Separating saucer section...General Order 14. [Borg cubes inbound!--Part II]

by sd-7 63 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  VoidEater

  Like a victim of sexual abuse, the victim of clerical abuse will often blame themselves.

  And what is done to conscientious people like SD-7 is clerical abuse.

  There is a point in life where we may take ownership for our emotions, and name ourselves creator of our own life. But until then, we are all children, and children can be horribly hurt - until then we can be victimized, only able to react to the blame and guilt levelled at us.

  I hope one day SD-7 will not be dependent on another person for their own sense of truth and well-being; that they will not have to hide in their own mind.

  Until then, we only can watch these vipers, these experts in manipulation.

  Carry on my wayward son
  There'll be peace when you are done
  Lay your weary head to rest
  Don't you cry no more
• 

  sd-7

  Perhaps so, VoidEater. Perhaps so. I didn't actually think this sort of situation would be happening to me. It's like a bad dream. So quickly, the joy that my wife and I shared in life is...

  She's a good woman. It isn't fair that anonymous, untouchable individuals should be able to have this kind of control over people. I can't let them win.

  ... Having a few emotions to deal with right now. Going to have to step back.

  SD-7
• 

  agonus

  You know, sd-7, sometimes it's OK to let the "enemy" (I hate to use that word since no man is really my enemy, but that's what others have made themselves out to be) "win". Once the enemy has "won", it is much easier to see, for both sides, what an empty "victory" it turns out to be. Remember, losing the battle isn't the same as losing the war. Your spouse/loved one/friend may "win" the battle and have that smug JW sense of victory but I can guarantee that deep down they sure as shit ain't truly happy about it.
• 

  agonus

  And yes, it is like a bad dream. For me it's like a bizarre movie that somebody else is directing. You have to keep reminding yourself that the reason it feels like "nothing is real" is because that's exactly the case. The WT-created false reality/imaginary "spiritual paradise" is a very skillful fake. And I'm sure your wife is a good woman. I'm sure mine is too. But they are being controlled by men who don't give two shits about you. It isn't your fault.
• 

  sd-7

  You dropped some pretty serious wisdom, agonus. I'll have to remember that.

  SD-7
• 

  choosing life

  SD-7, you made me cry. I really hate the insanity of the false, but very real control that this religion can exercise over people's lives. You don't need to be a hero, you just need to be you.
• 

  HappyGuy

  I know what I would do. I would confront the "elders" and tell them in no uncertain terms, and trust me they would believe me, that if they usurped my headship one more time, if they caused my wife angst by their lies one more time, that I would make it a personal matter and there would be no place they could go to be safe from me, and they need not call my wife or my home again or visit them again or they would really not like what happened.
• 

  sd-7

  You don't need to be a hero, you just need to be you.

  That's what makes this so hard. I used to think I was a hero. That all JWs were heroes. You wake up one day and find that you were working for villains, and the whole world goes mad. I lost the one thing that was most precious to me, my moral integrity. I traded that away because I was lost.

  I was born in this religion, more or less. I don't even know who I am. That part of me I was trying to destroy all those years, that very well may have been my true nature, seen through WT lenses. So I already tried to kill myself, thinking I was doing a service to God. (I did actually try it literally 12 years ago, almost to the day.) So...it gets complicated.

  SD-7
• 

  sd-7

  I would confront the "elders" and tell them in no uncertain terms, and trust me they would believe me, that if they usurped my headship one more time, if they caused my wife angst by their lies one more time, that I would make it a personal matter and there would be no place they could go to be safe from me, and they need not call my wife or my home again or visit them again or they would really not like what happened.

  Interesting, HappyGuy. But I hardly think they would take such a statement seriously, coming from a 5'3", 135 pound man with barely enough strength to carry a 40-pound baby from the store to the car. Perhaps your physicality dwarfs mine by a considerable measure.

  Perhaps the training has taught me not to be angry or aggressive, but I genuinely fear that side of myself. If that switch finally got tripped, under the wrong circumstances...and these ARE the wrong circumstances...some very seriously bad things could happen to people who themselves are just tools of a larger entity. But I get what you're saying.

  SD-7
• 

  HappyGuy

  sd

  I was shot in the back in the first gulf war and could not walk for a long time. Being immobile for so long made me gain a lot of weight. I dont' look "tough", well, my persona tells you otherwise in the right circumstances. I wouldn't care what I had to do to make the "elders" beleive me when I told them to stay out of my family's affairs, whatever I had to bring to the party I would bring. But they would believe me.

  I think you are way beyond letting some notion of morality keep you from being angry or aggressive. Your family is at stake, you are obligated to fight for your family. I don't give a shit what the WTBTS says about the elders and their role in your life, their "headship" over you or their being "appointed" by holy spirit. Fuck the WTBTS and fuck the elders.

  Angry isn't even the right word. You aren't angry. You get angry if you have to wait too long in the checkout lane, or if someone goes ahead of you when you are in line. You get angry if the bank makes a mistake on your bank statement. But in this situation some lying assholes are trying to DESTROY YOUR LIFE and take your wife away from you. Angry? I would be so far beyond angry that word would have no meaning.

  I'm not trying to sound cruel but you need to take a deep breath, stand up straight, and stand up to these assholes and save your family and protect your wife.