The effect of this religion on my children & the action I had to take - Part III

by jambon1 31 Replies latest jw experiences

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  jambon1

  Thanks for the lovely comments guys & girls.

  Although I am in a very good place at them moment, it's not always been the case. In fact over the last 4 years my marriage has taken hit after hit. Generally because of my concern over my children which repeatedly fell on deaf ears. At last, I can be settled in my mind now & I no longer feel responsible somehow for them being screwed up due to any neglect on my part. It took one occasion of my daughter showing exactly what was going on in her mind for me to get it sorted.

  But this is only the culmination of years of torment, problems with alcohol, anxiety & marital difficulties. It has been very, very difficult. Hopefully the events of the last 6 months or so means that our family can finally move on. We have reached a comprimise which more than suits me & more importantly means mental safety for my kids.

  I also feel that the turn of events has been a victory over the WT organisation. I am just so determined not to have to play by their rules & outrageous requirements for kids. If my wife wants to 'play ball' & cow-tow to them then that is her decision. But on a day to day basis that religion has pretty much no influence over the lives of myself & my children.

  Regards,

  J
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  dinah

  Jambon, great job!!

  Since I was born-in with a devout Mom and an "unbelieving" Dad, I know exactly what your young daughter was thinking. I never realized how much that affected me until I became an adult. After leaving, it was the first time I would actually get closer to my Dad. Of course, being df'd, I thought we'd just die together.

  More parents need to stand up to the WT like you did. It is just WRONG to teach small children all the death and destruction they teach. Pre-school children don't need to know about fornication and oral sex either. The things they teach in the public talk are not appropriate for small children.

  Your wife is probably facing alot of pressure from the congregation, I'm sure. It sounds like maybe she does see that something isn't right. I'm happy things turned out well for your children. You are an awesome Dad to protect them they way you did.
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  SixofNine

  I'm curious, how is your daughter taking the new "no meetings" policy? What was said to her about this? I would suggest you and your wife talk about religion in front of your kids.

  It's amazing to me that your daughter thought you might be worried about not being in paradise with her. Is she now worried about her own salvation?
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  awildflower

  Jambon you have done a terrific job in your writing of your experience a truly beneficial read. I am so thrilled that you fought for your kids and have won. Your wife will come along but I'm so happy you two are at a place of compromise. The book by Steven Hassan on mind control could really help your situation if you haven't already read it. It's been talked about extensively on this forum. I'm so proud of you and your parenting. You are your children's protector, and I wish more kids had fathers like you.

  I also feel that the turn of events has been a victory over the WT organization. I am just so determined not to have to play by their rules & outrageous requirements for kids.

  What a profound statement. I truly love that!! It makes a huge statement, to those at the hall who will notice, when your wife comes without the kids.
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  peaches

  (((((((((((((((((((((((((((( JAMBON 1 )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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  jambon1

  In answer to sixofnine - Our daughter was sat down & it was explained to her that it is best for mum not to take her to the meetings. That she should decide what she wants to do when she is much older.

  Lots of chats from myself have helped the situation. I have reassured my daughter that JW beliefs are just that - a set of people that believe a certain thing. This doesn't make them right or what they believe to be 100% correct just as it is the case with all the other thousands of religions out there.

  My reassurance & my dialogue with her seems to have assured her & she seems to be fine.

  Once again, thanks for all the kind comments.
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  BabaYaga

  Wow. Cheers to you... and to your wife.

  Thank you for writing this so very heartfelt and so very well.

  Love,
  Baba.
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  jambon1

  Thanks so much for all the feedback on the story.

  May I just add that I would be greatful for any information of websites that I could post my experience on. I have had a few lovely pm's that have indicated that other ex-jw sites may appreciate the story.

  You have all been a fantastic support over the years & I appreciate this site very much.

  With love from Edinburgh, Scotland.

  Jambon
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  Mickey mouse

  Thank you so much for sharing your story. It has certainly given me much to think about.

  x
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  Scarred for life

  Great story. Thanks for sharing. Congratulations to you. You are a GREAT father. Truly you are. I have hope for your wife.