English Policemen.

Englishman

Yesterday evening I journeyed into darkest Somerset to give a prospective client a quotation for a fitted bedroom. I juiced up at Tesco's and zoomed off towards rural Badgeworth. While I was drawing up my designs with my customer, my mobile phone burst into life, playing "The Sting" theme, which meant that this was an uknown caller to me. This is how the conversation went:

Mr. Hooper?

Yes!

Weston super Mare Police station 'ere.

Gulp!

Tell me sir, 'ave you recently visited the Tesco garage in Weston?

Yes, as a matter of fact I called in there tonight to fill up with petrol and then I........Oh holy shit!

Carry on please sir..

Oh Christ Almighty! I filled up with juice and drove off without paying! Oh bugger oh sod it oh bloody Norah..

Ahem, er quite so sir, any chance you could pop in there this evening at your convenience and pay the £25 for the petrol that you took sir?

Yes yes yes, anything burble burble..

Seriously folks, isn't that nice when the police phone you to check as to whether you had committed a crime before they arrest you?

I promise never again will I wind up our local coppers as to whether or not they really keep their sandwiches inside their helmets.

Englishman.

Bring on the dancing girls!

WildHorses

I have to admit that the police here in Fuquay are pretty nice. A while back my tag was dead (laps in insurance) and the Officer told me to please take care of it as soon as I could.

It may be the fact that I have known the man for more than 15 years but still, he could have gotten into trouble too for not reporting it.

Hats off to the police force!

I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.

cellomould

This is not something I would have the police on my case for, but I have forgotten to pay for lunch so many times at the cafeterias at my university!

I don't know why, but it's quite easy to walk past the registers as if you had already paid.

I suppose since I don't look suspicious (unaware that I myself am stealing) no one bothers me.

I usually never found out until I checked my wallet later and found only one large bill. <scratching my head> 'Didn't I buy lunch today?'

The one time I caught myself early enough to go back and pay, the cashier said, 'hey, don't worry about it'.

Just my $5

cellomould

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

unclebruce

The cops here in NSW are pretty good especially if you look like a family man. There has been a debate here about what they should officially be called. The name went from Police Force to Police Service in 1990 and now they are to being called NSW Police. 'Police Service' sounded way to wimpy

They are corrupt though. We are amused by the English cops on "the Bill" no way would crims and hoons give the NSW cops the grief they give English ones. That .38 revolver hanging at the side makes a big difference to attitudes. Cops saying f*** this and f*** that, when there aren't any women around is a shocker too.

unclebruce

PS: Yeah, the long arm of the law reaches you by phone nowerdays. I had a cop ring me in the work van to tell me my left brake light wasn't working, I looked in the mirror and there he was behind me grinning and waving. lol lazy bastard.

PSS: Most Police stations here automatically track your mobile phone during a call. All calls are automatically triangulated. I don't know if it's done over there, your friendly bobby may have had the address you were at on the screen in front of him as he set off the sting.

Englishman

Wow Unckie Bruce,

Never seen a policeman with a gun except at Heathrow and Gatwick airport where they carry machine guns.

Englishman.

Bring on the dancing girls!

unclebruce

machine guns? wow we don't even let soldiers carry them (unless there are Indonesians about ;)

South Australian Police model themselves closely on the English, they'd never swear in public and only got the right to bear arms about 15 years ago. NSW is another world with endemic corruption dating back to the first fleet. There is a saying in NSW - "the Burglary Squad's in charge of Burglary, the Drug Squad's in charge of drugs and the Homicide Squad's in charge of murder" (no joke)
The current English Police Commisioner, Peter Ryan, is trying to clean it all up (poor bloke's pissing against the wind to a large extent)

unclebruce

Abaddon

I do think English police are wonderful, at least in concept... you know, the "Stop, or I will say stop again!" thing... no guns.

Basically in England each area will have a car with a couple of guns in the boot. Someone running around with a gun will have that car sent their way, as well as normal patrol cars.

Other than police assigned as bodyguards, Embassy guards, or on duty in airports (all of whom are specially trained), guns are only handed out if they know they're going up against someone who may have a gun. And they have to account for each bullet. And you can only get a gun if you're specially trained, and you can decline that if you don't want to carry a gun.

Obviously, there are major faults with the English police, especially with regard to institutionalised racism, but these are recognised and the police are trying to resolve things, especially in the light of several major trials where cases were lost because of racist attitudes (Stephen Lawrence, e.g.).

But, even here in Holland, where the police are a cross between a security guard and a uniformed social worker, the guns give me the willies. The American police I have not encountered enougth to really form an opinion.

I can understand WHY they are carried, but I don't have to LIKE it, so I?

Basically, if I was American, I would swap my right to bear arms for the firearm fatality rate of England, but the horse has not only bolted in the 'States, it's gone and bought way too many guns to ever bolt the stable door again, unless you sent the army round, which would have the NRA creaming themselves in delight, saying "I told yuh we needed guns so we could resist when Uncle Sam came to take our guns away! Open fire!!" But I'm sure if I was bought up with guns a part of life, as many Americans are, I would share their mindset.

People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...

unclebruce

Why do English coppers yell out oi! Short for oink?

Englishman

Uncle Bruce,

I will just make a slight correction there, if I may. English policeman normally apprehend their suspects by approaching the felon, giving a slow knees-bend and exclaiming 'Ello 'ello 'ello! What's all this 'ere then? Terrifying eh? However, that is not the end of the story, when an officer of the law obseves a crime being committed at a distance, he will loudly yell OY! YOU! at the miscreant who will usually go weak at the knees in terror, or might even faint clear away.

Englishman

Bring on the dancing girls!

Simon

Hey Englishman, if you need a character witness then give us a call ... we would be willing to visit you in Jail later with a cake or something too

English Policemen.

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