***URGENT Advice Needed*** (page 2)

zzaphod

Hope all goes well with your surgery,and you`re up and about quickly. The Doctors know what`s best, (they do surgery all the time), not some Dub.

You`ll be fine I`m sure.

Love &

All the best

Paul UK

kurtbethel

I figure, no need for doctors to use mops and squeegees, and elders need to refrain from practicing medicine.

The double standard has been revealed by the bloodless surgery unit which is sad but in another way it means that your parents can't pressure you to take their preferred option. It also reveals to them the inhumanity of DFing.

The advice you have been given is spot on particularly about making sure your wishes are known and that someone is appointed to enforce them for you. Take all the support you need from those around you who are truly helping. The other thing I would say is ask the hospital to restrict visitors to those who will provide unquestioned support, the last thing you need after surgery is people visiting to criticise your decisions.

This is one of those times in life when you need to think about you and what is best for you.

Heaven

Hi babygirl30... I hope your surgery goes well and that you have a speedy recovery. When you feel up to it, please let us know how you are doing.

I have my non-JW brother as my primary contact should something happen to me. I definitely do NOT carry a blood card. I do not want my father (an MS) involved in any decisions regarding medical procedures for me. With his age and mental condition, I don't think he is really up to it anymore anyways, but since he is also in the cult, that's 2 strikes against him for being able to make any informed choices.

VIII

babygirl, good luck with your surgery. I know how stressful that can be. Hugs.

One more thing to think about is confidentiality. The Elder who is in charge of the bloodless unit has ZERO right to know anything about your medical history or anything about what you are having done. ZERO. I can't stress that enough. They are blood free but blood thristy if that makes sense. They want to know the tinest detail to use against you. Don't let the bastards into your life.

You need to seriously think about the forms you fill out when you get to the hospital. You will be asked to put down someone who will be called in an emergency, who will be next of kin, who will be the person who will make a decision if you can't, etc. You have to decide who you want to make these decisions for you. They could be life and death. You know that.

Do you want your Mom and Dad to? Or, is there someone else you feel you can trust with your life? That is what it comes down to.

Your parents will follow the C-U-L-T.

Your friend, boyfriend, sister, etc., will do what you have agreed to, if you feel you can trust them.

I haven't put my Mom down on a list as a person to call in decades. I know she would say "No blood." I know I would die. I can't trust her with my life. That is the sad reality.

Again, best wishes on your surgery and with your recovery. I am sure it will go well and you'll be fine.

yknot

Yes POA with non-JW is good thing!

Hmmm....... when it comes to the WTS and family..... it is warfare!

If you want to keep contact with your family.....do so by any means you find acceptable!

While you have chosen wisely to accept blood should you need it, your medical records are confidential!

Like all patients you would hope to avoid a transfusion and it is perfectly acceptable to tell your family thusly allowing them to assume whatever they imagine (bloodless request). Make a point to tell your doctor/hosp. staff that your parents/siblings have no POA and that your medical records/procedures are not to be discussed in detail beyond assurances that all has gone well and are in the recovery rooms! Explain JWism and strong need for privacy. Make a point to have a notarized letter stating you accept any means necessary to save your life in your hospital file regarding this procedure and all future procedures.

Your mom is not doing anything not normal for the WTS mentality in suggesting HLC. I am glad her motherly concern was rejected by this HLC coordinator, it is an opening later on about the WTS's lack of compassion in 'emergency' circumstances......perhaps compare it to offering food/water to a starving/dehydrated DFd child.....parallel good Samaritan.

It is important for you to feel at ease and good about this surgery! Spend time doing things that boost your spirits!

Accept love from those who offer without hesitation and let the WTS be damned!

Please have your BF keep us all posted on your surgery's success!

Sending you hugs, prayers and good vibes .........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mad Sweeney

Ditto to all the good advice and encouragement given so far.

If you trust your current set of doctors, go to the hospital THEY recommend, nowhere else. Tell your parents you informed them because you thought they should know, not because you were seeking their medical advice. And definitely give a legal power of attorney to someone you can trust to save your life rather than let you die over a misinterpretation of a Bible verse.

Hope to see you here and healthy in the weeks to come. We're with you!

Gayle

It's only natural that you would reach out to your mom at this time. With such things, you should be able to reach out for your mom. You need emotional support at this time. However, you need to have people around you that will give you 'unconditional' support. Unfortunately, your mom and dad can only give limited 'conditional' support because of their cultism. You don't need that kind now. Maybe you could request your parents to come visit 'after' your surgery, not before?

Best wishes on your surgery tomorrow. I think before surgeries, there is a consent form for you to sign, just normal paperwork, regarding possibility of blood transfusion. My husband signed one before his surgery a couple years ago, of which no transfusion was needed anyway.

kitten whiskers

Congratulations on finding a doctor you trust and who respects you enough to tell you what to expect!

I am so glad you are able to take care of whatever problem it is that ails you! I am also glad you have a network of people to help you physically and emotionally that are not in a JW mindset and will support you in taking care of your health and your life!

One of the things my husband does, now that we have left, is give blood when he can. (They also use him to get something extra, I can't remember what it is, but it is something that is a little harder to give/get). He is proud that he is helping someone. Remember that. People have given blood for it to be there for all of us! Anyone of us at anytime might face a critical moment where that gift can save us!

Those who have given blood do it out of love! There is so much they go through to make it available! It's done willingly and in hopes of helping you! They eat right so they can give that day. They make an appointment to do so. They wait in line for an hour sometimes. They sit for a half hour or so to give the blood, and wait afterwards to recouperate a bit before they leave.For all of this, they get a sticker that says to the effect, "I helped save a life today." They leave feeling physically weak, but spiritually and emotionally high! They have done something great for their fellow man! It is a gift...offered before asked for. Given willingly and in love for someone they don't know. Don't let anyone tell you that is something to despise! Even the JW's who make use of the option for blood fractions need these selfless individuals who donate! JW's don't donate and yet they will take fractions! Don't let the twisted thinking of the religion bog you down at this time where you need to rest and prepare.

Take today to calm yourself and go in tomorrow refreshed and ready! Watch some comedy to get you laughing and in a hearty mood! Sing long and loud as you go for a drive today! Get those strong emotions a way to release themselves in a happy way!

I understand your fear! I cried silent crocodile tears when my doctor told me I had to go in for an operation. It really wasn't as major as some operations are, but it scared the daylights out of me! I went out and took a life insurance policy out to make sure there'd be something for my family if something went wrong. My doctor kept telling me it would be fine and she was right. Listen to the wisdom of your doctor and trust his/her hands.

Know that we will be thinking about you and sending good thoughts and for those of who pray, prayers your way! Please come back and tell us how you are once you are back on your feet and feeling better. (A post from your laptop while you recouperate and surf the internet would be welcome too! Just make sure you follow doctors orders! Rest well and enjoy the help of your friends and family! Let them pamper you while you recover!)

Scully

You're an adult, right?

You don't need your parents' approval or permission to do what you want to do, or make the choices you know to be right for you.

You don't need to inform anyone of anything. When the clerk in the admissions department at the hospital asks you if you have any religious affiliation, say NO. This will prevent any Elders™ who have privileges as visiting Pastoral Care workers from looking you up in the computer or of your name showing up on a list of JW patients. If you're not on their list, they can't visit you. Tell your nurse that you do not want ANY visitors that you have not specifically named. Give them a list of the people who can visit and/or phone you: your boyfriend, your best girlfriend, etc. They will keep your own grandmother out if you don't want her there.

URGENT Advice Needed