Well, I told my mom today that I haven't been to a meeting in 5 months plus I need some advise for next Saturday

by doublelife 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  nugget

  Tell your Uncle you have no desire to prove JW beliefs wrong, your only hope is for him to restore your faith and prove these things right. You have failed on your own and perhaps he can help.

  Stick to one thing only Cyberjesus is right, he cannot be reasoned with and he won't want to hear what you have to say, by prolonging the conversation you dig yourself in deeper and are heading for JC.

  If 607 is where you want to go then keep evidence to trusted archeologists say this is what you don't understand. If the premise is wrong the conclusion is wrong. State you have found no source outside the society that agrees with the 607 date. Please if he can find the trusted source that the society used to establish the 607 date then you would be so relieved.

  Leave it at that. Keep the tone light and sincere, keep the meeting short. If he tries to cover other topics and ask other questions about faith tell him you are grateful for his concern and really it is this issue that is causing you a little concern and really he can help you best by resolving this small point. Don't get distracted to other points as he will use them as a stick to beat you with later.

  Use your own diversions e.g. how is his family doing? Is he enjoying his work? Earthquakes etc.

  Also make sure that you set the time frame e.g. I am glad you came but I can only talk for 30 minutes as I have to be somewhere else at whatever time. This way he can't camp on the sofa.

  I wish you luck.
• 

  doublelife

  So it seems a lot of you guys think I shouldn't meet with my uncle unless I want to be Df'd. Like I said before, I was pretty much cornered by mom into meeting with him. So how can I not meet with him now? He's not some elder at my new congregation that I haven't attended. I can't just not be at home. He's my uncle. Even if I have a good reason to cancel he and my mom will pressure me to meet with him again. I don't think I really have a choice.
• 

  wobble

  I think Freudian Slip has the best advice so far, drop any confrontation, and fade quietly.(Nuggets points are good too)

  Say to Uncle you are having the odd doubt, think you are a bit depressed, hence the tiredness, but you would like him in the spirit of Judev22 "Continue showing mercy to some that have doubts" to help you return to full activity.

  And if you are then pressed , just give him ONE question to go away and research and come back to encourage you.

  I did not want to be DA'd or DF'd as all my family are Uber -Dubs, even my 90 year old Mum, I do not wish to loose contact with her at this stage, so I did the above.

  If you give him a silver-bullet type question like "What teaching was it that persuaded Jesus to choose the Bible Students under Rutherford in 1919 as His FDS ?" (You must qualify that you are not talking about what they did NOT teach,or something they have revised since, with Noo Lite, Jesus would be looking for purveyors of the truth.)

  (If possible do not give him anything to work with, just let him think he has encouraged you.)

  I have posed this, and other similar questions, singly, to many of my family. None have come back to me, and we now just have normal family relationships, as they would with an unbelieving relative, almost never mentioning the religion.

  I call that a Result, and at any time in the future I can DA if I want, I doubt if I shall bother, it all means nothing to me now, I have no point to make.

  Keep focussed on what you want to achieve, if that is your freedom and yet keep your relationship with your Mum, do not rise to any bait Uncle may dangle, it is so tempting to want to show them how sillty their beliefs are, but that is dangerous.

  Beware too, the Loyalty questions, "Do you still consider yourself a JW?" Do you" believe they are God's org/channel etc" You have to either avoid answering those,(by saying "I hope you are going to prove that to me by answering the above question") or lie and say yes (known as theocratic warfare)

  Good luck,

  Love

  Wobble
• 

  out4good3

  Like I said before, I was pretty much cornered by mom into meeting with him. So how can I not meet with him now? He's not some elder at my new congregation that I haven't attended. I can't just not be at home. He's my uncle. Even if I have a good reason to cancel he and my mom will pressure me to meet with him again. I don't think I really have a choice.

  I'm sorry, but if you're a grown, bill paying, married adult, not living at home, why not just thank them for their concern but you don't want to meet to be questioned on this issue.

  Or just forget all the apologetic prevarications and just tell the no!

  As an adult, you don't HAVE TO talk to anybody you don't want to about anything you don't want to talk to them about.

  What are they gonna do....eat you!!!!
• 

  Ultimate Reality

  Don't make statements of belief. Just ask questions.
• 

  FreudianSlip

  So how can I not meet with him now?

  I would do as wobble suggested. Ask one question and only give little resistance. Then drop it and enjoy the visit as uncle and niece.

  I know you are thinking right now that we are going overboard, but I can speak from experience. If your mother is willing to tattle on your husband, then she might just do the same to try to "help" you. My family and I used to be super close and now the only contact I have is the occasional phone call every few months to make sure I am still breathing.
• 

  doublelife

  Thanks for everyone's responses. I'm reading them but too weak to answer everyone. I have a middle ear infection.
• 

  doublelife

  I feel a little better now.

  Okay, so, knowing my mom, she probably didn't explain my question to him correctly. He's probably preparing to come over here just to explain the whole seven times deal. I'm thinking of just calling him to tell him what the real question is. Simply that I want to know what source the society uses to support 607 and leave it at that and tell him when he finds it to let me know. That way he doesn't have to come over here at all. I know that if he does he'll start asking me other questions that I don't want to answer.

  FreudianSlip, "Then drop it and enjoy the visit as uncle and niece." I don't see that happening. We're not that close. He's coming over to re-indoctrinate me and that's it. And since I'm sure my mom told him I haven't been to the meetings in 5 months, he'll probably be suspicious that something else is going on. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me if I've been reading apostate material.
• 

  leavingwt

  He's going to ask you, 'Why would think that 607 is not accurate? Have you been reading apostate websites?'

  You can let him know that you were researching the State of Israel. Their history indicates that the temple was captured and destroyed in 587 BCE.

  http://www.science.co.il/Israel-history.asp

  You were curious as to why the modern day Jews wouldn't know the correct date.
• 

  doublelife

  leavingwt, thanks! That's exactly what I need.