never give her any inclination that she and I could ever be together. Some weeks ago, I noticed a couple things that I found touching, that a couple single pioneers in my hall did. I started to get them a couple gifts just to say I noticed their kindness. I told a relative about my plans, and she warned me immediately, don't do that. Those women are single and desperate. Later on I thought, man she's right. That's something that could have got ugly. The "nice guy" creeping out of me again.
Dating and marriage is difficult enough, without the old guys at the WT creating a culture that suffocates it even more with all their theocratic rigamarole. Glad your future is looking bright though Jeff. Wish the best for you man.
Thanks for sharing Jeff
"Until then, I was pretty much an asshole on plenty of levels"
So what has changed? j/k
It was difficult being a young single jw woman. Many brothers said they would only marry a regular pioneer. The competition was stiff enough so many regular pioneered until they got married.
Other married sisters who wanted their husbands to "progress" to being an MS or elder were told that if they regular pioneered, their husband's chances would improve. So they regular pioneered until hubbie was appointed an elder.
Then there were the ones that were told their social life would improve if they spent their time pioneering with the congregation; that was me...it worked some; it was hard to avoid you at the meetings for field service (though some days I found myself alone as the other 2 sisters went off on a study).
I'm sure there are other reasons.
