Vegetarian, eh... I have a FUNNY story about vegetarianism...
Gotta issue a disclaimer, first... (A-Hem!) This story concerns my husband's former supervisor and the supervisor's wife - let's call them Steve and Gloria, for identification - who were originally from Texas... But they'd just moved to Colorado.
Colorado used to be the skinniest state in the U.S. Steve and Gloria arrived, looked around, looked at themselves, and decided some dietary changes were in order. So, with (apparently) GREAT enthusiasm, they took up the lifestyle of vegetarianism...
EXCEPT - !!!!! They never DID ANY RESEARCH to see what that lifestyle might PROPERLY consist of!!! [That alone was mind-boggling, but wait! I'm not thru...]
I found this out when we were invited to their house for a 'work-related' holiday dinner - a 'vegetarian' chile dinner. My husband, who is a self-proclaimed 'carnivore' [think T-Rex...], assured me that there would be plenty of food that I could eat at their dinner. So I didn't eat much for at least three hours before we left for their house - and I'm hypoglycemic....
We show up. The chile is almost gone, and the only OTHER stuff they have to eat is: white-flour-and-white-sugar Ritz crackers, commercial party cracker/peanut mix, white-sugar-orange sorbet, and one hard block of cheddar cheese....
I went into a mild state of shock. Nothing to eat, and I was starving!!! [I tend to stay away from - well, I USED to, and that was why I was so slim - refined ANYTHING...] I wandered around their kitchen/dining/living room for a bit, then mentioned to Gloria that it might have been a GOOD thing to have a potluck, as I could have brought tabbouli, cous-cous, or hummus.
She looked DOWN her nose at me as though I were a cockroach, and in a thoroughly snotty voice, declared, "We don't allow meat in the house!"
Now, I don't know if you're familiar with tabbouli, cous-cous, or hummus; but generally there's NO MEAT in these dishes!!! And they are pretty much well-known to MOST real vegetarians - at least, in our area... The first thing that flashed thru my mind was - well, after, "WHAT AN IDIOT!!" - was that she'd assumed I'd bring meat 'cause my hubby is a T-Rex... So then, starving, I asked her if she had any carrots or other vegetables.
She goes to the refrigerator and opens it. I swear this is the truth - there was NOTHING IN THE FRIDGE!!! ABsolutely nothing!! ESPECially in the vegetable crisper!!!
She opens the freezer, and there's a bathtub-sized vat of "Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Rocky Road" or something like that - I don't usually eat ice cream, and especially not "Ben and Jerry's", so I didn't recognize the particular variety...
She FINALLY found something for me to eat when she pulls open the PANTRY and finds some stale, wilted baby carrots - which I devoured. After I had something in my tummy - not much, mind you, but something - I asked her, "What kind of vegetarian are you?" Inquiring, not sarcastic, tho one might EXPECT a bit of sarcasm at this point...
She had a blank look in her eyes, like she didn't understand the question, so I started describing the various types of vegetarianism - there's pure "Vegan", who won't eat anything that kills the plant, there's straight "Vegetarian", who won't eat any animal products, there's "Ovo-Lactate Vegetarian", who won't eat meat but eats milk/cheese/yogurt/butter, there's "Pico Vegetarian", who will eat fish in addition to plants, there's "Pollo Vegetarian", who will eat chicken/fowl in addition to plants - and I don't consider the last two to be "true" vegetarians, 'cause they're eating some form of what I would call "MEAT"...
She STILL had that blank look in her eyes, so I prompted again, and she sort of woke up and said, "The - uh, the milk and..."
Me: "The Ovo-Lactate Vegetarian"??
Her: "Yeah! That one!!"
Sheeeeeeeeaaaasshh! I couldn't get out of there fast enough!!! Later, I described the event to ANOTHER vegetarian and asked her about the vat of "Ben and Jerry's" in Gloria's freezer; she hung her head and said, "Yes, we're "Junk-food-itarians", too..."
Hope you all enjoyed this tale - not quite related to the topic, but hopefully funny enough to entertain! Zid