I would Appreciate your comments

lancelink

Back in September of 08 my Mom died, and both of my parents had been jw's since 1978.

In the mid 80's they moved down south to retire. And she was the type of person who remembered EVERYONES anniversary, if someone got

sick, or died she would send a card, flowers, to the family or call.

Even years after they moved away !

When she died only 5 people made an effort to send a card, (I was baptized in 79, and raised my family in the same hall all

these years). I started to fade back in late 2006.

An announcement was made at the service meeting, and phone numbers, and addresses were posted on the info. board at the hall

While looking at the cards yesterday, I remember one person told me that I needed to come back to the hall so that " everyone could

let me know how sorry they were ".

Is this a normal practice ? They cannot even send a card, make a phone call, or stop off before/during/or after service for a minute unless you are

a totally normal and active witness ?

Does the PO, elders, or gb have that much control over basic human behavior ?

By the way, that comment about coming back created a very creepy feeling in me. I wrote my DA letter several months later.

Sorry for the rambling, but at the time I was so mad and upset, now I feel like I have finally walked off the set of the twilight zone.

It is truly sad that there was so little response when someone so caring died. Unfortunately the organisation is very insular they only think in terms of active members and how they are affected. They probably gave little thought to how you were affected except that without the hope of a resurrection it might be harder for you. Only when out do you appreciate how controlled you were. Although it was a long while ago accept my condolances for your mum she sounds like a great person.

Gregor

You, like many of us, have passed through the veil of a strange world

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

LL, You have to understand how hard it is for dubbers to find just the right card that can express their joy for her faithfulness until death, being in Jehovah's memory, waiting for the paradise earth, sorry they'll miss her in field serve-us, you better come back to the Kingdumb Haul or you're dead and never see your mom when she's resurrected. I guess you can feel "blessed" that you got any cards.

AudeSapere

I had similar response to my own cancer diagnosis/treatment. There were just a handful that called or sent a card. One couple, in particular, really irritated me. They did phone - but only after they got back home 600 miles away after spending a week visiting 'mutual' friends who lived just 5 miles from me.

In my case, I think my mom 'absorbed' much of any attention or inquiry that would have been sent to me.

My unbaptized brother said it was probably because I was not entitled to attention from either of the congs I was associated with since I had been inactive for so long.

It was all just one more step in helping me OUT of the org.

My sister, former roommate, former coworker, were the only JWs who visited. The one couple I mentioned earlier were the only ones who phoned directly. Two others sent cards. In contrast... MANY non-JWs showed continual support and kindness. It was an eye-opening experience from an 'unconditional love' perspective.

Sorry about your mom. I think in the JW mind, funerals are not to show respect for the deceased or empathy to the family. It's about putting on a show. If there is not much of an audience, why do the show?

Stupid, crazy religion.

-Aude.

MidwichCuckoo

Sadly I think this is 'normal' JW behaviour, because they only feign Love amongst themselves - 'come back and we will pretend we care' - because (pretence at) Love and support is conditional on you being in the KH. I also think this attitude relieves members of any 'charitable' involvement. It sounds like your Mum was a genuine caring lady, Lance.

blondie

Lancelink, this was a point that I made with the elders....my FIL died, then my BIL, no jws came for the visitation (was not in a church) and only 2 cards. Many if not most jws figure a verbal comment at the hall is sufficient and covers their a**. I mentioned that 2 ministers (family members) came to the visitation and wondered where the people were from our congregation...I told the elders, what kind of witness was that do you think?

What you do reflects on Jehovah?????

OUTLAW

Watchtower World is a Strange Place..

Absurd behaviour is considered normal..

Normal behaviour is almost unheard of..

...................... ...OUTLAW

cantleave

Feel the love!

anewme

Sad story indeed. Sorry you experienced that ingratitude and lack of love. We can tell you are still hurting from it.

The Watchtower interferes with the normal human conscience response. Im sure many loved your mother but for some reason something stopped them from paying their respects. Who knows what that was? Whatever it was, it was a bad decision they all made.

I was so zealous for the Watchtower, I did some very unloving things in my very judgemental thinking. This kind of cold obedience to the cult is rampant in all the cults. The rules are so bizarre and so against normal human response that the less intelligent cult members act out some pretty crazy behavior in order to please their cult god and leaders, even turning against mothers, fathers, children and society in general.