Connie,
Thank you for telling your story,I'm sure that it was hard to write everything down but I appreciate and applaud your efforts .
My experience with the JW's and more...I'll try to make it short.
by ConnieD29 19 Replies latest jw experiences
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nelly136
nice to meet you.
sometimes its easier to get carried on a wave rather than fight the tide, you never know, perhaps hubby was being washed along with the enthusiasm just a little as well. heres hoping you dont have to put on for apearances anymore.
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FuzzyPaul
Dear ConnieD29,
Welcome, telling your story is cathartic - good for the soul. I wonder if your experience in the Watchtower caused the , pardon this, mental imbalance. I hope it is agreeable that I meant that respectfully. You said :
"so being the "good Christian girl" I had to marry him because we had sex.....stupid"
and that after being raped. Michelle, a really good friend of mine I knew from quick-builds started dating George. Three months later they were getting married because she had to set a good example to the younger ones. Next quick-build year after getting married she was severely changed for the worse. She told me she had never been so un-happy and looked it. Totally trashed emotionally. The part of trying to be something that makes one seem "Good" is the issue. Yesterday I posted that the Watchtower focuses on visible results.
The Church I attend (I was a JW for 45 years) is "come as you are". The JWs would have a field day with video of us. Sunday night 6pm I have seen people look like they just got back from the beach and had put a cover-up on. BUT they were there, worshiped, learned, loved. I could not imagine going to another church, they are so like family that I call them that. Many do dress-up but it doesn’t matter here.
Worship to me is the part of the service where we tell God we love him, singing, response, prayer. The pastor's message is God telling us of his love for us. As a JW I thought the idea of Christian worship was confused, its not, its free. I can ask to sing a song on stage, one from current Christian radio or a 250 year old hymn. We propose Discipleship classes, various activities, its our church. The Church is us.
Pastor Greg was raised a PK (pastors kid) and did all the Church ministries. Then one day an older fellow asked him if he had a personal relationship with JESUS. Whoa. He stopped everything and re-evaluated. Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship. A relationship based on love, not judgment, rule lists, technicalities, you know a check list . Folks here are very prayer oriented, decent, honorable, spiritual. We have rules we just don’t pull out yardsticks. Some of my friends can’t become deacons because they had divorced and were remarried. That is one of Apostle Paul’s rules, we live it but nobody has a stack of dossiers in a file cabinet on everyone. The WT does that.
Free your conscience, you knew that the partiers were up to no good and your mention of it meant it was an issue. You weren’t comfortable being worldly. I am glad, you are desirous of being a decent person. Partiers are competitive with how they score on the party hardy scale. JW’s have a “theocratic behavior” competition. Placements, hours, what talk level one is doing.
Being free and being a partner with Jesus, pleasing to him is a relationship. God love you, and blessings.
Fuzzy Paul
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ConnieD29
Hey Paul,
I appreciate your insight. It sounds like you are in a place where you feel very comfortable and happy. That is wonderful!
The church we were last involved with was started by 4 couples, us included, that broke away from another church. The husbands felt like the church was being ran more like a corporation than a church so we left and it wasn't really on the best of terms. I lost some friends and wasn't really happy about that.
So in the new church, the focus was more like being family, helping each other, being there for one another. We were there for 5 yrs. It is very hard for me to open up to people and I was finally getting to the point I was getting close to the people in the church. Well my husband thought he heard the voice of God and told the pastor some things that made it impossible for us to stay. So we left and again lost some friends.
So I guess it seems like I've had alot of rejection....parents kicked me out of the house for studying with JWs, disfellowshipped from the JW's, divorce from a man that said he never loved me, then the 2 instances above.
So I guess I put walls up so that I don't have to go thru the pain of rejection. I think that is part of the reason I'm not ready to get involved with another church.
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AWAKE&WATCHING
Well you guys know me well enough to know that this is another shameless BTTT.
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looloo
welcome
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snowbird
Welcome, Connie.
Thanks for sharing your story.
So you "studied" with A&W?
Did she bribe you with root beer?
Tee hee hee.
*just a little inside joke that we share*
Sylvia
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ConnieD29
Cute snowbird:)
There was no bribing going on.
She's shameless remember?!
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keeshondgirl
Connie,
I was 17/18 when i started studying with the witnesses. I was young and naive. I wanted to belong somewhere. I was just a typical teenager unsure what to do with life and the witnesses seemed like they knew everything I asked them. My family was against it as well and would not talk to me. I was told it is persecution and thats how you know its the truth. Sounded neat that I was part of something 'big' but inside I felt empty and lonely. I was in the religion for 5 years. I hid my own feelings from my husband about the religion (we were baptized at the same time) and he did from me as well. We eventually told eachother everything how we felt and miraculously we both wanted out. I now know to always be open with my husband and myself. You can never make everyone happy, I tried as well. Make your self happy, thats what counts.
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jamiebowers
Thanks for your story. Whether a person is in for 3 years or 100, it's still a damaging cult.