I just went through the experience once again , made it as far as, "unbaptized publisher" , They are so anal and petty it just disgusts me . They suck the joy out of it all .I was so pissed by some of their petty antics I simply told them I resign from the church .
Your Current thoughts
by zzaphod 19 Replies latest jw friends
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Scarred for life
There is no joy among Jehovah's Witnesses. It's not allowed. I think that may be one of the most harmful things about being raised as a JW.
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daringhart13
As of right now: all of the above
I think of all the time I spent dedicating myself to an organization and people that flat out could care less.....
I think about not going to college and having to struggle to make a living now....
I think about the awful sisters I've dated.....
Enh...........I think I'm angry today........
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jaguarbass
Anger, They stole the best years of my life.
And the big shots in brooklyn knew they were full of shxt and using us.
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Heaven
I have a number of emotions depending on the situation.
I feel anger regarding their destructive policies and doctrines and the damage they cause to people and their families.
I feel sadness and pity for the people who have been negatively affected.
I feel happy I was true to myself and decided it wasn't for me.
I feel sadness, loss, and emptiness at what could have been in my family and my life and wasn't.
I feel a disconnectedness -- a feeling that I don't belong anywhere.
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Mickey mouse
Pissed off.
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Lieu
Contrived.
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jambon1
My emotions are mixed.
I've been on a journey since my association with this religion. I am strong now & I love the fact that I feel that I have defeated their manipulation.
Many times in recent months I have felt empowered & enriched due to my experiences.
I hope it continues.
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not a captive
Immense relief and amazing joy that at age 58 I am still alive and now I am FREE to listen to God and follow Jesus!
I wrote the elders over a year ago that I could not participate in congregation worship because I had come to an unshakable conviction that a teaching we propagated --though not on a major doctrine--was wrong and really defamatory to God's loving and holy ways. During my 21 years as a baptized Witness I had researched the matter using the Bible first and foremost, also the scriptural reasoning from our own reference material, Strong's exhaustive Concordance and common sense.
Every Witness knows that there is no teaching that is "true" until it is pronounced so from the platform. I raised the issue of my conscience, to affirm the scripture both in the Hebrew original and in English translations as opposed to the grotesque rendition that in the literature. One of the three brothers who questioned me said NO : I must speak the version as expressed, for instance, in the children's bible storybook even if I thought the Bible's words allow for a much richer, deeper, kinder and harmonious and truly accurate account. I told him I couldn't read it to an adult much less a child.
The circuit overseer asked why I hadn't posed the matter as a question to the Branch. When I told him I did not have a question he was plainly disgusted with me. I was warned not to discuss my dissent with fellow Witnesses. I didn't but I also told the brothers I could no longer sit by while a variant version to the Bible was read and commented on. The brothers met with me again. One who indicated a measure of agreement in the reasons for my conviction asked me to please wait to see the Faithful Slave bring forth this truth. I pointed out that truth exists apart from the endorsement of the Society and any thing that is NOT true shouldn't wait for a vote. They gave up and asked me what I wanted to do. I said I would write the Branch to see if they could help with the stalemate.
Months went by after I wrote the Branch. The brothers paid a few formal shepherding calls, asked for a copy of my letter and called Bethel themselves to see how if they had my letter. They were advised to encourage me to attend meeting until their answer arrived. It finally came in a large envelope signed Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. No personal names of course. But they provided a counterpoint to my presentation.
The local elders had a copy as well (I had asked that they receive a copy of the response sent to me.) They met with me as the letter suggested in the event that the Branch response failed to reconcile me to agreement. I told the brothers that I found their reasoning not persuasive and parts of it made me laugh. It was evasive on the point that should have provided us with common ground: the society's literature that corroborate with the conclusion I had reached. It was not kind either. It was implied that ones who disagreed with the teachings of the Society and this particular matter were lacking faith were actually raging against Jehovah.
Still forbidden to talk to any Witnesses on the matter, they called me back another time and read me a couple of scripture that admonished us to avoid sectarian divisions. I told them that far from desiring another religion or sect to come up, I was determined never to join a sect or religion again as it seems ever more clear that such things prevent us from following only the Lamb where ever HE goes. They never mention disfellowshipping me though I told them that our literature clearly indicates that that is precisely what is advised in such cases as mine. The two brothers who had counseled me almost exclusively through this openly told me that they had personal regard for me and wished I would continue to fellowship as one of them. But I told them that even if I never were never able to talk to my friends ever again I would not lie to people that we Witnesses follow the Bible since they would not let me hold to it over the literature. They knew this was the case. That was the last I have spoken to them. A month after that I sent them a letter to disassociate from the Organization. No one has contacted me since.
This entire matter has been brutal. I became a ghost for over a year. I have seven children and am nearly finished raising my last daughter. I work fulltime at a low-wage job. I could not easily understand how I could be at odds with the great advocates of Truth and the Scriptures. But I could not see how I could "unbelieve" or undo my conviction of conscience. My oldest daughter (Not a Witnass) became very concerned for me and urged me to get counseling. I went for one session that she paid for. When I heard myself babbling through seemingly disjointed events and pains in my life I knew that no human could unravel the mess. I resolved to separate myself from all demands, just go to work and come home and only pray to Jehovah to heal this misery and show me how to be a Christian outside of this spirit-crushing Organization. Since God answered my prayers before I had ever heard of Jehovah's Witnesses I trust Him to hear my prayers now. I am confident of his loving care in a way that was lost to me over the past 21 years.
Slowly I have come through this dark time. My happiness has only increased with each passing week. My entire Christian life has become bright. I pray. My children have become happier--so has my husband. Yet my dearest friends never call me though I do not believe they have announced "Sister So-and-so is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses". The remark last a Witness-friend said to me was a warning against going to "church": Don't be a dog returning to its vomit.
If I returned to the Organization,that would be returning to my vomit. The Truth has set me free. I will never let any religion capture me again. The Witnesses got me and they get others who believe they must fulfil Christian dedication in a formal membership.They come to your door making you feel confident that finally there is a group that is really following Jesus the Bible way. At first they seem to dispense Bible information as the International Bible Students used to do with no strings attached, but then they pre-empt Jesus and Jehovah by mediating every thought, every action. There is a script but there is not freeness of speech. They leave no time for talking to God and make us feel like prideful pretenders if we do such a thing as I have done. What shame it is that so many of the women Witnesses I have known were on anti-depressants.
The only true religion is no religion. Faith, union with God through Jesus-- but no religion
Thank you for this forum. I know I wrote a long post but it is better than going to a counselor which would not help and I cannot afford.No one can know what this is like except others who have been through this most destructive of all religious groups.
