Define "Ex jw"?

by highdose 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  highdose

  Inspired from another current thread. I note some people are asking if they are allowed to participate in a questionaire for ex jw's if they are just fading or have not been DF'd?

  My own situation is this: Tecnicaly i am a JW, baptised as a young tweeny and never reproved, df'd or Da'd. But i consider myself to be a EX- JW because in myself i know i'm not one anymore. I'm not going to allow myself to be DF'd or DA'd purely because it would break my cover in the land that i've since emigrated to. A land where no one knows about my former life and where i have the freedom to tell the local JW's to f*** off like all the other locals do, without fear of punishment from the elders. also theres no way i would allow them to condem me like that, i do not consider that they have the right.

  Likewise my view would be those are trying to fade, they are doing this because they are no longer JW's in their heart. They fade purely as a way to avoid trouble with the JW cult and their familes.

  I think you are either a JW in your heart or your not.

  Thats my view at least, whats yours?
• 

  alanv

  Totally agree. I used to belong to a tennis club, but now I dont, therefor I am a an ex tennis club member. It's not rocket science is it.

  Like you I have faded because of the terrible consequencies if you are in a JW family and you formally write to tell them you no longer wish to be one.

  There must be thousands of ex witnesses that have faded and would love to tell the WT what they think of them but the WT has made that impossable

  So we do the next best thing, and that is warn others about this evil cult, and that way hopefully we are stopping many others make the same mistake as we did.
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  Mad Sweeney

  I know with absolute certainty that I'm not one in my heart. And I've broken free from a great amount of the mind-control (I don't think a born-in EVER is 100% free of it) at this point. However, at the point of fade I'm in, I'm still viewed as a JW by everyone who knows me. I'm looked at as "weak" or "sick" by those IN and as "lapsed" by "worldly" associates. So what am I really?

  I don't know.
• 

  cantleave

  Being and EXJW is a mindset.

  For me the most important things are

  Do you still believe it ?

  Do you Still give financial support?

  Are you still being controlled by it?

  Are you allowing your children to be indoctrinated by it?

  If the answer to all the above is "No" - then you are an EX-JW
• 

  Witness 007

  Defined = Ex JW : Ex Jehovahs witness...
• 

  serenitynow!

  I believe like cantleave that being an ex JWis a mindset, because people can be physically away from the congregation and still hold all the orgs beliefs. I am not DFd or DAd but I do consider myself an ex. I havent preached in 8 years or been regular at the meetings, and very recently have come to really know and hate that organization. I do feel though that getting past feeling controlled by the org is a process, not something that can be overcome quickly.
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  PaulJ

  "I think you are either a JW in your heart or your not."

  I think that hits the nail on the head!!

  It's a good point though- in a more general way- while many are ex-jw's, do we actually 'define' ourselves as such? Do we actually define ourselves by something we are 'not'? Or do we ascribe to our existing belief system whether that be christian, pagan, atheist, agnostic, hindu, pastafarian etc?
• 

  The Finger

  cantleave,

  It sounds like I was never in it to start with.
• 

  Terry

  Here is how my mind works.

  Ex comes from the Greek eks which means OUT OF (i.e. EXODUS = the Jews came out of Egypt).

  I came out of the religion, the Kingdom Hall and the Authority over me.

  The hard part was the obverse side of that coin!

  I had make the writing, the books and magazines and the belief system come OUT OF me!!

  That took much longer!

  Once a JW always a JW because there are radioactive elements that find their way into every cell in your body. You cannot completely rid yourself of the toxic side effects. You mind and your thinking are bifurcated at some level.

  A dramatic way of explaining it would be to say it is not unlike Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

  Naturaly, all the above depends on how long and how deep your were IN in the first place.

  I'll point out something which continues to affect me...

  When I went to prison over the "neutrality issue" from 1967-1969 I was attacked from behind by an inmate who wanted to rape me. Although he was not successful it deeply affected me in some indelible primal way.

  To this day, if anybody is standing behind me when I'm working I have the strongest reflex imaginable to spin around and confront them!!

  I can't stand for a stranger to get too close to me when they are talking. I don't like to be touched even in a casual way unless and until I know that person really really well.

  That is what being an EX JW does for you.

  Just my anecdotal two cents worth....
• 

  poopsiecakes

  This is just my opinion, but it seems to me that the witnesses identify themselves by the preaching work. When they spout off their numbers, it's always the average and peak publishers that are used to say how many witnesses there are worldwide. Therefore, if you're no longer preaching and haven't turned in a report in over a year, you are de facto no longer a witness. Your number does not count in the report tally. The mindset may or may not still be there, but anyone not turning in a report is not a JW.