Terrible story Cantleave, and a credit to you that you have managed to move on and are able to give your kids a totally different life, well done. I have witnessed many uncomfortable moments in the ladies toilets at the Kingdom Hall where very young kids were subjected to beatings for the terrible 'sin' of not sitting quietly (usually they were very tired, grouchy and should have been in their bed). What will happen if/when smacking becomes illegal in the UK as is proposed - who will police the JWs?
my mum taught us very valuable lessons about Jehovah in her special way. Any other parents out there as psycho?
by God Chick 49 Replies latest jw friends
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recovering
Wow so much of this brings back terrible memories for me. The witnesses have so much to answer for . they use the scripture about sparing the rod to justify child abuse.
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designs
People taking Solomon's words literally...........yikes. Some cultures are more physically violent with their children than others.
I was in a congregation that had parents who would use wooden spoons and belts and electrical cords on their kids. They'd bring their weapons to the KH. It was so culturally ingrained it never dawned on them that they were committing a Felony.
I turned one of my Service Meeting parts into a lecture on Felony Child Abuse. It toned things down for awhile. The thought that Child Protective Services would come and take their children had some sobering effect.
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Robdar
You mother was crazy and her spiritual counterpart, my dad, was crazy too.
I can remember licking my wounds after a severe beating and wondering if my life was normal or messed up. I wondered if I was alone and I would pray for my deliverance and for all the others who may be suffering too.
And now, here we are. We are on this forum doing the best we can to heal ourselves. I thought that I had finally become free but I still am enslaved. I know I am enslaved because I am sitting here crying for the child you were, for the child I was.
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designs
Rob, you are free, every day from now on is a step away from all of that horror. You and the others here are a great asset. You share your story and you just never know how much good it does. And it does good, you can be sure of that.
What does it say in the Book of Amos that Martin Luther King quoted, something about- justice rolling like a river.
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Robdar
(((((designs))))) Thank you. I really needed to hear your wisdom.
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ILTSF
I'm sorry God Chick. I didn't go through anything like that as a child, but I feel for you. How terrible :(
It is funny (funny ironic, definitely not "funny haha") the way JW parents try to teach certain lessons with something totally irrevelant.
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ILTSF
*irrelevant, I couldn't find a way to edit it.
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Heaven
God Chick... I am very sorry you had to suffer from abuse in your childhood. I think your story will help those who also suffer. It is another example of how people twist the Bible and their beliefs to justify any action. The other sad part of this is that your mother needed help and never received it. So much for Jehovah's Witnesses being the most loving people on Earth.
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nugget
I was lucky my mum was strict but in the same way as most parents in the 70's were strict. Most of my friends were smacked using a slipper or a wooden spoon since you can't get a good enough impact with a hand. However this was done in the home, in private and certainly not at meetings. I was obviously extremely lucky but didn't think so at the time.
Cantleave is very hard on himself. The kids call him grumpy git but certainly aren't in mortal fear of him. Yes he was bad as an elder espeacially early on but far from a hopeless case. Since discovering the society is a steaming pile of manure he has worked really hard on understanding his children to listening to them and not blowing his top. Every now and then we warn him if we think he is behaving like his mother.
Any form of conditioning is deep and damaging and the danger that the abused becomes the abuser is a real one. Cantleaves Mother was abused by her mother, she abused her sons and her sons were in danger of doing the same.
Until he had the children he was pretty much in control but as soon as the children arrived it was as if a switch went on in his head and the old pattern kicked in. When I spoke to my SIL it turned out that his brother was just the same.
At least we have broken the cycle here but know from experience that it takes time and distance from the enablers of abuse to make it work.