Hi everyone, another newbie here. I've been lurking on this site for over 2 weeks now - love it! The more I read the more ignorant I feel, but I'm learning... I've posted a few responses to others, and would like to say a big thank you to those who have already welcomed me. I've been trying really hard to get an intro. put together, but with a 7-month-old at home it's hard to write two coherent sentences, let alone anything more complicated! Anyway, I was raised as a JW mostly by my mom, as my dad has only really been involved again in the last few years. I guess my doubts about the religion must have gotten started at a pretty young age, since I can remember wondering why my grandparents (who were kind, decent people) would be destroyed in Armageddon simply because they made the mistake of choosing the "wrong" religion. My dad was probably what you'd call a fader (he had been baptized, but never regularly attended meetings), so my family was definitely not as strict as the average JW family. For example, my dad strongly encouraged my sister and I to do well in school so that we could eventually go on to college, and we were allowed to have "worldly" friends over occasionally. In high school I went through a period where I was a firm believer that this religion was the "truth", that armageddon really was just around the corner, and so I was duly baptized at the age of fifteen.
I really started fading away once I made the decision to go to college, and it was about a year or so into college that I got in trouble for dating someone outside of the "truth". One of the elders had seen us having lunch together at the local McDonald's of all places, haha. Since dating in general was strongly discouraged in our small congregation, and especially dating a worldly person, I was really in the hot seat... (Honestly, I'm not sure how any of the witnesses ever manage to get married - how in the heck do you know you're compatible without spending time together?) Anyway, I was publicly reproved rather than disfellowshipped mainly due to the efforts of my dad who spoke with the elders about how he had "failed" me by not being a good example throughout the years, etc. As for me, I had to meet twice with two of the elders, which started out okay and then quickly degenerated into what seemed more like sexual harrassment than loving guidance... So while I was grateful not to be disfellowshipped at the time, I was so traumatized by the "interrogation" I was put through by one elder in particular that I pretty much stopped attending meetings completely. Basically that was the catalyst I needed to see the religion for what it really is, and to get me out of there. This all happened well over 10 years ago now, and I only recently started looking into the possibility of going back after my son was born. Yeah, going back - crazy, huh? I've pretty much avoided all religion as much as possible since I knew I didn't want to go back to the witnesses, and I grew up hearing about how evil Christendom is... My parents still witness to me every chance they get over the phone, and my mom mails me Watchtower and Awake magazines when she sees something she thinks I really need to read, so it's hard to completely get away. I'm pretty much starting from square one with doing my own research, and I'd really appreciate it if anyone has any suggestions for where a newbie should begin - recommended readings, etc. Thanks so much for your input!!