Again debating Sipping The Kool-Aid, I'm just frustrated....

by Confuzzled 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Confuzzled
    Confuzzled

    Sorry if this is rambling. I just have some thoughts I need to get out.

    I've mentioned before my thought about faking my way through the cult, or at least pretending to, would make my life easier. Not that I want too. I've harbored a morbid curiosity with the cult simply because of all the research I've done, and actually going to a meeting or two would be for me like watching a train wreck, or poking a dead body with a stick. I've flirted with the idea of at least pretending to be interested in the cult for the sake of my relationship. If I act glazed eyed and obedient for a couple hours a week, and submit to being patronized for a little while, my life and relationship would be easier. I've been told online AND off by former JWs that it's a bad idea to even go to one meeting even out of curiosity. I'm well aware of the used car saleman, time share representive sales tactics the use, and the love bombing. But sometimes I just feel like giving up the fight with my BF over this. I'm naturally rebellious, strangers make me nervous (I'm a cautious person anymore do to other reasons having nothing to do with my current relationship), and I cannot stand fake people to the point I point out hypocrisy I see (I'm a tad antisocial). These are all things I would either have to hide and/or put up with if I just "Yes Dear"ed it and pretended to act interested in he cult just to make my life easier. It would probably make it harder, though, I understand that. I'm not made to be a cult member. Luckily I think my partner realizes this, and he can see through me anyway. Before I showed up here awhile ago and began lurking everyday, and rarely asking for advice, I had told him, "The only way I would do this is for you." He said the only reason I should do it is for myself and "Jehovah" (which is a name I refuse to say out loud). Thankfully, I started reading first, but the only thing really in the begining that kept me from it was the Trinity, the annointed (YEAH, I'll believe that one!), and the Governing Body, and the revolving doctrines (ok it looked ke shit to me from the very begining in retrospect). Then I really started reading here, and other recovery websites (Damn you stumbling apostates! LOL), and it took me one afternoon to make a decision. Absolutely not, everything I thought was bullshit really is bullshit. So on with my research, which is fascinating stuff. I was really into reading books by former members of the FLDS, so it sort of appealed to me, then I started seeing the paralells between the two cults, and the skeleton structure of what a cult is. It became scary to see how close I was to joining something so similar, and even though I can see it, the fact I still harbor the idea of joining. In one of the FLDS books I read (I think it was Stolen Innocence, I've read a few so I can't remember) that the authors parents started out trying to convince someone else not to convert, only to end up converting themselves. Then I wonder out of pure curiosity, did anybody know of anybody as anti-JW as I developing Stockholm Syndrome?

    I'm not going to do this. I'm just hormonal and trying to patch up holes in my relationship, and a majority of our problems are not WTS related, but it doesn't make my life any easier. Thanks for the ear to listen, and I apologize again for the rambling unstructured post!

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    Have you thought of getting a different BF and hence getting a 'new life'?

    Outaservice

  • yknot
    yknot

    The bait is 'high standards of morality'.........

    The hook that snags a person is agreeing to limit associations to or placing higher value on associations with Witnesses simple based on their being a JW.

    Ask yourself..... is he willing to make the same compromises/sacrifices in attending whatever religious or alternative activity you choose? If he wouldn't attend with you elsewhere, than you should attend with him.

    If your only reason is curiousity: I suggest attending the CBS/TMS/SM.

    Before attending make sure to read all publications to be used too.... (KM, NWT passages, "Come Follow", Reasoning, Benefit and OD)

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Don't get manipulated into a cult. A person who doesn't respect your freedom of choice in religion and other things is not worth your effort.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    The closer you get to the JWs and their Emotional Blackmail, the tighter the noose around your liberty will get.

    I cannot recall your specific family situation. However, PROTECTING YOUR CHILDREN from negative influences (e.g., destructive, apocalyptic, high-control groups) is a noble goal.

  • Confuzzled
    Confuzzled

    Thanks Yknot....The truth is I don't want to. It would be selling my soul to the very devils I'm trying to defeat, just because I'm sick of fighting. I'm just frustrated.

    Outaservice: I can't leave him just yet. I have an extremely complicated relationship with this person that transcends bailing at this particular time. I would love to explain more, but not only would the post be REALLY long, it would not be hard identify this person should this forum be stumbled on. I made the mistake of telling him that I had spoken with victims over the internet, because he accused me of only speaking to two people. I think he's been on Silentlambs.com, so I'm not taking my chances with identifying characteristics. Lets just say at the current moment, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

  • JWoods
    JWoods

    You said you were a stubborn person who did not much trust other people.

    I would hang on to that.

    Be stubborn about being forced into the JW cult, and maintain your mistrust of them.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    Then I wonder out of pure curiosity, did anybody know of anybody as anti-JW as I developing Stockholm Syndrome?

    My uncle was very anti-JW after his wife joined and she dragged my mother into it. (That was the initial link to JW's)
    I don't know his full conversion story, but somewhere along the way, he became a full-speed-ahead JW and still serves.

    Examples like my uncle make me wonder just how much exposure to the religion that children should have. I know if one parent refused any exposure when the other parent is JW, it would sometimes cause them to think it was some wonderful huge secret withheld from them. But a little exposure causes the JW to demand/request more. They ask that the child accompany them in field recruiting and they try to make it fun by stopping at the donut shop. Posters here tell us about their children worrying about "Daddy" being destroyed by Jehovah because he isn't a JW.

  • Confuzzled
    Confuzzled

    Or Mommy going to hell because she hates "Jehovah" and wears a cross.......

  • White Dove

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit