well hello there
i feel ya...the last few months have been crazy for me just like they have been for you. it's hard to find a new focus when there is a constant sh*tstorm whirling around you, right??
some things i have done recently that have really not given me a new focus yet, but have been awesome for my well being and attitude:
went back to school-i know you toyed around with this one. any way you could take even one class next semester?? seriously, just getting out there and learning a new subject, hearing new people express new ideas and opinions, heaing myself express new ideas and opinions---heaven!!! as much as the work has been a pain, i've loved that part of it.
changed/changing my personal appearance--started small, with my hair. then i got a new purse. snowballed from there and next month i will be sporting a new set of *ahem* girls and the tattoo i've always wanted on my back.
how about travelling? if you are short on cash, just a quick road trip wtih some girlfriends?? never know what you might find and you're sure to have some laughs along the way. road trippin is my favorite....unplanned is always the best.
doing some random thing you've never done before...the other night some girlfriends and i (all married) went to a gay club just cause we'd never gone to one before! funnest night i've had in a long time. i have decided gay ppl are more fun than straight ppl...haha. and they had great music too.
anyway, hang in there...i know it sucks to hit those rough patches where you just feel so directionless. but i think that is normal...it's just that as JWs we were taught that was bad and would lead to satans traps.