Damage Control

Nute

Why are so many of us hung up on the fact that we are Disfellowshiped or Disassociated .... This crazy organization that we all use to belong to is nothing more then a human board game like Monopoly and these old guys (angels in the flesh) make up the rules as time goe's on, it brings chills down my back when I recall how my father would say "The faithfull and discreet slave" as if these guys are stuck away in some most holy room in Bethel in the very presence of God in order to uptate his World Wide Organization of a new or revised rule. Being DF myself means just about as much to me as the rule that who ever lands on free parking gets all the money ... All it is is a rule that a bunch of old guys (now dead) agreed on years back. As we have seen the society has changed it's tune about a lot of stuff .... Would it really surprise any of us if they decided for what ever twisted selfesh reasons to change their policys on this issue of ousting members. That is why we seek refuge within this group because we don't make up rules like shunning anyone who doe's not think the way we do. Hear we can express our feelings, whatever they may be and not worry about being expelled form all human contact. We already have enough hate in the world .... Lets not let it come in here.

Nute

Gopher

Hi Nute,

I think the main reason that DF'ing or being DA'd ever comes up is because of the harsh effect it has on those on whom these tags are attached-- WHEN THEY STILL HAVE RELATIVES WHO ARE JW's!! Those of us who have to agonize over how to approach parents or other relatives who have walled us off and discount our humanity continue to pay a price for this label slapped on us by the organization.

I don't see anyone within this group treating a DF'd or DA'd one any differently. It's not a big issue for interaction within this forum. But it is a sore spot if we have "fleshly" (sorry for that theocratic term) ties to people still caught in the JW trap.

GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

LB

I'm with you Nute. As far as I'm concerned this board is a wonderful support group. Not being the deep thinker like some of our "brain trust" is prevents me from appreciating the finer aspects of being an apostate. But I certainly can understand a persons feelings. Especially when they are hurting.

I got some great support here from the fluff posters. I was having troubles with my son and they really gave me great advice. Hopefully someday I'll be able to return that favor.

But I've enjoyed chatting with you Nute. Stick around.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

Nute

WOW .... The noose is tight, it is so sad.

Nute

terafera

Just tossin in my 2 cents:

I agree with ya. I notice some seem 'hung' up on being DF'd and sometimes it seems like we're all talking like people that got rejected out of a great Club. Far from it though.. I've never thought of myself as any type of 'reject' and have a happy life. Sometimes, though, reading other posts I go down nostalgia lane and start feeling my bitterness and anger rise up. I'm guilty of having a pity party too and venting my frustrations as well as anyone else.

What I've come away with though, is that this is a good place for people that have been through alot of the same circumstances that most people in this world would never, ever understand.. no matter how hard we tried to explain it. I know myself, I've tried to make my husband see what I went through, but I've read here in posts the EXACT way I feel. In that way, this is a wonderful support forum.

Another thing I like about it is that it keeps me informed. There are a few things I've learned in the past 2 days that I never knew about the Organization. It helps me not feel so guilty. The guilt is there sometimes due to the talks my family has with me on an almost weekly basis.

I dont like seeing people slamming others in here though.. it just feels wrong. Even if we agree to disagree, it would be better than being cruel. I understand how that could be a turn-off for some that see it... alot of us have seen enough ugliness to last a lifetime.

I enjoy getting to know you all and will continue to throw my 2 cents in when you allow me...

Note: if you want to read the funniest thread of the day, go to Witness memory #2332 by Naeblie.

It really put a smile on my face! I could use more posts like that..

:)

Tera

Nute

Hi Tera,

Thanks for your 2 cents .... Anytime.

Catch ya on the flip side Cowboy (LB)

Nute

Gopher

I agree with the posters that say this place is great for support. It is why I keep coming back here, too. Along with finding out the latest hijinks of the old WT Society!

I can't say I "never" thought of myself as a reject, it was for me a natural first response to being kicked out of the organization where I had just spent the first 39 years of life.

As time has gone on, the bad feelings have cooled off. I don't dwell on being DF'd, I don't even think about it in that way, unless I am dealing with my parents or are dealing with JW's I come across in public (as does occasionally happen).

But when dealing with non-JW's or other fellow posters on this discussion board, what some elders decided to do with me almost 2 years ago is pretty much irrelevant (except for the fact that they set me free!!!).

GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Nute

Good for you Gopher .... Now I know why I avoid my mothers phone calls like the plaque.

Your the Man!

Nute

Frenchy

Different people react differently to the same situation. Some wear their da'ing or df'ing like a badge and others are troubled by it, even feel some shame. There are many factors and I believe human nature accounts for much of how one feels.

I recall an incident that happened many years ago when my children were still small. There was this child of one witness family that was very rebellious and clearly down a destructive path. Unfortunately she was the same age as one of my daughters and they became friends. They got into some mischief one day, nothing serious but certainly a stepping stone to the next level of trouble. I became aware of it before the girl's parents so I met with them and told them what happened.

The mother became very angry and, typical of a lot of parents, was clearly more disturbed over the fact that her daughter's conduct had been observed by an 'outsider' than by the conduct of the girl. She immediate told me that she did not want her daughter associating with my daughter. I was immediately relieved because those were my sentiments exactly. I didn't want my daughter with hers either and I was agonizing on how to tell her and her husband since they were 'new in the truth' I didn't want to 'stumble them.' I immediately told her I felt the same way and then she really exploded.

"Well! Are you saying my daughter is bad association! How dare you say that!"

You see she didn't mind doing the avoiding, she just didn't want anyone to do it to her even if the end result was the same. People don't want the stigma of even so much as others thinking badly of them let alone total shunning.

Gopher

Frenchy,

Thanks for that example. It proves the JW's can dish it out, but they sure can't take it! (How much happier they could be if they could only GET REAL!!)

GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Damage Control

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