by highdose 91 Replies latest jw friends
I think the guy could already be in a relationship. I doubt seriously he will spend the entire night with you. Sounds more like a hit and run.
This guy does not want a relationship with you and has told you up front his intentions. Believe him.
If all you want is some sex, use protection and then kick him out the door the minute you are done with him. Do not engage in any cuddle time. There is no point in getting attached to this guy, he will only break your heart.
BTW, this has nothing to do with rules or "the cult." It has to do with dignity. Find yours.
I don`t think this has anything to do with the WTS, just a mixture of Male lack of commitment, and your inexperience. You are an adult ,ask what he is expecting, and tell him what you want from a relationship. If he is serious he will show some commitment, and really, this early in a relationship, I would expect him to be bending over backwards to please you.
Take care, remember you are your own boss.
Best Wishes
Paul Uk
BE CAREFUL!
If you are looking for more out of a relationship than a one nighter, let that be known!
Decide what YOU want - just dont do something you will regret later.
This sounds like a H&D to me.......
hump and dump - definition - having sex with a girl then totally ignoring her.
My worst nightmare would be to be taken adventage of by a guy who can't belive his luck in finding a girl whose so completly clueless.
You need to tell this guy to bugger off - you are walking straight into your worst nightmare!!!
Am i a mug or what?
The answer to that question depends on what you do next.
TS
what robdar said
how can this not offend your dignity?
kick his ass to the curb for pickup by
the dept of sanitation cos he is trash
Sounds like a booty call to me. As long as you're ok with that kind of "relationship" (Friends With Benefits, F*** Buddies, etc.) and want no further emotional involvement, then fine.
It sounds like he's already decided that he doesn't want strings attached, especially the dishonesty he's already given you, so if you are looking for something more emotionally fulfilling, then it might be time to cut him loose.
It's really your call to set the tone for the relationship. If dishonesty and wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am is distasteful to you, then dump him like last week's leftovers. I'd be careful about the one-night-stand though. If he's into "erotic movies", he may have some kind of set-up for each of his "productions", like hidden cameras. You don't want to be used like that, do you?
Sigh (hugs you).
Were you raised a JW? Here is the challenge - and honestly, you will probably have to learn it the hard way (no pun intended, but while we are on the subject, use condoms, NO EXCEPTIONS.)
As a JW, you were raised to believe (or indoctrinated if you weren't born in) that sex is ONLY for committed, married people, right? So when you leave, unfortunately, that mindset goes with you. If a guy kisses you or sleeps with you - in a newbie ex-JW woman's mind - that means the strong possibility of potential love and commitment. The guys you will date do not have the same background and therefore aren't going to be approaching this from the same mental/emotional triggers you are. For them, sex is normal and natural like brushing your teeth, combing your hair, getting dressed. It is just sex, no deeper meaning than that. It is fufilling a physical need, nothing more, nothing less. They can no more understand your need to make it into something more important than that than you can understand their way of treating it as not that big of a deal.
It took me almost 2 years to really "get" that and not think I was a: too disappointing in bed so they wouldn't come back, b:inferior, inadequate, unlovable.
I think you have 2 choices - if you want to play and explore, then think of it like that. Do not expect a relationship - look at it as having different experiences for future reference. Or, if you want a relationship, a good rule of thumb (learned from my wonderful "worldly" friends) is - don't give it up for 90 days. If he has consistently dated you and been present for those 90 days, then by the time you sleep with him, you will already know if he is relationship material.
thanks everybody, good advice all... i have just texted the guy and told him he won't be getting what hes after tonight. I think thats the same as dumping in this guys mind, he will have got the message.
... so back to square one again! i wouldn't mind but i'm not looking for Mr Perfect, i'm only looking for Mr nice and average! but i keep meeting Mr D*ckhead instead!!!
Highdose: RUN! What if this guys a psycho killer?? And if you keep attracting the wrong one's it's because you have some more internal work to do on yourself. The best way to know who YOU are is to look at what's surrounding you and who's in your life. You did the right thing on telling him no, especially if you googled him and he was all that stuff you didn't know about! Girls have to be very careful and unfortunately because of our already gentle nature and the jw indoctrination, we aren't very street smart and could be easy targets for crazy people!
