I have never really shared my experience growing up as a JW, but feel it is time to share. I am 26 years old and was raised as a JW from birth. I left the JW when I was 14 by actions and 21 by a written letter, because I was baptised at the age of 11.
I left the JW because of the circumstances surronding my parents divorce. My "best friends" growing up started avoided me, because I slipped and said d***. Then the division became final when it became "public" knowledge that my father abused me sexually. Apparently, they blamed me for what happened and felt I had done something wrong. Their father said they were young (15) and needed to be shelter from such things so he felt no need to explain to them that what happened was not my fault. Mom thought I was having sex and drug me to a Gyn telling him I was sexually active - when I was not. Then she told others what she thought I was doing. During this time she became physically violent and I started realizing that several of her JW friends were violent too. One "sister" said that I was a whore when I shaved with her razor while staying at her house.
As time went on, my mom left the JW's (she was df due to smoking and becoming involved with non JW man). Then she stood by the JW teachings, but would not going to meetings and such. After this, I tried staying a JW for a while, but finally left.
The pain, hurt, trauma, and mixture of other feelings that exist is too much to talk about. I have moved on with my life. However, there are feelings of resentment I feel that are too great to explain. I am finally able to attend college full time - I have been attending part time for several years now. The funny thing is my mom is proud I am going to college - I am aiming for a MA in History and my Phd in Theology. My self esteem has finally reached normal levels over the past few years.
I worry daily about my mom, because she sticks by these teachings of false prophets on a daily basis and says she will go back when she is living her life the way Jehovah wants her to. I want her to understand the true meaning of the love of God and Jesus, but she is so brain washed by these people that it is scary.
Thanks for listening.... reading.