Blueblades/Mall Cop said in a post that he was "lingering" on as a JW for decades hoping to understand things about the "Truth" that were still unexplainable. (My words, paraphrasing).
I did the same thing for probably a decade, either hoping things in the Organization might change or I might finally "get it", regarding some teaching or viewpoint that just seemed to make no sense.
Did you hang on to the "Truth" much longer than you should have?