My first experience at a Christian church--for what it's worth

by bluecanary 33 Replies latest jw experiences

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  thomas15

  bluecanary,

  What you describe is very typical of most protestant church services. I go to an Evangelical Free church which is "baptistic" in many ways.

  I have a question about something you said:

  The padded pews were comfortable and allowed for sitting closely with family. The church was decorated in a very simple and dignified manner. Nothing like the hideous décor that KHs are designed with. There were Bibles and hymnals available at all the seats. I don't think anyone would mind if someone just sat and read from the Bible throughout the service. There was no need to feel left out or go to a special service counter to get the materials needed for the service. There was no need to purchase materials (through donation or otherwise) and lug them back and forth from your home.

  Explain to me about JWs buying items for the service. What do you buy, how much and how often.

  Any church that I would attend, most of the attendees would bring a Bible with them to church. They can bring any translation they want (as long as it isn't a NWT ). We of course don't buy our Bibles from the church. Also, Bibles and hymn books are right at the pew. No one owns their own hynmal and if you don't have a Bible or if you don't want to lug your own Bible to church you can use theirs.

  My Sunday school class is using a book that is available at any christian bookstore. We don't have to have this book but at the beginning of the class those who wanted to own it could buy it from the teacher. They bought them in bulk and at a discount. They were sold at cost.
• 

  bluecanary

  Were you a JW thomas? (I can't figure out how to ask that question without it sounding snarky. I just want to know how much experience you have attending a KH.)

  I'm referring to the way all the Bibles and publications are produced by the Society. In the old days you had to purchase them. Now you are expected to give an undetermined donation for them (which I suspect actually makes them more money) and of course, they're constantly coming out with more publications that you will need. Every member of the family is expected to own their own copy. We had an enormous briefcase full of books and magazines for a family of four.

  Everyone had their own song book, Bible, ministry school book, watchtower, kingdom ministry and whatever book we were covering at the bookstudy. In addition, a family might carry with them a reference Bible, All Scriptures Inspired book, Organized to Accomplish our Ministry book (or whatever they're calling these days), Reasoning book and any other book that may be pertinent to this particular meeting. This is what people carry back and forth to the meetings.
• 

  Scarred for life

  I attend a Methodist church. We have a traditional service as well as a contemporary one. The service is similar to what you described. It's absolutely nothing like what the JWs say. They are liars about so many things.
• 

  thomas15

  bluecanary,

  Thank you for your response. I have never been a JW. My neighbors when we were growing up were and they took us to the KH a few times but I was maybe in 6th or 7th grade at the time. I have a lot of very strange memories of them though. The mother became a JW and slowly dragged the kids in against the will of the father.

  I remember going to the oldest kids wedding. She was the same age as my oldest sister and at one time they were best friends. The wedding was 1974 and I remember the father being upset about the fact that he only met the guy her daughter was marrying the day of the wedding. She was 18 years old and just out of High School. They were going to poineer. Of course I didn't know the implications of all this untill later in life and started having kids of my own and researching the ways of the watchtower. Several of the kids in this family went to Brooklyn. We lived in Monmouth county NJ.

  Tom
• 

  Krettnawe

  Chalam the discussions they have about sex are educational and hardly graphic. Trying to connect that with some sort of disproportional pedophile problem you think they have is not only hatefull, but reflective of your heart at this time. I pray you are able to let go of your anger, and quit making claims that have no merit whatsoever.
• 

  Krettnawe

  I have been attending a Church on Wednesday nights that just finished a series of studies on the DISC personality profiles and how those apply to Bible characters.
  
  It was part of the Men's ministry, and was attended by mostly married men, and it was designed for us to understand our wives better and to improve our communication with our better halfs.
  
  Any way I was struck by two things.
  
  1) First thing is, every person I have met so far is just as caring, just as concerned about morality, and just as focused at living a GODLy life as the JW.
  
  I wasn't raised in the xenophobia that exists amongst JW's, so this didnt come as a big shock to me but something else did.....
  
  The presenter had his wife get up and tell us thier testimony.
  
  She laid it all out for us about her and her marriage and how they have grown in Christ.
  
  She talked about how they first met, then she talked about when they were married the struggles they went through, and it got to the point where she wanted to just leave and take the kids with her.
  
  NO immorality, just a serious communication gap.
  
  She went on to explain how GOD helped them through it, how they struggled with a SON that had to be hospitalized because of depression, and how they got to the point they are today.

  What I was struck by was the absolute lack of pertintiousness this older couple presented themselves. They talked about thier struggles, talked about thier weaknesses, and really laid thier life out there un-edited, for all to see. They explained they still dont have it all together, the still struggle from time to time, but what they have learned to do is resolve issues quickly. The DIFFERENCE I noticed with this presentation and the scripted JW presentations is that there was no facade, no radiation of having it all together, and no claim to have an absolute answer. There was no Jehovah came in to my life and we lived happily ever after. I always felt that people at the KH were more interested in the outside of the cup so to speak, and I never got to see the insides of thier cups, save for a few close ones. There was always this wall, this sort of on guard approach to conversation. dont get me wrong the JW's were nice, but thier was this lack of intimacy as if noone wanted to share too much. It took a huge burden off my shoulders to see there were people like me, who struggle from time to time with lifes series of small criseses, and for the first time I realied I didnt live in a cacoon. It was refreshing, I felt like I was closer to these people than I had been to most of the JW's in almost five years of attending the KH. So, I guess my question is... Are JW's so interested in outward appearances that they are missing an ingredient of intimacy that is needed to forge real relationships amongst the unwashed masses that is mankind?

  Little lamb Modbury, Australia

  What I was struck by was the absolute lack of pertintiousness this older couple presented themselves. They talked about thier struggles, talked about thier weaknesses, and really laid thier life out there un-edited, for all to see. They explained they still dont have it all together, the still struggle from time to time, but what they have learned to do is resolve issues quickly. The DIFFERENCE I noticed with this presentation and the scripted JW presentations is that there was no facade, no radiation of having it all together, and no claim to have an absolute answer. There was no Jehovah came in to my life and we lived happily ever after. I always felt that people at the KH were more interested in the outside of the cup so to speak, and I never got to see the insides of thier cups, save for a few close ones. There was always this wall, this sort of on guard approach to conversation. dont get me wrong the JW's were nice, but thier was this lack of intimacy as if noone wanted to share too much. It took a huge burden off my shoulders to see there were people like me, who struggle from time to time with lifes series of small criseses, and for the first time I realied I didnt live in a cacoon. It was refreshing, I felt like I was closer to these people than I had been to most of the JW's in almost five years of attending the KH. So, I guess my question is... Are JW's so interested in outward appearances that they are missing an ingredient of intimacy that is needed to forge real relationships amongst the unwashed masses that is mankind?

  Little lamb Modbury, Australia
• 

  Krettnawe

  Sorry guys I made this observation on another board, copied it, and it got kind of messed up.

  Here was the last part:

  What I was struck by was the absolute lack of pertintiousness this older couple presented themselves.
  
  They talked about thier struggles, talked about thier weaknesses, and really laid thier life out there un-edited, for all to see.
  
  They explained they still dont have it all together, the still struggle from time to time, but what they have learned to do is resolve issues quickly.
  
  The DIFFERENCE I noticed with this presentation and the scripted JW presentations is that there was no facade, no radiation of having it all together, and no claim to have an absolute answer.
  There was no Jehovah came in to my life and we lived happily ever after.
  
  I always felt that people at the KH were more interested in the outside of the cup so to speak, and I never got to see the insides of thier cups, save for a few close ones.
  
  There was always this wall, this sort of on guard approach to conversation.
  
  dont get me wrong the JW's were nice, but thier was this lack of intimacy as if noone wanted to share too much.
  
  It took a huge burden off my shoulders to see there were people like me, who struggle from time to time with lifes series of small criseses, and for the first time I realied I didnt live in a cacoon.
  It was refreshing, I felt like I was closer to these people than I had been to most of the JW's in almost five years of attending the KH.
  
  So, I guess my question is...
  
  Are JW's so interested in outward appearances that they are missing an ingredient of intimacy that is needed to forge real relationships amongst the unwashed masses that is mankind?
• 

  littlebird

  Are JW's so interested in outward appearances that they are missing an ingredient of intimacy that is needed to forge real relationships amongst the unwashed masses that is mankind?

  Yes. They do not encourage relationships outside of the congregation. Family relationships (of those not living in the household) and relationships with neighbors, co- workers and class mates are only encouraged on the basis of "necessary business" or the jw's ability to "witness" to such family members. It is highly discouraged bying using the scripture in 1Cor. 15:33. "Bad association spoils useful habits" If you are not "a lover of Jehovah" AKA a Jehovah's witness, you are bad association and could lead the Jehovah's Witness out of Jehovah's organization. (I'll leave references to Blondie or Leolia, I don't have the info here at work)

  BlueC, Thanks for your post, I was suprised the first time I attended church, that it was nearly as scary as jw's make it sound. I was impressed that the one I attended was more focused on worship & praise, then 2 hr. lecturing about how great they are.
• 

  White Dove

  How about that break they have in the service to "welcome one another?" Shaking hands and saying a greeting to those around you. I like that.
• 

  serenitynow!

  "Chalam the discussions they have about sex are educational and hardly graphic."

  Krettnawe, I have to strenuously disagree with you on this. I remember maybe about 8 years ago being at a WT discussion that was all about sex. For whatever reason, the GB felt it necessary to commit an entire article to what kind of sexual relations are appropriate for Christians. There was actually a paragraph that specifically mentioned oral and anal sex. I remember thinking, why on earth am I sitting in the hall on a Sunday morning discussing various sex acts? I don't know the reason for the article in the first place. If you're not married, you're not supposed to have any kind of sex, and if you are married, people should be minding their own business and not worrying about what you do. I thought it was very inappropriate and graphic. And what exactly was educational about that? Maybe it was educational for the little kids who probably didn't know about such things prior to studying them in a "religious" magazine.

  I will agree that the Society's view of making sexual matters a topic for congregational discussion is not at the root of the pedophile problem. The Society is just a corrupt, deceitful organization interested only in money and power, NOT the individual, and are definitely not concerned with following scripture.