Has Your Growth As A Person Been Stunted Because Of Being A Witness?

by minimus 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Yizuman

  

  Apparently it has.
• 

  dandingus

  I know for a fact that being raised a Witness stunted my social growth. I was very isolated as a child in my congregation. There were lots of girls in the congregation, but not one boy anywhere near my age (I'm male for those who may not have been following my posts). I actually made several friends in school when I was very young before my parents really became active as witnesses. And that might have served me well in later years had it not been for the fact that we moved right when my mom and dad started studying. Not being allowed to make friends anywhere growing up meant that I didn't really KNOW how to make them. I still don't relate to people well most days.

  Relationships are another story altogether. I think that the most severe way in which being a Witness from a young age affected me was my ability to interact with women. I'm getting better now, but it's been a long, long road. At first, since I didn't think I had anything to offer and didn't know how to offer it anyway, I tried to play mister cool. This went over terribly because I just came off like a jerk (I have another word for it, but I'm trying to consider certain people's sensibilities). It took me a long time to learn how to just be myself. I know that may sound strange, but it's true.

  As always, good question Min. I'm beginning to think that you and I have a lot in common, at least in the way we think about things.
• 

  dandingus

  I noticed that most kids raised in the witness always seemed behind in emotional and mental development.

  Balsam, fortunately for me I was always a curious person who wanted to know everything so mentally I'm actually ahead in many ways. It's the emotional component that in my case was affected.

  But you're right I think in the 3 to 4 year estimate depending on the age of the person. I think it gets worse over time as areas where you still haven't learned or grown become more glaringly obvious. I have several aunts and uncles who were raised around the witnesses as well, and even though only one of them has gotten baptised, they have all had their lives affected a great deal. One in particular has still not "grown up" in many ways even though he's well into his 40s.
• 

  purplesofa

  Any relationship that suppresses freedom to express yourself without judgements will stunt ones growth.

  Whether it's a spouse, parent, organization, religion.

  When we are taught to not seek out of the circle of control we can get stunted.

  While in many instances it can be a protection, it can also be suffocating.

  A person can become stagnant and cease growing.

  For myself I could not thrive in this kind of environment.

  As time goes by, others grow and we do not, and there is catch up time that needs to be made.

  It can be very awkward and embarrassing to be just start doing things at age forty that most people did and learned as teenagers.

  purps
• 

  dandingus

  It can be very awkward and embarrassing to be just start doing things at age forty that most people did and learned as teenagers.

  So , SO, SO TRUE!
• 

  Gregor

  As a second generation Born-In growing up surrounded by a big extended JW family (all very involved), dropping out of school, dealing with the draft issue, marrying another JW (she is one of the good things), becoming an elder, etc etc it would be impossible not to be impacted. When I was fully out at 37 it was a little bit of thawed out caveman, a little bit of kid in a candy store and a lot of healthy anger at the Borg. Not to mention sorting out my personal spiritual journey.

  PS Mr. Interrogator, I agree with Scully. Do you have any input re: your own experience?
• 

  minimus

  what Purps said.
• 

  wokeup1

  Absolutely. The way it "stunted" my growth is because really you didn't have to make decisions for yourself,

  pretty much everything was decided for you. At first I think i resisted that, but after several years I became weak.

  That is one of the biggest regrets I have in allowing myself and my children to become involved in this religion,

  I became weak. I regret daily that I was weak and did not protect my children(now grown). After 25 yrs. of being

  weak let me tell you its no easy chore to get your strength back. But its not to late and I am determined!! wokeup1
• 

  minimus

  Dandi, you must be awesome and smart then.
• 

  acolytes

  Hi Minimus

  Honest answer Yes & no (If thats makes any sence)

  Acolytes