What is "being in love"?
by highdose 23 Replies latest jw friends
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Robdar
Poopsie: I think that truly being ‘in love’ is very rare. People talk about being in love with someone who doesn’t know they exist but that’s not really love, that’s infatuation sprinkled with obsession. I believe that being in love requires that the other person be in love with you. It’s acceptance of one another’s quirks, which requires knowing one another very well, and still feeling that of all the other people you know, this is the one you want to be with. This has to be mutual to be real and if it’s not, well, you’ll soon realize that what you thought was love was really something else. This is why I believe it’s so rare – for 2 people to be in sync like that doesn’t really happen that often and when it does, it’s a beautiful thing. I’ve seen it, but I can’t say that I’ve ever experienced it....Just my 2 cents..
Poopsiecakes, I like your two cents and totally agree that it takes two being in love to make it happen.
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brainwashed-from-birth
I dont think you can have true love unless you know how to forgive 100%. And forgiving 100% means you will probably be getting treated like a door mat sometimes. Grudges and deciet kill trust and then love..... and that is usually what happens in this selfish time in history.
I have always found that people love me until I decide I don't want to do or think what they want. The older I get the more I think the only one that deserves my love is my dog
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poopsiecakes
Thanks, Robdar
I also believe that our society places too high a premium on 'trust'. Trust is very important, but in my experience, trust is relative. If your version of trust means that the person you're with can never disappoint you, you're in for a lot of pain. Unfortunately, that's how too many people view it. 'you said you were going to call me and you didn't...how can I ever trust you???' that kind of stuff. I think that if you are in a loving relationship and you trust that the person you're with has no intention of hurting you, it can go a long way to keeping calm when the inevitable disappointment happens and you'll avoid saying something you'll later regret and be more open to listening - really listening - which I believe is the backbone of any relationship.
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VoidEater
There are obvious answers, but at the end of that road lies, "There are different kinds of love." English is lacking when it comes to some fo these short words we use for a range of expression: love, god, and the like.
"Being in love" might (more accurately) be languaged as, "holding the needs and desires of another as important to you as your own." Go too far from that and you have lust, possession, infatuation, or something else in the mix - all of which can lead to a satisfying, if not at times vexing, relationship.
"Love" might be translated as "Yes" in a "spiritual" sense.
Different people eroticize and/or value different subtleties of expression and experience differently, and when they achieve these in the company of another they often say they are "in love." This can be a bit of a misnomer, however, because they may be confusing a desired, satisfying state (e.g., security) with this "love."
Others will go all reductionist and equate "being in love" with lust/infatuation/desire/want/possession - all those "puppy love" things that young people are supposed to moon for. I hope we have evolved a little beyond that, or perhaps that's just the perspective of someone too old to know anything any more.
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leavingwt
Robdar,
He also thought that love was merely nature's disguise to get us to pro-create.
Gotcha! Yeah, he was onto something.
-LWT
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Robdar
LWT: Gotcha! Yeah, he was onto something.
I've thought that too, especially when I was younger. But lately I've been thinking about older people who are in love. Even though they can no longer have children, they still share the loving feelings. I think human touch and affection are necessary to our well being no matter the age of the recipient. I have concluded Schopenhauer was incorrect.
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Twitch
I dunno
But love spelled backwards is "evol"
hehe
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leec
It's a combination of sexual attraction and voluntary love that evolves into more than the sum of its parts.
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leavingwt
Robdar,
I have concluded Schopenhauer was incorrect.
I should be a little more specific. IMHO, often what people call, 'falling in love', is INFATUATION. This is the emotion that allows our species to survive. Men are willing to risk life and limb to win a woman. It defies all logic and reason.
True love/affection, etc, can certainly exist. This, IMHO, is often wildly different than infatuation, even if there is a strong physical element to it.
-LWT