Just got a visit from my mother....

by its_me! 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  its_me!

  She came by tonight. I was glad to see her, but it was so mentally exhausting. She is a very devoted JW, and the whole time, I was trying to say everything just right so as not to "tip her off" to my mindset. I don't want to upset her, but I want so badly to tell her how I feel about everything that I have learned, and all the questions that I have.

  She kept talking about how close we are to the end of this system of things. She did not ask me about my meeting attendance, I have a feeling that she already knows, but I could tell that she was gently trying to nudge me back in. It broke my heart. Now I feel empty, and frightened, and sad. Full of self doubt!
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  its_me!

  Oh, I should maybe pose a question with that. How do you who are out of the Org, but still have family in, feel when you see them?
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  Quandry

  Tread carefully. I know you'd like mom to know everything you've learned, but be patient. Keep reading here, and you may find well-thought out questions to ask in a way that is non-threatening to a strong JW. Some in this way have eventually helped get family out of the organization.

  In the meantime, keep in mind that only you really know your family, and how to proceed. Many posters here feel that it is dishonest to fade, others feel that it is the best way for them. It is your decision,and yours alone.

  I also will mention that a relationship with your mother is something to treasure. Mine has been dead now for almost two years and I miss her very much.
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  snowbird

  It can be very trying.

  Just try to keep in mind that your mother loves you very much.

  My little JW daughter is on the convention program tomorrow, and it makes me kind of sad that I won't be there.

  However, for me, there is no turning back now.

  Hang in there.

  Sylvia
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  its_me!

  Thank you Quandry. That is sound advice. I appreciate it. I don't know what I am going to do yet, I have had such bad experiences with the elders in the past, that I can barely stand the thought of having a meeting with them again. At the same time, I feel that I should voice the things that I have learned and ask for some answers from them. Of course, from reading some of the posts on this site, I am almost sure that I would not get any satisfactory response. I want to pray for help, as I have always done in the past, but I am not even sure who to pray to, or how to do it! I just hope that the scripture about the Holy Spirit and groanings unuttered applies to me!
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  its_me!

  Quandry--- Condolences on the passing of your mother. How are you healing? Do you have family support?

  Sylvia- I think that I may be getting to the point where there is no turning back as well. Do you get to see your grand daughter?
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  worldtraveller

  I don't know if you are married with children, but I think it is more important to be true to yourself. Your mother is lost in her belief. If fading works, do it. But you need to be true to your immediate family if you have a husband and kids. If you have no kids at this time, then just play the game. It still amazes me that when you ask a witness if shunning is appropriate or sanctioned by God, they deny they do it but do it notwithstanding.

  The fact that a society is more important than your family makes my blood boil.

  I am sorry to say that you may have already lost your mother to this corrupt society. I wish you well in your journey.

  Bill.
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  Quandry

  Quandry--- Condolences on the passing of your mother. How are you healing? Do you have family support?

  Well, yes, I have a husband and daughter. My mom was eighty-three. It still doesn't make it easier. Add to the fact we weren't as close as we could have been , because I was an uber witness for so long, and she and my dad were opposed. Dad was military.

  Healing? Well, as someone said, you don't get over it, you just get on with it.
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  shamus100

  It's me! Hang in there. It's worth it in the long run.

  Quandry,

  Nice to see you back.
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  Broken Promises

  I have some family who are still in, and it’s difficult when JW subjects come up, but we’ve come to the point where we just agree to disagree.

  Meeting with the elders will not do any good – when I tried to express my questions and disappointments to them in my meetings with them, all they can do is rote off the usual spiel and read a scripture or two and tell you to keep going to the meetings.

  Ironically, when I was half in/half out mentally, I used to pray to Jehovah begging that he helped me come back into “the truth” if it really was his organization.

  And you know what? The more I prayed, the more my eyes were opened to the real truth about the organization. I don’t believe in “God” anymore, but I have a feeling someone/thing was listening to my prayers and helped me out!