Does this happen to anyone else?

doublelife

This doesn't happen a lot but every once in a while, on a day that used to be my meeting night, I'll get a weird feeling. It happened today. It's hard to explain what it is. In my mind I know that I don't have to go to the meeting. But I still get the same feeling that I used to get on meeting nights when I would go. I feel stressed out, almost like anxiety. I was at work thinking, "It's Thursday." So automatically, I started thinking, "Oh, no. I have to rush home, cook dinner, and get ready for the meeting." I started feeling a panic. I told myself it was all in my mind but the reaction I had wouldn't go away. I had to stop working for a couple of minutes and calm down. The rest of the day I felt on edge though. I felt irritable because my body thought that I wasn't going to be able to come home and relax for the evening but instead go to the meeting. Does this sound weird to you? Am I just being a drama queen as my mom likes to call me?

dgp

I'm not a JW but I think this is something like a fear of ever going back. From what I gather, things like this one are common. No, you're not a drama queen.

kgirl

Have you been gone from the organization for a while or did you leave recently? I've not been since I was a teen but once in a while, I'll have dreams that I've been dragged to a meeting. I think that goes on permanently as an anxiety. I don't know.

doublelife

Thanks, dgp, for telling me I'm not just being a drama queen.

Kgirl, I've only stopped going about 5 months ago. I quit cold turkey, didn't bother with fading. I've heard people talk about having dreams but I wasn't sure if people randomly got a feeling during waking hours like the one I described.

doublelife

Oh, and welcome to the board, kgirl!

aSphereisnotaCircle

I've been out allmost 15 years and I still get meeting night anxiety almost daily.

As I'm reviewing what I need to accomplish that day, somewhere in my brain a voice says "is it meeting night?", followed very quickly by the awareness that it will never be meeting night again.

It's all over in less then a second. It's like when someone surprises you suddenly and you jump. For a very brief moment you are panicked and scared and in the next moment you realize it's just your friend and there is nothing to fear.

It's like PTSD.

But that day won't come for many years.

The good part about it is how quickly it's over, it's just a flash of anxiety and then it's gone.

When we were dubs the anxiety was non-stop.

kgirl

thanks doublelife. I hope your transition to just being who you wanna be gets easier. When you know in your heart you're a good person, nothing can take that feeling away from you.

Does this happen to anyone else?

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