yes i turned down an elder , but it wasnt because i was a "good dub" as i hadnt attended for around 2 years by then . he felt terrible about it and i felt sorry for him (he was married) and my friends dad .
When you were a loyal dub, did you ever turn down sexual advances?
by asilentone 54 Replies latest jw experiences
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White Dove
No. I was and still am pretty much invisible.
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Frequent_Fader_Miles
Yes. Thinking back now, I turned down quite a few. Some of these men were after me for years ...but I was so brainwashed ....
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Krettnawe
Is it wrong for a "loyal dub" to be interested in the opposite sex and express this to the other party?
I guess I just dont understand the whole premise fo this thread.
Are JW's supposed to be asexual?
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yknot
Krett-darlin,
The only time JW males are to 'express interest' is when they are about to ask the female to officially "date" (better have talked to her daddy too before asking!).
Dating is when both are seeking marriage to each other --- as in expect the enagagement announcement within a month or two if not sooner!
Sexual thoughts are to be 'deadened' if single ......... if they are not able to be deadened, than marriage should be pursued.
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144001
I was never a "loyal dub," rather, I was an unwilling and uncompensated marketing representative child slave of the WTBTS. Therefore, the question is inapplicable to me.
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Magwitch
Hell No! My Psychopath husband had me practically locked in the house for 20 years so no one would look at me. When I did go out (like to the grocery store) he was sure to come along (just in case).
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sspo
Yes
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dgp
Well, from an outsider's perspective, then, any normal display of interest in a person is considered improper.
This reminds me of the attitude that prevailed in my community when I was a kid. Smoking was frowned upon. You were supposed to never ever smoke. You would get seriously reprimanded if you smoked when you were, say, 15. Yet, if you smoked very well at 18, your parents felt it was not their business. This is to say, "We don't want to OFFICIALLY KNOW that you smoke, and we'll play dumb and strict until you reach a certain age".
I know what community we're talking about. Yet we have to say it's incomprehensible. "We know you have urges. If we didn't, we wouldn't be talking about masturbation and fornication all the time. We know that you stare, and we know that you have actually checked people out before you ask a sister out. Yet, we will play dumb and won't recognize that's in our minds. Once you make it clear that you have actually gone through all we know you're going through, we'll force you to a quick marriage SO YOU CAN HAVE THE SEX YOU WANT and we can still claim it's not unholy. The idea here is, have sex but feel very guilty and make it an extremely frustrating experience. We know God gave you genitals for a reason, but we think that was a bad reason. And we don't care about "be fruitful and multiply"".
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miseryloveselders
I decided to answer for WTWizard in his absense...... well a copy and paste from another topic he posted on.....
It is an absolute crock of s***. Why? Would you buy a car without test driving it first? Would you buy a house without a thorough inspection to make sure it suits your needs and is in acceptable condition? I don't think so. Yet, both are relatively expendable: a car lasts only about 5-6 years before it gets traded in, and a house can be remodeled and repaired if it isn't perfectly suitable.
In a marriage,ideally it is forever. But, if you go in sight unseen and it turns out that it isn't suitable, there is absolutely no recourse. You are stuck, possibly in a loveless marriage or one where the partner's organ doesn't work. Unlike a house, you cannot repair something if it's not working properly. For this reason, I view fornication as like a test run. It is potentially dangerous to do it indiscriminately, but perfectly OK if the people are serious about each other.
I also don't like the obstacle course they set up to stop people from finding marriage partners. First, it has to be another robot. Then, it has to be someone that has been around for a time (and they will not say how long is enough, so they can keep stalling for someone else to take it out from under you). Then they create hardships for people to meet the opposite sex at a$$emblies--congregations now being orferedsuggested to sit in sections where they are assigned to clean. And the gatherings that could lead to courtship have all been phased out. It seems that this organization has conspired to stop people from ever having any fun, or getting any sexual fulfillment.
It makes one wonder why Jehovah created the male and female sex organs if He intended for them to go unused. The cult harps on that everything Jehovah creates has a purpose. And yet He creates sex organs and the drives for them to go to waste. Does anyone wish to rely on an organization with this kind of inconsistency to make their decisions for them in the future? I hope not.