I have a serious problem (page 10)

Oubliette

MNIONC = My Name is of No Consequence

I made up the acronym on page 3 because his JWN username is too long to type.

Giordano

Ok I am confused he started this as My Name is of No Consequence asking for help then gave himself advice under the name of Mnionc?

I'm glad it's martini time. I'll check back later.

Gio

Chris Hannover

The second post is letting her know that she and the elder are stumbling him. The Bible who she claims to follow directs wives to be in subjection regardless if the husband believes or not

I was just referring to the second post.

She has already bypassed the headship arrangement with the assistance of the elders. The elders would not bypass his headship and consult directly and privately with the wife without a reason, real or imagined. For whatever reason, Myname is viewed as spirituality unqualified at best and apostate at worst. This means he has no headship authority in the eyes of the congregation.

At this point, telling her to be submissive or he will be stumbled would cause more problems, since it will be viewed as a threat to her spirituality.

She follows the Bible in theory, but in reality, she is following the elders in the congregation. Since the elders are already on her side with an unknown agenda, using force right now would be a mistake.

For these reasons, even a hint of a perceived threat to her or a power play against the elders would have serious repercussions on Myname. Force by Myname would play into the elder's plans right now.

Anyway, for what its worth, thats my thought process. The only thing that matters is the elders get their way and when a woman is playing a the helpless victim card, emotions can get high against the perceived threat.

Freesoul

Sorry to hear this is happening to you, the JW's believe they can lie to you and disrespect you, it's called "theocratic warfare".

You have to use "theocratic warfare" back on them, You know they lie to you, that should make it OK to lie back to them. This may means you need to choose your words carefully, if your are asked any questions about the organisation do not admit to anything you are feeling, you say you have been too busy or sick.

I believe your best bet is to say the only person your son can study with is your wife. No other person in the congregation should be able to have access to your son, this goes against bible principles as you are the head of your family.

Make sure you spend as much time with your family as possible and show your wife and son plenty of attention, love and caring, they will not find this at JW meetings. (the only thing they get from meetings is fear and guilt).

Go on family outings, camping in the country side with them and involve your son's friends. Try and get your son involved with team sports as well.

Your son is still young and I am sure you can get him out by asking him questions that will question his faith. It will be too late if he gets baptised.

Keep you head up and try to keep happy, balanced and calm, this will really confuse them.

Take care, I hope it all works out for you.

3rdgen

Chris H, I see your point. Playing the victim card can be VERY effective, especially if she is attractive. She will have the elders backing if she is able to sell the idea that he is endangering her "spirituality". This, in turn, could be part of a plan to separate and remain in "good standing".

We don't have all of the facts either. MNIONC didn't even tell us that it is his stepson, yet that fact is relevant. I like what Freesoul said too.

Crazyguy

Fuc& all this advice and just go and talk to your son. Tell him some ttatt and why you are where u are. Use the blood doctrine changes or some other basic reason for your falling away. Kids are pretty astute and can see more then you think. I think he will get it and if not now with more seeds planted he will.

GLTirebiter

Teen-age step son. Has a car. Does he have any "worldly" friends who could be a good influence on him? Spending time outside the JW cloister could do him a lot of good. Support him when he wants to do this!

OnTheWayOut

Hey, thanks for your compliments to me personally. I would love to tell you something that will help you get your wife and son out. Truth is that I can't get my wife out. But I have stood up to the elders, and yes- I do recognize it was easier because I used to be one of them. I just wanted you to take actions since you were asking what you should do.

I am meeting with him this weekend and I will tell him how I feel about him "taking over". I will be respectful like I usually am, but firm. After that, everything having to do with the organization, my son and him will go through me. If this doesn't work, I will go up the food chain. I am tired of being the doormat in my own house and it has to stop.

That's great. Be firm. Really consider telling him that because of his making a financial arrangement with your wife and avoiding you, you would prefer that any studying with the boy comes from you and/or your wife and that he limits any contact with your wife and that such should go through you. Tell him you are the head of your household and will act as such. I wish you well on your event.

AudeSapere

@MNIONC - When you say 'family'... Are you referring to your wife and child or are you referring to extended family and lifelong friends.

It is not clear from your comments which relationship(s) you are trying to hold on to.

-Aude.

My Name is of No Consequence

@ 3rdgen

MNIONC didn't even tell us that it is his stepson, yet that fact is relevant.

I did state this fact.

I have a serious problem

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