I like it - a lot. I don't know if this will be perceived as the compliment it is, but it reminds me of the style of some of the classic Southern writers of the 20th century. Tennessee Williams, Flannery O'Connor, many others. One of my very favorite literary movements, all told.
I'm afraid my style of writing is a bit too old-fashioned for modern tastes. My favorite author is now Cormac McCarthy who himself was
a great fan of William Faulkner.