Have you Been Shunned Even Though Just Considered " Inactive " ? (page 3)

ColdRedRain

I was never baptized so I cannot be considered "inactive". I pretty much didn't want to disobey some stupid esoteric JW law and lose all of my friends and family and I didn't get baptized, so I'm not considered an "evil associate" yet. Pretty much, I only talk to witnesses in my area that are either out or disfellowshipped. A few still drink the flavorade and after I pretty much blow away their lifetime perceptions of their childhood religion by showing them the U.N. documents, altered Watchtowers or embarrassing quotes on my palm pilot or laptop proving them otherwise, they tell me not to talk to them anymore, at least the hardcore flavorade drinkers. Those that usually do drink the flavorade probably have some sort of bipolar disorder or are REALLY effing stupid, the smart ones realize that they're in a cult. But then again, few witnesses are genuinely smart, so most of them believe their lying eyes rather than the facts.

A few who are still in try to lovebomb me back into the cult, but soon realize that I don't want back in and ignore me. Some of the elders that know that I know where all the bodies are buried treat me like I'm posessed by the devil. Other than that, they're all douchebags, especially my family. It's like they've drank the flavorade and have some sort of prideful, psychotic arrogance about it. You should have pretty much seen the look on their faces when I told them that the WT was once part of the U.N. They looked like angry villiagers out to burn a witch.

highdose

i moved cong and found that the privous cong decided that i must have fallen away. Cue evil eye looks and shunning in the super market

Balsam

I'm going to speak to this on the basis of how I felt when I was an active witness.

I resented inactive ones showing up at the KH after being gone for years living their life any old way they wanted and no door to door work. They would show up everyone talking to them asking how they were doing. I know it was small and petty of me but I felt like the prodical son's big brother. It pissed me off.

I suspect now that I have been out for a while that a good many of the JW feel the same way. I can remember thinking to myself these folks just come prancing in all friendly thinking they are witnesses because their baptized but they aren't. I don't imagine I am the only one who had such thought running through my head. That is probably why they sort of shun inactive ones. The active ones are out there busting their butts and the inactive ones are still hanging on the fringles not disfellowshipped. The WTS incourages this kind of division among witness to keep the active ones serving, imaging they are more favored by god. Of course now it seems all like baloney which is exactly what it is. Traditional churches don't do that to their people who have not attended in a while they genuinely welcome them back because there no me and them attitude.

Ruth Baker

deep-blue-sea

I am inactive since 5 years. My husband has dissociated. Elders doesn't show up...that's ok for me. I rarely meet sisters in town.

I had contacts with two sisters (who were showing an open mind) by e-mail and MSN. Since my husband get dissociated THEY DO NO SHOW UP ANYMORE on the internet!!!

So for JW, fading = dissociation!!!!!

Regards, Claudia

TardNFeatheredJW

Inactive since 1993. Shunned by my Mother and sisters since 1993. My mother started talking to me after a year. But its strained.

Other dubs have mostly shunned me, however I have a very good response from one man who is the father of one of my best friends. My buddy is DF, but his dad *was* an elder (he stepped down). His dad and mom always are happy to see me, smiling, and hugs, the whole nine yards. I consider them true christians. I would suggest that its due to the fact that their son and are were tight since 8 yrs old, but i doubt that has anything to do with it. I think they are just genuinely nice people.

My sisters have never once asked how my children are, spoken to my children, asked for a picture of my children, returned a phone call, or shown any sort of common courtesy. Their husbands are the same way. My sisters put off having children until the new system.

My mother is very negative. Always some critical point of view, has made comments on how wonderful the jw children are contrasted to my children. She doesn't view my step children as family at all. She is one fucked up regular pioneer. My last visit with her (actually, she doesn't call or visit, I call and visit her) she spent about 5 minutes at the beginning of the visit telling me how bad an example I am (I smoke) and how she worries for my children and believes that we are all doomed.

On the other hand, she's the one who took a handful of pills right before thanksgiving. Both my sisters have attempted suicide at least once (i'm not in "the loop" so there may be more than one occasion). My oldest sister has cheated on her hubby at least once, been knocked up by some other guy, and has been checked into rehab at least once.

Am I missing anything by not having that clean, wholesome, upbuilding association? I think not. I shall continue my bad habits, sleep in on sundays, teach my children not to judge based on looks, but to treat everyone by the golden rule.

F the Society!

breathing

faded over 10 years ago, get the pitying, "we love you and we will only show that love to you again if you come back home" looks when i see the jws i grew up calling auntie and uncle, and the frightened strange looks from old friends, like ive got some strange disease,

but yes, no longer get invited to anything, no weddings, anniversaries etc etc,

yet i get accused of being the one who has changed, who has left,

sickening and just stinks but helps me see just why i left,

crapola

Actually, I've not been shunned in the sense that they won't speak to me. In fact when I run into anyone at the grocery store I'm hugged and they say they miss me. But no one ever calls or tries to find out why I stopped going. And the person that used to be my best friend, well I've not talked to her in about 2 years. You would think that someone that used be be considered a good friend would try and find out what is wrong. Oh well, such is life.

Dagney

Actually, I've not been shunned in the sense that they won't speak to me. In fact when I run into anyone at the grocery store I'm hugged and they say they miss me. But no one ever calls or tries to find out why I stopped going. And the person that used to be my best friend, well I've not talked to her in about 2 years. You would think that someone that used be be considered a good friend would try and find out what is wrong. Oh well, such is life.

My nonJW friend pointed out to me after I told him I lost 99.9% of all the people I knew when I left, they don't want to talk to us because they don't want anything to affect their faith. So ultimately it is a "blessing" when they leave us alone rather than having to go through all the confrontations. At least that is how I feel now. BUT, my JW gf was amazed how I was just dropped by all out other friends.

There are a handful of people that have kept in touch with me. I never contact them, except my best friend. After my mom's death last month my brother (PO/elder) and I had THE big talk. He now says he wants to keep the lines of communication open, after virtually zero contact for years unless it was absolutely necessary (our mom). I just will go one doing what I have been doing all these years, living my own life.

finding my way

My Brothers are both inactive and live with their girlfriends and at least one of them smokes pot regularly. Only the one that smokes is shunned by 1 of my 4 sisters. The other 3 and all their husbands still associate with them and have them on their facebooks.

I on the other hand.. am disfellowshipped and am married, don't do drugs or overdrink am shunned because I've been DF'd. Not that I wish the same upon my brothers but it does bother me that they are "okay" with my brothers and not me just because of a title.

~fmw

wha happened?

I have been to some degree. Ironically not by family

Have you Been Shunned Even Though Just Considered " Inactive " ?

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