but she is now 45 , and has spent all her life sticking to the societys policy of only marrying in the "the truth" i saw her looking at my new baby with such longing and she said her baby would look just like her she was sure ! she has seen all her friends and younger sisters marry and have babys , i dont think she could cope if she knew the sacrifices she has made for the cult were all in vain , i also knew a lady of 86 who was very sweet and "mumsy" i asked why she had no children , she said she was waiting for the "new system" she died at 87 !
i knew a sister who would have made a wonderfull mum and wife
by looloo 10 Replies latest jw friends
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Heartofaboy
There was a sister in my congregation that ended up single through waiting on Jehovah & pioneering.
She was very unhappy about being unmarried & without children but always hoped God would answer her prayers.
One morning she was found dead on the floor by her disabled mother.
She was late 50's, unmarried, without children & unhappy.
There was a suspicion it was suicide.
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OnTheWayOut
One of my wife's best friends was like your "sister who would have made a wonderfull mum and wife." This one was a wonderful cook and loved having people over to her home and dated JW men, but never got further than dating. She was still a virgin into her late 40's because of the religion and waiting for "Brother" Right. Her twin sister didn't wait and had kids then divorce then got back to "serving Jehovah", so that made our friend that much more determined to wait.
Life is tough. There is no guarantee that she would have found a great guy right off the bat if she was not a JW, but look how many marriages also don't work for the JW's themselves.
It does sicken me some to think of the lives wasted in this cult.
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looloo
its amazing the amount of young girls who had left the cult and married some "worldly "bloke , then got divorced and ended up back in the cult thinking the only decent men in the world were in there , and ended up on their own for ever because of the lack of older men !
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Tea drinker
I knew a sister who is also in her forties and unmarried with no children.
I could never understand why, as she was attractive, artistic and intelligent. Thinking on it, that combination might have been a bit intimidating to an "exemplary" and "worthy" brother. Anyway, she had this deep melancholy and always looked sad. Nevertheless, she was always so pleasant to people and would always try to cheer up other depressed sisters. I was always curious about the deep sadness I could see in her eyes even when she was smiling. I was then told one day, by another member in the congregation, that this sister had turned down an opportunity for love with a non-Witness man who absolutely adored her.
Upon hearing this, I remarked how sad it was. The person who told me then said, "well, she put Jehovah first." I still think about that poor sister and how she is doing. I wonder whether she regrets her decision. I think she must be pained by it, judging from her general demeanour. I am so pleased that I am out of this religion. I would hate to go through life constantly pining for a lost love because I thought that I was doing the right thing.
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looloo
tea drinker that reminds me of a sister who did the same thing ,putting jehovah first and refused a proposal from a well off worldly man , she encouraged me to do the same when i was struggling but i didnt , and guess what around 8 years later she caused a bit of gossip in the cong when she married the bloke suddenly who she had obviously loved all along , still married i think but has depression (always has though)
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dissed
We new a JW sister well, who was into her mid-thirties, still looking for mister right. She lamented, all the good brothers were married off, and there weren't many single CO's available. She had very high standards, even for a JW.
She became very attracted to a workmate, whom she made it her project to bring into the truth and then marry. When her bible study with him turned into make-out sessions, she came us to us looking for advice.
We touted the WT line and encouraged her to give him some space and see if he was doing it for her or JG. He quit studying. They broke off the relationship.
She is now 55 and still not married.
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Gayle
It can be normal for a young girl to want and find the "perfect man." Only thing is, the Watchtower puts a warp on what is a good man. JW girls are taught the good man has the prerequisite of #1. sits at meetings, makes a comment here and there, #2. puts in 'time' going door to door.' The rest they think will all just (magically) fall into proper place. It's all the same as the fantasy world of a 'charming prince,' only the JW girl has it compounded.
I have an extended family relative waiting for the new world for her theocratic charming prince, going on 50 and a regular pioneer.
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babygirl30
There is a sister my mother 'cares for' and she is now 92yrs old, in stage 4 ahlzheimers, and lives in a nursing home - but she's NEVER been married. Story goes that both her parents were annointed and she cared for them till they passed, then she traveled the world on their money...so she remained a 'childless virgin'!! Not sure if I believe it, but I DO know she never got married and I think that's sad. She is now dying ALONE (short of my mom's attending to her) and I don't consider THAT a happy existence.
Too many sisters I know NOW have worldly men on the low and end up marrying them anyhow...or else they do the whole double-life thing and date the worldly guy whole still upkeeping their JW persona inside the cong. It's SAD!
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nugget
There are many sisters who wait and wait to get married and some eventually find Mr Right. There are also many who marry in haste and live with regret. What is sad is when people find the right person but reject them because of religious obligation. In life there are no certainties and a life of regret is a hard road.
My heart goes out to those couples and singles who dedicated their whole life to Jehovah because the end was coming soon and in the new order they would get the spouse they dreamed of and the children they longed for. Some of these died because the end wasn't coming as promised and at the end there was no hope of children or spouse since they were told that resurrected ones wouldn't be married. There are some now with the new change in generation ,coming to the realisation that they have not just postponed something precious but lost it forever.
When will the society change the record and free it's followers of the obligation to put off children and marriage? It works against their policy of reaping the bennefits when older ones die childless but it would be an act of humanity.