The Dictonary of JW's

by highdose 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • highdose
    highdose

    Jw's are very fond of taking words and making them mean somthing completly different. I thought it might be interesting to compile these. Of course every other worldly dictonary will say that the word mean somthing different... But Brothers and Sisters! We have faith that it means what the GB tells us it means, otherwise all our beliefs would be wrong!! haha and that surely can't be the case can it;)?

    Apostate: A former member of JW's who has left and began opposing JW's

    Generation: Multiple ages overlapping for aprox 100 years.

    ...your turn

  • darthfader
    darthfader

    New Light (pronounced Noo Lite): 1) Their lightbulb burned out and they had to get a new one. 2) The continuous revealing of the deeper truths of the sacred scriptures found only by the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses. (barf!)

    Darth Fader

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    Faithful: Obedient

    Happy: Obedient

    Clean: Obedient

    Doubt: Disobey

    Think: Disobey

    Question: Disobey

  • Bonnie_Clyde
    Bonnie_Clyde

    Seems like there was a thread some time ago with definitions of JW terms. Don't have time to research now. But it would be fun to put all the information together.

  • blondie
    blondie
  • wobble
    wobble

    Evidently=proven to the JW mind, really means no evidence whatsoever, esp. scriptural.

    Soon= very close ! really means anytime in the next billion years

    Strong (spiritually)= lots of time in FS and at all meetings etc (does not really mean the spiritual side of the person is to the fore,rather the opposite)

    Weak= someone who misses meetings and FS, really means someone who has the strenghth to resist the mind control.

    Worldly= someone who acts and perhaps dresses like normal people.

  • lepermessiah
    lepermessiah

    SPIRITUAL = an individual who frequently goes out in the door to door ministry peddling WT literature and attends meetings at the Kingdom Hall regularly, regardless of moral character, criminal activities, or actual faith.

  • lepermessiah
    lepermessiah

    Worldly= someone who acts and perhaps dresses like normal people.

    LOL Wobble!!!

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    How is this: Stealing=not going out in field circus all the time. You are thereby stealing the word of God.

  • MMXIV
    MMXIV

    Reaching out 1) to stretch one’s arm out 2) to publicly demonstrate one’s desire for promotion within the congregation by sucking up to several elders/visiting CO and being seen to do more field ministry. (this only applies to the male gender)

    Food at the proper time 1) meal served on time 2) a pile of horsesh1t printed in a magazine that must be repeated in rote on a Sunday in front of other like-minded horsesh1t swallowers

    Improper conduct 1) acting in an unacceptable way 2) the words used to describe feeling up your girlfriend/boyfriend when you are confessing to elders

    Trusting in God 1) putting your trust in God 2) accepting horsesh1t you know is horsesh1t but are being asked to wait until one day it is superseded by fresher horesesh1t

    Last days of the last days 1) WTF? 2) the phrase used to imply (but not guarantee) the end of the world is so imminent that the logical course of action would be to resign from any secular job and knock on as many doors as you can to warn people of their imminent destruction.

    Spiritual reminders 1) a reminder from a source that is considered spiritual 2) reprinting the same old horsesh1t till one is bored to tears or a useful phrase to insert into a public prayer if preceded by the words “grateful for”

    Brothers and Sisters 1) American sitcom 2) a way of addressing anyone who would gladly shun you the moment an elder announces you’re disfellowshipped or a group of individuals who regularly express an appreciation for horsesh1t

    Brothers 1) a male sibling 2) a method of addressing a congregation whilst reinforcing that women are considered to be a lower class of horsesh1t swallowers

    Elder 1) an older person 2) a senior horsesh1t swallower who has the power to deliver their own horsesh1t

    Pioneer 1) the first to enter or settle a region 2) a practiced timewaster who seeks approval from other horesesh1t swallowers

    Do not call 1) a request to not call 2) the occupier of a property that refuses to swallow horsesh1t

    Joy 1) delight or happiness 2) the “lack of” being something to beat up anyone who hasn’t smiled enough during horsesh1t swallowing sessions or the secret emotion experienced when a senior horseh1t swallower has not turned up to deliver his horsesh1t on a Sunday.

    Horsesh1t 1) what people who don’t know better or choose not to know better swallow in regular doses – best done as a group activity known as fellowship

    MMXIV

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