My dilemma…I have enjoyed a very fun and active dating life these last four years of freedom. Most dates end by me moving on (always another fish out there). Last fall I started dating someone I really like (as in I would like a commitment). However, he turns 50 in May (I am 44) and he has never been married, never had kids and has never even lived with anyone (absolutely not gay). He is the happiest person I have ever met. He comes over to my house every night to play Jeopardy; we usually spend weekends together at TGIF playing trivia. He comes with me to anything important pertaining to my girls. He claims he has never felt this way about any other woman before, but just cannot commit to anything other than having me as his best friend. I am crazy about him. My question is…. Has he just been alone too long to ever commit?????
A relationship question for middle aged men
by Magwitch 35 Replies latest social relationships
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OUTLAW
Last fall I started dating someone..
Theres your problem right there..
You`ve only been dating a few months..He has never been married..
Your pushing things to fast..Take your time..
.................. ...OUTLAW
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leavingwt
he has never been married,
He is the happiest person I have ever met.
I knew it. I doomed.
LWT (of the happily married clan)
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undercover
Only time will tell.
I'd have to say that anyone around our age (mid 40s up) and never married is probably pretty damn set in their ways. Hell, I'm married and I'm pretty darn set in my ways. I'd hate to see how bad I would have been without someone around to keep me in line.
If I had to start over, I'd decline. Dating, sharing weekends, sure, but I'd lean toward each of us having our own home and just enjoying the company (and the benefits) without the total committment and paperwork. But that's just me.
Maybe he has never met Miss Right...and now here you are...
Just give it time and let it play out naturally. I think gut instinct is usually right in these deals.
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Magwitch
Great, so what I am hearing is it may take him another 50 years to decide
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poopsiecakes
Magwitch, I'm not a middle aged man (thankfully haha) but you seem to be a person who enjoys and knows how to appreciate their independence. Is there any way that you can enjoy this relationship for what it is and not worry about the future? Maybe he's happy because he's been able to live his life however he wants and right now, he wants to be around you which is kinda great, no? If you want to continue to enjoy his company, pressuring him may ruin that - especially since it's still new....
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yknot
.... here is my experience after growing up in an all-boy neighborhood.....
He likes you for company.
You are not his 'Ms Right'..... if you are having sex with him... you are 'Ms Right Now' until he meets someone else.
If you enjoy his company, keep being friends (no benefits, unless you are needing a pick-me-up)!.....However it is important to realize that wanting more from this relationship is like fishing in an empty barrel.
I am sorry...
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Magwitch
Great Advice - Many Thanks!!!
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Think About It
Give it more time.....you've only been seeing him since fall. From what I can tell from your pic you look hot, so you definitely have a good chance to get him to commit. What are you wanting him to commit to right now....exclusive relationship, move in together, marriage?
Think About It
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dissed
Let's see, I'm middle-aged, but been married for 34 years, so I don't quite qualify as an expert.
But as the saying goes.....
"Never let school get in the way of a good education, nor marriage in the way of a good relationship."
Okay, I just made that up. But has your man experienced somthing bad in his life, perhaps his parents having problems? And is afraid to commit to anything deeper?
Time has a way of working these things out. Things can happen naturally as time goes on...or not at all.
So what is Ann Launders 'dissed' saying? Give it some more time Magwitch
