We can give gifts all year long

by bluecanary 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  bluecanary

  This is the famous witness saying in defense of the way they don't give gifts on holidays. Of course, even though we all said it, no one in my family did this. None of my friends' families did this. I was in multiple congregations and never knew of any witnesses who gave gifts on occasions other than anniversaries, weddings or baby showers--hmm, it seems they ONLY give gifts on special occasions. Everyone has a birthday, not everyone gets married or has a baby. Just another way that they are very exclusionary.

  Anyway, I started this thread to brag that my boyfriend showed up on my doorstep today with a rather grand gift for me, just because. He gave me the Rock Band game! Yes, it's Easter, but it's not the custom to give gifts other than candy on this holiday. I wasn't expecting a gift; I didn't have to think about getting one for him in return. This was truly an "anytime I feel like it because I love you" gift. And that's on top of birthdays and Christmas.

  Worldly people understand that special occasions are just one kind of opportunity to express appreciation or affection.
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  juci32

  Those are the best gifts! The unexpected ones..too cute :-)
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  dissed

  Yes, this true....please enjoy your heartfelt gift!
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  WTWizard

  I noticed that, too. The witlesses boast that they get gifts all the time, and that they are not missing Christmas. However, I notice that they rarely get anything of value.

  I have seen this even in families that I never saw before. I went to a Grand Boasting Session once, and there were three children. Seems they had a toy binoculars from a Happy Meal (and you know how crappy the optics in those things are--stamped plastic, optical and chromatic distortion so bad I couldn't see a damn thing with them that I couldn't without them). The kids were enthralled with this toy--which is pretty blatant evidence that presents in that household were so rare that the children have little to play with. I felt bad enough for them (the youngest was only 6), that I went to a mall to search for something they could actually enjoy--and, for around $5, I found a calculator that they could have fun with. Which was probably more than they got all year for fun.

  Another, right in my own former congregation, was a family including 2 children and a hounder father. The mother was born in the cancer. I have been in their dump (it is a dump, since everything in it was crap quality), and noticed how few toys they have. They had a Nintendo game system (with a grand total of maybe 8 games, including the ones that came with the unit), a few dolls, a Merlin (a phone-like device that you play games with the numbers), and relatively limited stuff to draw with. They were home-schooled, so I would expect the art supplies. This was about average for what the children have--very little.

  Yet another was the lead hounder when I first went into the cancer. His family had practically zilch--supplies for boasting sessions and field circus were bountiful, but toys were not. They didn't even have a damn TV or radio! Yet, they had the means to play Kingdumb sxxx in their car. They had plenty when it came to theocraptic items, but nothing when it came to entertainment. One would think everyone in the place was in their 90s and 100s by looking at it. Even my grandmother had more in the way of entertainment, despite my grandfather having had a stroke that makes him sensitive to noise, than this family had!

  Yes, those children are missing out on a lot by not celebrating holidays.
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  palmtree67

  Did anyone else ever notice that when they DID give a gift, it was incredibly cheap?

  When I'm shopping for someone, I decide how much I want to spend, and then shop for something in that price range that I know the person will really love.

  It always seemed to me that JW's shopped for whatever was the cheapest, without much thought about the person's likes or dislikes.

  2 cents, please!
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  Mickey mouse

  I think I had one wrapped gift my entire childhood, yet my parents would always trot out the "we don't need an occasion to give a gift" line.
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  BluesBrother

  Worldly people understand that special occasions are just one kind of opportunity to express appreciation or affection.

  I only got to understand this when I had 'let down the defences' and started to talk more to people at work . I got to see the value of Birthdays and Christmas ..Such customs keep families together even though they live apart . Friendships are maintained better . Even if lives go on separately. at least they get a card or gift twice a year , to know that the person is still there and thinking of them..
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  WuzLovesDubs

  What a gift says, what it is supposed to say, is "I was thinking about you...I care about you...I wanted to do something NICE for you because to do so not only pleases you but makes me happy too!"

  But the JWs live a life of hatred for life, hatred for each other, jealousy of people who are not in bondage like they are and a world of braggadoccio that has no basis in truth. They are truly out, standing in their own fields.
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  rocketman

  It is indeed a famous jw saying, and it holds no water in actual practice. It's just their way of trying to show that they are "normal", when in fact they seldom if ever give gifts other than on special occasions.

  That said, I do think they have the right idea about Christmas giving. I'm not saying that their viewpoint is correct (I think Christmas has evolved to the point where it's simply a family holiday and its pagan origins are no longer much of a factor), but that Christmas has become so commercialized that gift-giving is often done out of compulsion. At least that's how I feel - after trying to celebrate Christmas for about 8 years now, I still cannot get past the blatant commercialization and the compelling obligation that I feel to give gifts.
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  dissed

  Palmtree -

  Our horse club will play that gift game where you all bring a gift at a certain value ($10) and trade off. Its fun, but most will exceed the stated value.

  When we did this game with the JW's, it was just the opposite. Few spent the agreed upon value and some wrapped up junk they found. It was very dissapointing to play this game with the JW's.

  Yes, the JW's have a very well deserved rep for being cheap and using the excuse we give when our heart moves us too, which is seldom for most JW's.