by Quillsky 63 Replies latest jw friends
HI Billy thanks for the welcome.
Now I am gay, I find 'maleness' very attractive.
However, as much as I find a cute male butt a turn on, rather than the wide 'child bearing' hips of a female, the 'poop shoot' stuff is still revolting to me & I would avoid it like the plague if I was actively gay.
But that's just my version of being gay I guess.
It takes all sorts.
Hi HOAB
Your version isn't as unique as you might think :)
It does take all sorts to make the world.
@OM - what a curious choice of vegetable to illustrate gay prejudice LOL :)
Hi Gromski.
I guess we are like straight people in that just because they're straight it doesn't mean they all do the same 'thing' or like the same 'thing'.
Exactly! Unfortunately it is sometimes in our natures to stereotype :)
bulgogiboy: "I don't feel particularly comfortable at the thought of people of the same sex having sex with each other"
Sometimes, I'm not particularly comfortable at the thought of people of the opposite sex having sex with each other.
Exhibit A:
If they're happy with each other, I'm happy for them. Whatever happens in private is for the two of them and won't be visualized by me.
Gromitsk: I appreciate you taking the time to write such a long and eloquent answer to my post. I didn't mean any offence in what I wrote, and don't worry I would never quote the Bible in matters of 'morality', considering it's a book which advocates genocide, child rape, etc. I think the Bible is a hideous book, responsible for a vast amount of suffering throughout history.
Anyway, I think you make lots of excellent points, and because I don't feel strongly enough about homosexuality either way, I'm just going to reiterate what I wrote at the beginning of my initial post, which is "[live] whatever life you want to" and I mean that in all sincerity . I would never deny anyone the right to whichever lifestyle they choose (assuming everyone involved is of legal age and consenting), and when it comes to sex my attitude is live and let live. I've had several gay co-workers in the past, got on fine with them, and it was never an issue. I didn't think any less of them because they were gay. And I know for the vast majority of gay men it's not their choice to be attracted to other men, that's just the way they are inclined, I understand that.
I only said that I don't feel 'particularly comfortable' with people of the same sex having sex, I didn't say I opposed it or found it revolting. I don't. But I don't have to feel completely comfortable with every kind of sexual activity that goes on on earth, do I? I mean, I'm not obligated am I? Some men like to have their penises rubbed with cheesegraters, or have their testicles beaten black and blue, the thought of that makes me very uncomfortable , but I wouldn't deny people the right to do that in private, if that's what they choose to do. When it comes to feeling ill at ease about certain behaviour in our fellow humans, sometimes we just have gut feelings that we can't deny. Don't get me wrong, I have no time for malicious and extroverted homophobia, my discomfort is a much milder feeling.
Billy the ex-Bethelite: There was no need for you to delve into your family photo album to illustrate your point
Absolutely no offence taken on my part kiddo. - and thanks for your compliment.
The point is, although the organization may teach that celibate homosexuals should be treated as spiritual brothers and sisters does not mean that they are treated this way. In my own experience, I have heard the word "faggot" out of the mouth of an elder's wife (who is also my mother) and the comment, "I would kill my kid if I found out he was gay," from a dear personal [former] JW friend. The x-factor of "celibacy" seemed irrelevant to their thoughts on homosexuality in general.
In the collective JW mind, the word "homosexual" is filed into the same mental compartment as pedophiles, murderers, sodomiites, and satanists. Did I forget anyone? To say that Jehovah's Witnesses are capable (as a group) of making the differentiation between "celibate" and "sexually active" homosexuals and then acting kindly towards the celibate ones is to (sorry) give them too much credit! When I was disfellowshipped for sexual misconduct a few years back and asked why I didn't come forward to talk to someone about my homosexual feelings (at a time when I WAS celibate), I just about sh*t myself. I wondered, "Do these people actually believe they foster an environment in the congregation where homosexuals should feel at ease with themselves?" What profound, shameful disconnection on the part of the org.
There are invidual people within the org who can see things differently on their own, and I sincerely appreciate their posts here. I wish there were more like you, as do the many who are quietly ailing.
Sorry, I forgot my original thought! During the judicial hearings leading to my disfellowshipping for sexual (gay) misconduct, I was asked by one elder, "Why don't you find a nice sister to marry? You can find things in common. This is OK, and do you know why? It's because sex isn't everything, B-." This advice bothered me deeply because it suggested that the sexual needs of my contemplated "wife" were completely neglible. The comments were not challenged by anyone present during the meeting.
Hi Benjammin. I was kicked out in the mid-80s. Funnily enough I did approach the elders for help (a number of times) and of course they couldn't offer anything, other than "get married" - your observations about the other person who would be roped-into this marriage are spot-on.
IMHO I do not think think it is possible to be gay, remain a JW and have a healthy mental state/life. Once a person is sure of their sexuality they may as well turn their attention to life outside the organisation. This is of course easy to say and very difficult to do, especially for those born-in who may realise their sexuality at quite an early age (about 11 in my case). Naturally this is likely to involve a great deal of pain and separation from family and friends. Having said that, accepting one is gay and living in accordance with that sometimes causes separations within families and other relationships whether the people concerned are religious or not. At least until they think it through properly.
I became a JW later on in life, 19/20. I knew was gay but hadn't come to terms with it at all and hadn't done anything about it so it was academic until of course if became a practical problem :)
Lifelong celibacy is, I think, a big deal and could only be undertaken by a person who chose celibacy for themselves. I do not think most gay people have any choice in their sexuality so enforced celibacy appears to me inhumane and potentially extremely damaging for the person concerned. It is perhaps no less damaging getting into a relationship where there is no attraction for the other party and no chance of expressing one's true nature. Damaging to all involved, and to potentially to any children produced from such an arrangement.
Sometimes folks make the assumption that being gay is simply about sex. Of course sex is usually a component of such any intimate relationship but they will not see that a loving gay relationship has all the emotional components that a heterosexual relationship has. Being gay is not simply about sexual attraction.
