Friendship with the opposite sex (page 2)

bluecanary

Farkel I hate to egg you on in your fowl joke but you know birds of a feather stick together. Whether you have a cock is irrelevant.

I recently started a similar thread. YES it is entirely possible to be friends with members of the opposite sex (or same if you are not hetero) and it be okay. It's more difficult, but certainly possible. I prefer male companionship.

straightshooter

When I was in my twenties and thirties I had friends of the opposite sex with no problem. Even when I became a jw, I continued to have friends of the opposite sex with no problem.

Then around in my forties the WTS started to counsel of the dangers of being with the opposite sex. Because of the WTS my views and friends sadly changed.

Is there potential dangers in driving a car? Yes, but many drive with no problem. Is there potential dangers of having the opposite sex as a friend? Yes, but problems do not always happen.

flipper

My wife Mrs. Flipper and myself have a good number of friends here on the board we talk to fairly regularly of the opposite sex. She's friends to the guys I talk with on the board, and I'm friends to the lady's she talks with. Like Brocephas said if everybody knows their boundaries and acts with respect , dignity, and maturity towards others of the opposite sex - very rarely would there ever be a problem arise. There are some things my wife and I only would talk about together , and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure THAT one out ! LOL !

So, yeah, by all means friendship with the opposite sex is beneficial. Men need to hear women's points of view and women benefit from a mature guy friend's views too. Life is challenging and getting both sexes perspectives as a friend can be very helpful

LoriJis

Thank you for all your comments. I also believe it is ok to be friends with the opposite sex as long as you are open about it with your spouse and know where the boundaries are. Obviously too much personal time alone can lead to something but if the relationship is just friendship...i see no problem. I know people who their best of friends whom they confide in is from the opposite sex and there have been not been any problems. I think as long as ur dont hide and keep it open.

But ironhill does bring out a good point....what if your spouse or partner has a problem with you having friends of the opposite sex. Do you give in whether you agree with it or not? Or do you continue to maintain these friendships?

jamiebowers

But ironhill does bring out a good point....what if your spouse or partner has a problem with you having friends of the opposite sex. Do you give in whether you agree with it or not? Or do you continue to maintain these friendships?

I think it depends on the nature of the opposing spouse. If he or she is conrolling in other aspects and/or has the tendency to isolate the spouse from others, then, I would disagree with the opposer. Sometimes when a spouse objects to certain friendships, it's because he or she can see that the friend has a sexual attraction. This has happened a few times with my husband and me.

One of his co-workers was always so friendly and helpful to me. I had no idea, but he told my husband that he would jump at the chance to marry me. Also I had a female co-worker who, given half a chance, would've slept with my husband. He didn't have a clue until I pointed it out to him. Would it have been a good idea for either of us to pursue a close friendship with them? I think not.

ana_dote

Well from personal experience....my current best friend is of the opposite sex...and his wife is totally fine with it. It shows that we all have a healthy respect for one another. I respect the sanctity and importance of their marriage to never even let any kind of inappropriate feelings develop, which...no offense to him, wouldn't probably happen anyway lol I view him as the amazingly awesome brother I never had. And I love the fact that his wife trusts me in that manner instead of being a typical paranoid, jealous, and skeptical female.

If, however, there was some level of discomfort on her part (and especially on his part)....there should always be respect shown. The wife should be respectful enough of her husband to explain her uneasy feelings, the husband should respect his wife's feelings and the third party should also realize that sometimes it can be a tricky situation. I think a compromise is POSSIBLE in such situations....perhaps limiting the amount and type of contact that takes place (i.e., never being alone together, not spending hours on the phone with the 3rd party, etc.) but sometimes such a compromise isn't possible. If it is not, then you must ultimately do what you need to do to preserve your marriage if you truly love one another. You have made a lifetime committment to your spouse and should honor and love them enough to be willing to give up a friend if it keeps the peace. HOWEVER...I PERSONALLY do not feel that anyone should be so insecure as to demand that their partner get rid of a good friend, simply because they are paranoid.

At any rate....it is VERY possible to have and maintain healthy, beautiful and fulfilling relationships with those of the opposite sex (or same sex, as was mentioned, if you're not hetero). Everyone just has to be realistic about the situation and about their own feelings.

Heartbreaker

I think it matters very little what the person you are friends with has for genitals. As long as you don't intend on getting them out and using them with your friend, then it's just friends. If there are feelings, desires or wants to use your genitals, then it's a problem. If you use this friendship to get something intimate/emotional that you don't get with your spouse, then it can be dangerous....but not something forbidden in my opinion. What it boils down to is to respect the opinion of your significant other, it matters little what everyone else feels about the situation, as it's outside of their reality. It's only yours.

Friendship with the opposite sex