Hi,
nearly the same situation as You, wife is still fully in but more and more accepting That i don't give a sh**t about religion as long as i go to meetings and go from time to time in field service...so not at the breaking point yet.still it's difficult from time to time.
There is no perfect advice as all situations are different, but the first thing is to determine if You want to protect your Family (and by That i mean spouse and other relatives still in), what This Family is ready to accept or not, and what compromise are You ready to accept or not.
If you're not in the mood for compromise, then determine if You are ready to cut dry with (at least in first) the shunning conséquence.
If you do not feel ready there is nothing wrong to go along for a while...
You have to determine what's best for You...but here You Can find support and no judgement.