life=pain (page 2)

yknot

.... well simply put down the bottle and get back on the wagon....

Personally I never understood 'drinkin'.....guess being a girl and higher chances of sexual assault kept me from indulging.

Just try your best to be sweet, kind and giving.

I was thinking of you today....... guess now I know why

Buy out some sober time to really hold yourself accountable as to what direction you want to take with your life. We all make mistakes, and many times it isn't the mistake itself that matters so much as the way we handle ourselves in light of the mistake. .....

Think before you act, post here if you are having a moments of being lost! Pain subsides, life continues onward, tomorrow the sun will rise and shine even if the skies are cloudy...... this too shall pass

Keeping putting one foot forward, and try to keep from looking in the rearview mirror......because it is nothing but your past and not your future!

Sleep tight

Sending sisterly love your way (hugs)

(sending you a PM too)

tec

I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling. I understand guilt. It is the worst possible punishment that anyone can ever receive. Please know that everyone with a conscience has experienced deep remorse over something they have done. Our mistakes, no matter how severe, shape us into stronger, smarter and more caring people.

And you do deserve forgiveness; not because of any deeds done to earn it, but because God offers it to us if we but confess our wrongdoing and ask.

"God loves you because of who he is, not because of who you are." - a random e-mail sent to me, but it inspired love and belonging at once

Chalam

Hello PFC,

FS is right, alcohol is likely adding to your problems, not alleviating them Alcohol and depression Alcohol and Depression

You need to get to the root of the problem "Guilt. I'm haunted by the things I've done."

In one sense, guilt is good, we do wrong and our conscience's makes us feel guilty. Without it, no one feels remorse for wrongdoing which does lead to anarchy.

However, the WT have likely piled on the guilt. It is common in JWs, and lingers in many exJWs, totally irrational guilt that won't go away.

The solution is here Hebrews 10 and here Romans 8. Have a read and see what you think.

Personally I know the heavy weight of guilt of my own wrongs. I also know what it is to have been permanently set free from carrying those heavy backpacks, having given them all to someone else.

Blessings,

Stephen

nugget

Being human means we make mistakes, it's human nature. You made a doozie and you deserve to feel some guilt. However you don't deserve to suffer an eternity of pain and anguish that is just self indulgence. Drinking does not help it's like painting a house that suffers from dry rot so stop before you start circling the drain.

On the plus side you haven't tried to justify your appalling behaviour you know you did wrong, that is very adult. You need to take control of your life and start making positive choices. Start addressing the issues that made you cheat in the first place and make you drink when things go pear shaped in the second. It may be too late to salvage this relationship but by taking positive steps now you will be in a better position to make the best of any new one in the future. No relationship will benefit if one half always takes refuge in alcohol when things go wrong.

I do feel sorry for you but you must help yourself, I know what it is like to wallow in self pity it is not a good place to be and it is best not to linger.

streets76

Hang in there. "To live is to suffer, to suffer is to live."

goldensky

My very dear Paul from Cleveland,

You know I have a soft spot for you, like many of us here. I wish I understood the depth of your pain, but I don't. From what I gather, you feel overwhelmed by guilt because you "cheated on your partner". Does that mean you had sex with another girl? If that's the case, for goodness' sake, Paul, you are human! That can happen to anybody. Please forgive yourself and learn from your experience. But don't dwell on it, for the sake of your own sanity. We have all made mistakes of one sort or another, sometimes hurting others and ourselves indelibly. What are we supposed to do now? Torture ourselves with thoughts of gnawing remorse? Worse still, try to numb those thoughts through some addicting and health-impairing substance? No way!!! Please love yourself, dear Paul, you look and sound like such a lovable person!

As for the partner you lost, are you sure you've definitely lost him/her? Aren't you throwing the towel too fast? Although of course I know nothing of the person in question, I strongly feel hardly anything is powerful enough to end a relationship irreversibly if the "guilty" partner devotes all his energy to gaining the person back. Why don't you set yourself that worthwhile goal? To succeed, you will need a serene mind and an unmovable will, two things alcohol will only take away from you.

Please, look after yourself. You well know all on this board wish you the very best.

Lots of love, OLGA.

Mad Sweeney

Good advice on this thread so far, Paul. Please listen to it.

Indeed, life = pain. Life also equals beauty, love, peace, anger, excitement, and anything and everything else one could think of. But what YOUR life equals is entirely up to you, and it begins NOW. Your past is, in economic terms, a sunk cost, and has absolutely nothing to do with how you can feel and acheive in the future.

Guilt is based on looking backward. It is almost wholly nonproductive. Once you have learned not to make the same mistake again, it is time to move on, not make the mistake again, and live a life of fulfillment. Jesus said, "stop judging" and he didn't qualify it exclusively to OTHER people. Stop judging yourself, too, Paul. That you have a good heart is evident in your posts. Past actions are past. You learn and you move on.

You're ok. Really you are.

paul from cleveland

thank you for your comments. I was expecting a lot of "you deserve it" comments (which, of course I do). It's morning now. I feel embarrassed for posting while intoxicated last night. I'm getting back on the wagon today.

life=pain

noni1974

poopsiecakes