What to do

by JWinprotest 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  JWinprotest

  We haven't been to a meeting or turned in a field service report for 2 months, so we don't know where our cong's memorial will be held this year. We have 3 options. Either 1)we attend a meeting before the memorial and get the info, 2) we call one of the elders and get the info or 3) we wait to see if they contact us and if they don't we just miss for the first time ever. I'll tell you one thing, if option 3 plays out, and we get no calls, that to me would be a clear indication of how much we really matter to the congregation, and remove any shred of guilt I still feel over my fade.

  Like I said we have been MIA from the cong for 2 months, and quite irregular for much longer, and nobody seems to care. We haven't had any of the elders approach us or call us for a visit. They pretend like nothing has changed, they still schedule my wife and I on the TMS, even though we never complete the assignment. It sucks that nobody cares about us, but it's great that my fade is going well and ahead of schedule.

  My question is, in your opinion, is 2 months of inactivity to soon to miss the Memorial. Would that spark too much unwanted attention from congregation? In other words, will I start getting calls from elders wanting to come over to "encourage us"? Do you think it's better to go to the Memorial and continue with the fade afterwards and just fall under the radar?
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  OnTheWayOut

  You might get calls from the elders. You have to make your line in the sand somewhere. I would suggest option 3. But if you want to minimize their sticking their noses in it, if some elder or someone asked by the elders does contact you, unless you are prepared to lie, then go. But arrive barely on time or even a few minutes late and get out at "amen."
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  blondie

  I take it that congregation does not meet at the KH; do they all meet elsewhere if there are more than one?

  I was inactive for less than 3 months before the memorial....I did not go and haven't gone since, 9 years now. Do you know where and when another nearby congregation is meeting for that? If you go, why does it have to be the congregation you last attended?

  If you have a spiritual need, why not just celebrate at home with your family? Wine, matzoh, bible reading, prayer. Perhaps a nice meal afterwards.
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  leavingwt

  that to me would be a clear indication of how much we really matter to the congregation

  This is simply how it works. Cults shoot their wounded. They only want your obedience. They don't care about your ideas or your happiness.

  It sucks that nobody cares about us

  Yes, it does suck to realize that your "friends" are conditional upon your obedience, upon your status. Begin strengthening your ties with non-JW friends and family. Their love and affection is not dependent upon Brooklyn.
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  jamiebowers

  I'll tell you one thing, if option 3 plays out, and we get no calls, that to me would be a clear indication of how much we really matter to the congregation, and remove any shred of guilt I still feel over my fade.

  Please don't let a Memorial invitation give you the warm and fuzzies. Jws even invite "worldly" people to the Memorial. Just remember that you're only as good as your last time report to these people. It's part of being in a cult.
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  spawn

  Option 3 is your best choice. They only want to know those who bend over and take it from the GB, once you start to fade you become a liability to those who once called you "Friend". Some friends you can do without and the borg are Incenserity Personified!
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  cantleave

  Option 3.
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  undercover

  If you've been inactive for only a couple of months, I'd be willing to bet that you'll get an official sheparding call with an invite to the Memorial in the next couple of weeks.

  If that happens and you want to continue the fade, then go to the Memorial and then go back to fading afterwards. Memorials are easy meetings to go to. Everyone is so busy and it's so crowded you can be seen and noticed without really being paid a lot of attention to.

  But in the unlikely event that no one invites you to the Memorial, this is the perfect oppurtunity to really slide in to oblivion.
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  JWinprotest

  Yes Blondie, there are 4 congregations at this KH, and I believe this year it is our turn to go elsewhere.

  I don't feel the need to go, I just want to do what will bring the least amount of contact with anyone in the congregation. Did you get the dreaded calls after you missed your first?

  Begin strengthening your ties with non-JW friends and family.

  I've been doing this for over a year now. I still find it a bit difficult to open up to those on the outside, but I'm getting better.
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  nancy drew

  the memorial is a tentacle from the watchtower beast if you slice it off of you you'll feel alot better.