I Hate This Game! (page 2)

FreudianSlip

Vowels-

23 almost 24 by the way. I know. Way to young

Yes, young. I was already married a couple years by the time I was your age (I'm 31). I have a sobering fact for you though: You'll never figure us out .

AllTimeJeff

Vowelboy (said with affection) :)

Something just occurred to me, be yourself man.

Women like individuals. I use the word 'quirky'. Don't play the game. First of all, you are a former JW, so lets be frank, you don't have game at the moment. This is the first girl after leaving the borg? Then she likes different. Trust me, I didn't realize just how different JW guys act after they first leave. I am sure (though I couldn't possibly know for sure) that exiting JW women are similar.

Use it to your advantage. Don't pretend that you are a player, otherwise, you are going to come across like Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd in those old "2 wild and crazy guy" skits.

There are some silver linings for being a JW and coming out for dating. You aren't going to be a mega player at the bar, so don't play that hand. You have different cards, and they are good cards. Learn them, learn yourself, you'll be good dude.

yknot

I met my husband when he was that exact same age and looking back he and I (19) were way too young (I like him better at 40 now that he has mellowed and accepts everything is not a challenge or competition)

ATJeff is correct about a man possessing himself as an individual........ admitedly we like to be led (follow) to some extent too. Broadly speaking, women like options and true equality is one of these options you must know enough about yourself and her to know when to be supportive and when to lead. You have to know when to give and when to take.....again going back to Jeffs comment about a man who possess himself.

Why not spend time developing yourself, your view, interests, career and maybe do some traveling abroad.......you will be a better man as a result.

Sisterly hugs of encouragement!

Aeiouy

Ay muchas gracias peoples! Very good advice. I am doing just that by the way, working on myself. I just got a book today called "I'm too nice for my own good.". That should help as that was a big problem with us. I never wanted her to be mad, and did everything I could to avoid it.

ATJeff- You crack me up. True true true. Recently exiting JWs got no game. Yeah that's me. Thanks for the critical advice. I needed it everyone.

FreudianSlip

lets be frank, you don't have game at the moment

Hehe.. sorry, but that amused me..

AEIOUY-

I know you are questioning yourself and wondering what you did wrong or what you could have done differently, but ultimately, you need to be yourself.

AllTimeJeff

A word on "using things to your advantage" I don't mean that to mean "be manipulative."

What I mean is, you want what you want. For you to be happy, you have to find the right match for you, even if its for just where you are at the moment. There is nothing wrong with pursuing a woman to make you happy....

....so long as you aren't pretending to be someone you aren't.

I have seen it in myself, and other ex JW, but just because we haven't as of yet discovered who we are doesn't mean that the authentic us isn't lurking just under the surface.

So be yourself, you may attract who you should be with. It beats pretending to be different and attracting someone who thinks you are someone else...

If that made any sense, thats all on you. Congrats....

mrsjones5

Sounds like she just wasn't that into you. I met my hubby when I was 26 and he was 27. Almost from the start we were always together. Did everything together. Called each other multiple times during the day when at work. When someone loves you and you love them back you can't get enough of each other.

I think perhaps your lady love was too young and just not ready for the intensity that you wanted/need. Being mean to her won't make her come around. Maybe she just not really the one.

FreudianSlip

"I'm too nice for my own good.". That should help as that was a big problem with us.

NO! You can't be 'too nice' to a girl. Please understand the difference between being nice and needy/clingy.

AllTimeJeff

And...

I have no idea why I am giving advice to you tonight.... Sorry. Thats not my thing.....

Aeiouy

I am a 23 year old who just came out of the JWs and has no idea who he is. I like rock climbing. That's about all I know. This whole world of dating is as foreign as another country. It's daunting and I don't know what to think.

I Hate This Game!

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