Mother who blackmails me into this BS

cia112

Well my mom has been a JW ever since i was 5 but was studying since before i was born, i am now 21 and hate every minute of it. I could never stand it, she knows i dont like it but still makes me go preaching and go to the meetings and what not, your probably asking yourself why dont i just leave? well shes the one who pays for my college and everything tht i need. So basically everytime i dont want to go preaching she starts saying how shes gonna leave and i could support myself.

Another thing is that i have a boyfriend who isnt a JW and ever since she found out she treats me mad cold, as if im not her daughter, and shes telling all these lies about him to everybody! The rest of my family dont like him cause of her! I really wish i can leave but i dont know where to go or how to pay for my stuff, i just need 3 more years to graduate so i guess i jusnt need to hold on to this torture for a lil while longer.. =[

leavingwt

Welcome!

Are you a baptized JW?

Open mind

Welcome to JWN!

If your sanity can take it, you probably know what the most practical course is.

Hang in there. Get your education and a viable means of self-support before striking out on your own.

IMO, education and training that leads to self-sufficiency is what a parent SHOULD provide for their kids, so don't feel bad about keeping up appearances if that's the condition your Mom attaches to her continued support.

In the mean time, vent and commiserate on here to your heart's desire. It helped me quite a bit.

om

OnTheWayOut

It's your choice. Most would suffer for the three years to help pay for college, as you are leaning.

Let me help you with the guilt. Mom is wrong about forcing you to meetings and service. The religion is wrong.
But Mom is trying to do what is right. She wants you to have a good future, a good life. So enjoy her help to pay for college.

As far as the boyfriend is concerned, family often don't like who we choose but learn to tolerate them. We have to live with our choices, they don't. Do what you want or what you need to do to get by while you are getting Mom's help. You can worry less about it later.

mkr32208

Go to the door by yourself tell them it gives you a panic attack if anyone goes with you. THen either don't knock or knock REALLY light if anyone comes to the door apologize and then explain the situation to the householder just like you did to us.

'I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you, my mom is a JW and she makes me do this or she's going to cut off my college fund. So I'm sorry I disturbed you. Have a nice day.'

I mean DAMN that would get people talking wouldn't it!?

mindmelda

Hey, I think we have the same mom!

Sadly, your mother believes that she is saving your everlasting life by acting like a controlling maniac.

I just keep gently telling my mother that most of the world is not JWs, and doesn't get it, and you can't make them believe it.

I hope one day she'll actually believe that you can't convert anyone by bullying them or shoving it down their throats.

I'm 50 and I'm still going through that...you can't make Witnesses believe that it's not for everyone unless they have some amazing moment themselves where it ceases to make sense anymore. Sometimes that happens.

Things will improve when you're out of her house. She really can't tell you what to do in your own.

If it helps, your mother is wrong, and so is mine. If God wanted anyone to forcibly convert people, he'd have authorized violent means to do it. Mental and emotional force is really no different than physical, it's just as effective but makes people feel as if they're being "nice" about forcing you.

They're not. They're being just like anyone who holds a gun to your head and forces you to do something you don't want to do.

cia112

Thanks for the advice guys, it really is frustrating! Cause this woman is really a fanatic! I have 4 older siblings, one became inactive, the other disfellowshiped, the other studied but never got into it and the last one just stopped going to the meetings, lucky for them theyre all older than me and make money themselves lol, but no im not baptised, my mom keeps giving me the talk so i can take tht step cause im her last hope, but no thank you.

I have 21 years to vent so get ready guys lol and thanks again!

St George of England

The education is the most important thing in your life - EVER! Do not miss out or screw up your education or you will regret it for the rest of your life. Do whatever it takes to get the degree THEN you can think of other options.

George

jamiebowers

Where is your dad in all of this? How old do you have to be to apply for financial aid on your own? If you're in the US, have you ever looked into AmeriCorps? If necessary, could you rely on your siblings for room and board while going to school? You may have more options than you realize.

mindmelda

Oh, jeez hon, whatever you do, don't GET BAPTIZED! You can talk at least talk to your mother as long as you don't give them the authority to DF you for having your own mind.

And you'll be able to keep close to your siblings who are thankfully out of it this crapola.

keep reading here...you'll find out just how lucky you are to not be any more part of this than you are.

Mother who blackmails me into this BS

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