GJW,
Sorry for your experience with the CO, especially the part about you not being very active at the end. They seldom pass up the chance to hit below the belt.
I guess everyone's experience is the same. I was raised a JW and still have many friends and family who are JWs. I started to question about ten years ago and when I was convinced, I lost all fear and guilty. They are powerless over me. I'd really love a shepherding call, but they haven't been by here in years, and my wife is a very active dub.
Anyway, you have no need to feel guilty about anything since you didn't do anything wrong. It may take a while longer, but it gets better. Promise.
Peace,
tj
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The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. -- Margo Kaufman