I was in constant conflict that no one wanted to discuss CHARACTER traits
That's cuz "character traits" aren't mentioned in the Bible and more significantly, in the WT literature.
Character traits not required to be appointed as an elder:
Honesty
Intelligence
Compassion
Humility
Altruism
Generosity
Kindness
Come to think of it, these are most often impediments to being a "successful" elder.
Here are the only determining factors in elder appointments, in order of importance:
1) Field service average
2) Field service average for wife if married
3) Kids not getting into too much trouble, progressing as appropriate for age (unbaptized pub. by 12 or 13, baptized no later than 15 or 16)
4) Being "visible" in congregation (answering at meetings, volunteering to clean, volunteering at assemblies)
5) Gets along well with elders - does what is told, has a "yesssuh, massuh, suh" attitude toward whatever icky assignment is given
6) If the elders meeting isn't running too long, after discussing all of the above, some nerdy goody-2-shoes newly-appointed elder might mention something about the Biblical qualifications. The old hands might indulge him while secretly rolling their eyes.