Difference between "raised in the truth" and "converts" that are now X-JWs.

by Brocephus 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  VoidEater

  Me = born in = was totally at sea in a scary world I'd never lived in before
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  dinah

  I was born in too. Like Blondie, I had one parent in and one who was an UBM (Christian of sorts but NEVER JW). More leeway. It still affected me to get kicked out at 18, but I can see now that I probably did that on purpose. It was the only way out.

  That being said, I look at the ones who converted later and say "How much more F'd up can you get?" Before you jump on me, that applies to my Mom.

  Those of us born-in who see through it can't understand why anyone would join. We spent most of our lives clawing our way out. Then we get out and we ask "Now what?" We usually figure it out.
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  cry

  From my experience, born-ins are less able to cope. They literally have no connection with 'the world'. If you are a convert, you can at least go back to what was 'normal'. If you are a born-in, you go back to what is 'evil'. My uber JW ex MIL, has a warm side to her, she was not born-in. Her daughter, on the other hand, is way out there - not able to reason, totally unsympathetic etc. I see the difference in them, and so do my kids, as one being born-in and one being 'formed' out of the org.
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  beksbks

  If you are a convert, you can at least go back to what was 'normal'. If you are a born-in, you go back to what is 'evil'.

  That's definitely one debilitating aspect. You've been told your whole life, that anyone not a JW is somehow evil. Learning to trust has been my most difficult issue in life.

  As for the zealous, I ask you to consider this. What if your family is "weak"? You know how horrible that feels? You are "no part of this world", but yet, your place in the congregation is a continual source of embarrassment and never feeling good enough. Major suckage.
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  chigaimasmaro

  Cry - If you are a born-in, you go back to what is 'evil'.

  Bingo, you hit the nail right on the head. If its not JW approved, its "evil" and that goes for most things in "the world". So if one awakens and realize that the organization they were in was corrupt and the only recourse is to join a world thats "evil" you are nothing but a jumbled mess at times. Even though things eventually get sorted out, every day at every meeting you were soon how terrible and bitter everything is, to have to escape from the JW organization to what seems like an even worse situation (the evil and supposedly morally corrupt world) is very mentally damaging.
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  LV101

  Actually, I converted and couldn't believe how they were NO BETTER THAN THE WORLD --- in many cases, much WORSE. Ill mannered, uneducated people! I noticed immediately the Theocratic School resembled a Mary Kay sales/recruiting meeting and the gossip/jealousy was no different from people who were heathens and w/out FEAR OF GOD. I realize, of course, there are always a small percentage in religions who are decent people, JW's included.

  The pecking order was unbelievable and if you were of a different social status you were shunned EXCEPT when they wanted a gift, handout, free professional services, etc. Of course, I made it known to a few elder's wives that if they messed w/me --- I WOULD MESS W/THEM! I did NOT FIT IN after being abused and scratching my head for few yrs.

  With the exception of maybe two JW's (who were in different economic status also) I was the happiest person on the face of the earth when I realized I'd rather be destroyed in the big end rather than be around these loser people. I was searching for information about the religion (cult) online the minute I owned a computer and, unfortunately, this was before H2O.

  None of it seemed Godly to me (from Day 1!) as much as I loved learning history and hope (from their recruiting material, the Awake & W/T) but at the hall or anything connected with the Watchtower, nothing seemed right. One cannot have enough EDUCATION and I, obviously, didn't have enough to see thru the brainwashing of the mags.

  I do have alittle empathy for the small minority of decent ones --- realizing they've been duped. If other religions are as cruel, deceptive & hateful as the W/T, I want nothing to do w/them.

  NV1
• 

  WTWizard

  Those who were born in were trained from the ground up to be incompetent outside the cancer. They got lousy grades in school because they had boasting sessions on school nights and their test-study time was killed with field circus. They were told not to even think of college. They were not allowed to associate with regular people, and they could not do any of the things regular people did. Holidays and birthdays were viewed as wicked right from the start--those whose parents were more liberal suffered less than those whose parents were by the book. More than a few were home schooled, always with being a pio-sneer in mind. These are going to have a miserable time trying to adjust to not being witlesses.

  Recruited witlesses have a different set of challenges. Most were down on their luck just before the witlesses knocked on their door, and sought refuge in the religion. They were made promises, and then those promises were broken. All too often, and more so these days, such were also mentally very sick (baby eating, pedophiles, etc.) They are recruiting from prisons and mental institutions more these days, which creates a group of people that are going to either join the cancer or continue a more openly debauched lifestyle. If these people ever leave, they are more likely to find themselves right back in prison or the mental institution because the religion only masked the problems.

  Those recruits that are not especially mentally ill (that is, those who were merely laid off, struggling socially or financially, or suffered a death in the family when they were called on) are more likely to simply walk out on the cancer when promises are not kept. If the witlesses did more damage, or created additional problems (houndings to pio-sneer, throwing away everything that meant anything to them, breaking key promises), they are just as apt to be pxxxed off enough to start exposing the religion and wasting their time. More likely, such people return to the condition they were in before they became witlesses (albeit with additional issues because of the added problems), but are better off once they are out of the cancer than while they were in.
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  freewilly01

  I think that all those years and years in the BorgOrg and raised in it has given us a keener sense of people, only because of the constant associating with people we would never have had to ever. What I mean is that we have seen alot of people, I guess most of us have known over a thousand people almost intimately compared to most. Our social IQ is way higher because of that, our knowledge of people our people skills def gives us a heads up or puts us in a diff category altogether compared to the common guy on the street. And that may save us some grief when it comes to blending in or making our way in the freedom mode.
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  JeffT

  I converted the year I graduated from college. I was a bit down on my luck, all the people I knew where going some place else, and it was all a bit scary. JW's gave a place to hang out with some nice people. (My first hall was a nice bunch). But eventually I realized it wasn't what I thought I was buying when I got it. So I crossed the bridge back to the real world.

  I don't think you can generalize about one group over the other. My wife converted at the same time I did (we barely knew each other at the time). I don't think she thinks about it unless I bring it up.
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  LV101

  WTWizard --- Love your style of writing & your vernacular for Watchtower terms/words. I roll laughing when I read your posts.

  NV1