Wife love-bombed...HELP ME!

by Mad Sweeney 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Mad Sweeney

  I thought the fade was speeding up and there was light on the horizon for me and my family. Then yesterday my wife gets love-bombed and is ready to go back to the dubs. I'm angry, cynical, depressed, disillusioned, you name it.

  I don't know what to do for her. I want to respect her freedom but I don't want her to stay stuck in the cult and I don't want to leave without her except as a last resort.

  It is probably just going to take time for the fade to work out but I can't take this back and forth business. I feel like just telling them to shove it and to hell with the part of my family who will shun me. Talk me off the ledge someone. Please.
• 

  Witness 007

  My best friend returned after love bombing....he now see's that they all missed him and love him heaps! Mormons Scientologists, they all do the same thing.
• 

  blondie

  But how long will that last. When my husband studied he had a lot of attention but then he was baptized and they dropped him like a hot potato.

  What has been their behavior in the past? Do they stick through thick and thin? Once she is back will they be onto the next "saved" one?

  Matthew 5:46,47.

  46

  For if YOU love those loving YOU, what reward do YOU have? Are not also the tax collectors doing the same thing? 47 And if YOU greet YOUR brothers only, what extraordinary thing are YOU doing? Are not also the people of the nations doing the same thing?
• 

  Mad Sweeney

  Thanks for the comments so far. I'm starting to feel like I'm just not cut out for fading. The temptation to quit them all cold turkey is building fast. How did you long-time faders get through the first year without going completely bonkers?
• 

  leavingwt

  I'm left to assume that your wife has not deconstructed the WT experience. Is this correct?

  Will she read things? If so, I would like to recommend the following book. . .

  Awakening of Jehovah's Witness by Diane Wilson

  http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Jehovahs-Witness-Watchtower-Society/dp/1573929425

  This is not dry, tedious review of doctrine or Scripture. It's one woman's personal experience, told in a heartfelt and informative manner. I really enjoyed it.

  -LWT
• 

  Mad Sweeney

  She's willing to listen to information if it comes through me, but she's not an analyzer, she's emotionally driven. She can get pissed off at someone and skip meetings for a month or more but then when she gets a love-bomb like yesterday, she's ready to go back to her friends. Also, she's a typical black&white JW thinker. "I can't accept atheism so I have to go back to the Kingdom Hall," sort of reasoning. There is no in between at this point with her. It's ok to be mad at the "friends" or even to disagree with several points of doctrine, but it is still "the truth."

  Frustrating.

  Thanks for the book recommendation. She's not a big reader (exactly the type the dubs love), but maybe she'll read it with me.
• 

  crapola

  My main problem was my mother in the first year. We both cried alot. Her, because she is convinced that I'm going to die soon, me, because for one I hate hurting her and I just cannot stand the thought of going back. So I did'nt and it has gotten better. I finally told her I just did'nt want to talk to her about it anymore.
• 

  leavingwt

  Thanks for the book recommendation. She's not a big reader (exactly the type the dubs love), but maybe she'll read it with me.

  Four people have read this book, as a result of me recommending it, so they tell me. They've said that they thoroughly enjoyed it. I hope you do, too.
• 

  Michelle365

  That sucks Mad Sweeney! I can totally empathize on feeling like something is so close and then having it snatched away. I hope that your wife does wake up soon and that if not it's not detrimental to your marriage.
• 

  truthseekeriam

  Don't get too stressed yet. The love bombing wears off after going to a few meeting and something or someone will piss her off again and she'll stop going again.

  I know for us, we tried the fade but ended up just stop going completely about 8 months ago. We get the urge sometimes to go to a meeting after running into some of the nicer ones we miss. Then sure enough will run into someone who once again reminds us why we never want to set foot in the KH again. It's a tough situation to be in, I know:( It's gets pretty lonely when your starting all over.

  I've had the same conversations with my mother through tears. I just try to tell her that I'm sorry she hurts because she feels that if the big "A" comes next week we will be destroyed, but I just don't feel that way anymore. I then tell her how much I love Jehovah and Jesus and how I know they see our hearts and I'm completely okay with that. It usually calms her down enough to say that it's true that Jehovah reads our hearts and she knows we have a good reason for not trusting the elders anymore. We too agreed not to talk about spiritual matters anymore because it just gets us both upset.

  I hope all goes well with your family and please know that you are not alone in what you are going through.